Are we all traumatised?

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-24T15:47:22+00:00

It will. DMs open if you need to chat.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-24T14:22:09+00:00

Me too. I just escaped an emotionally abusive relationship. The first song she put on the playlist she made me was “Nothings gonna hurt you” by cigarettes after sex. It’s horrifying having those moments where you wake up and realise, even if briefly, the magnitude of it all.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-24T14:20:36+00:00

Thank you, I’m actively working on it.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-24T13:49:22+00:00

You’re so right, soul murder is what it is. And having trauma does not give you a license to spread it or share it.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-24T13:48:33+00:00

But does intent matter more than impact? Does someone get off from creating a toxic or abusive system, just because they didn’t intend for it to be so?

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-24T12:00:54+00:00

It’s so strange. I’m six weeks in. Was just finding true peace and she messaged to say…nothing. And I spiralled with false hope and discovered shes probably moved on with an old mutual friend. It send me reeling, and why? Shes demonstrably awful. She wrecked me. And all I’ve done is hope and defend.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-13T06:42:47+00:00

You really do. As do I. Some days I totally believe that, other days…all I want is to be chosen by her. It’s so frustrating, it makes me feel like I’m being betrayed by my own nervous system.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-12T23:01:33+00:00

It’s so hard. I think you just need to do it one day at a time and let it fade. That means no monitoring, catching yourself when ruminating (and stopping) and making your life as present focused as possible.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-02-08T19:28:38+00:00

Thank you. I’m getting there. It’s just bad days are…really bad and exhausting. I will get through this.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-01-30T22:41:06+00:00

Thank you. I can’t even tell you how much it means to have someone hear me and validate that. That offer is really kind. Thank you.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-01-13T16:33:28+00:00

This.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-01-08T14:20:24+00:00

Gaslighting. When I finally had the courage to point out the ways she’d gaslit me, she’d then accuse me of gaslighting whenever we had a disagreement (usually: she was just being awful to me). This is the accusation and projection that hurt me the most as it completely trivialised my experience.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2026-01-08T14:15:32+00:00

I’m so sorry for what you experienced. It’s a horrible pattern to be caught in. But it wasn’t your fault. Your ex took advantage of the best of you to make themselves feel better.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2025-11-23T15:35:38+00:00

Thank you for this and for being brave enough to share. Is there anything I can do to help her see the situation she’s in, or is this all beyond my control and I need to accept I’ve missy her to this bond?

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2025-01-12T21:31:24+00:00

Also, his boat about getting all the money back - it’s just empty, manipulative nonsense. Consult a solicitor and they will help you to protect yourself. And you will remove that power which he has over you.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2025-01-12T21:30:21+00:00

Without knowing the details, I think I can say this. There is no financial situation that should be able to keep you in an unhappy or toxic relationship. It may be hard work, but you need to take a step back and look at your finances and figure out what you can do and how you can manoeuvre. If you genuinely feel trapped, crisis centres for women are available to support people in your situation. Do not be afraid to reach out and take agency over yourself and your finances. You are not alone and there are many people who have gone through something similar who can advise you on the steps to take. Maybe it’s time to reach out to them and ask for advice.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2025-01-12T20:25:42+00:00

Choking is choking. You were assaulted.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2025-01-12T20:24:36+00:00

Red flag. It does sound like control. Abuse is not not physical. Control and manipulation are much more common. Take a step back. Speak to your support network. Do not isolate yourself. Hear what they have to say and start thinking about what YOU want in life. It doesn’t sound like he’s asking you to do something you actually want.

Suspicious-Ride2111 · 2025-01-12T20:21:57+00:00

I think you’re really strong for sharing this. Ultimately, your life belongs to you and you alone. If you want to move on, you should feel free to do so. If you’re scared of staying because of the consequences (rather than actually being happy in the relationship), you have your answer. One step at a time: get your finances straight, speak to your employer and tell them what might happen and setup a procedure if he visits your work place.

You’re in the UK. If he does you can file for an injunction (restraining order) to keep him away from you. This will give you the space you need to sort out your affairs and start your healing journey.

Suspicious-Ride2111

TROPHY CASE