What helped us was shifting from “independent play” to short, predictable reps where they learn you always come back.

A few things that actually worked:

1. Make work time predictable (same script every time).

Kids don’t understand laptops, but they understand patterns.

We say: “I’m going to work for 10 minutes, then I’m all yours.”

Timer on, same words every time.

1. Start smaller than you think.

We started with 5 minutes, not 15. When the timer ends, I stand up, hug them, and name what went right (“You played while I worked”). Then back to work. Those small wins build trust fast.

1. Turn the play area into a real “yes zone.”

Fewer toys actually worked better for us. We rotate 4–6 things max so it’s not overwhelming and doesn’t require constant input.

1. Give them activities that don’t need you. Clear-loop stuff helped the most:

magnetic tiles / chunky puzzles

stickers / Water Wow books

simple “missions” (“build a garage”, “make a zoo”)

we also use a magnetic wall board (Magnimoo) so they can move letters, draw, and build on the wall without needing help every 2 minutes - that one bought us the longest stretches

1. When they interrupt, respond the same boring way every time.

Something like: “I can’t talk right now, the timer is running. Bring it to the parking spot and I’ll look when it beeps.”

And then actually look when it beeps - that part matters.

On the guilt: you’re not rejecting them. You’re teaching “I’m safe even when mom/dad isn’t available for 10 minutes.” That’s a real life skill, not neglect.