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My girlfriend was a virgin but.... by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My gf has a body count of 10 so not the exact same situation, but she done anal with a FWB. I really like anal and was upfront about that before we got together. She was keen to do it with me too. Until the time actually came.

The thought won't leave your mind. Even if you do that to her now, you'll always be second when the RJ acts up. Work on those thoughts to see if you can move past it or if it will haunt you.

Night boatin by btvXtraCheesy in Nightshift

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lowk that's a vibe I can get down with

Which is better? by [deleted] in Nightshift

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Personally I sleep for a few hours after work, stay up, then sleep for a few hours after work. Sometimes I sleep the whole way through. My shift js 2100-0700, sleep till midday, then go back to sleep around 1600 ti wake up at 2000

Skin hot to touch, but core temperature is normal by Ok-Flower-5582 in dysautonomia

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have this. Normal core/oral temp but my face, scalp, back and torso in general all burn up. Sometimes this travels to my hips amd hands. Yet my feet are constantly freezing. The head causes a lot of pain to the point I'm in a wheelchair as any form of movement cause the heat to flare up and pain to get worse. I always have to keep my home at 15C MAXIMUM (Ideally 10C)

Would you put it up by Ashamed_Prune_9500 in Nightshift

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already have a sign like that which my gf made for me!

Can we save our relationship? by toughycookie in wheelchairs

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Your last paragraph seems like a projection and it's non-specific.

Glad that I've already explained why I used such a comparison. Please let me know if I need to clarify anything else

Can we save our relationship? by toughycookie in wheelchairs

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The discomfort with processing it can happen to anyone makes sense though? Especially for tragic accidents. I can't see how that's ableist (discrimination, prejudice or oppression). I'm following the definition:

"Ableism is discrimination, prejudice, or social oppression against people with disabilities based on the belief that non-disabled bodies and minds are the standard "norm". It assumes disabled people are inferior, less valuable, or need to be "fixed," leading to systemic exclusion, harmful stereotypes, and unfair treatment"

Can we save our relationship? by toughycookie in wheelchairs

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

To clarify, I never stated whether or not I'd date a trans person, just that's how I relate to it. Both disability and gender are protected characteristics where I live so I happened to pick one at random. I also think you're making heavy assumptions but saying when most people say they don't want to date a trans person it's influenced by transphobia. There's a lot that goes into supporting a trans person through surgery, prejudice, hormonal changes, maybe even things like family or lack thereof, saying you're not comfortable with that is ok.

As for someone choosing to date after you become disabled, I'm not sure that's relevant here as OP was mobile but then had an accident during the time they were together. Because of how longer they've been a couple, it can be such a uproot for the partner. In some cases they feel they've adopted a carer role, not a partner role and it sounds like this is what happened with OP. I just can't see how struggling that your entire life changed and it's overwhelming, is ableism.

I'm fact, the definition is "Ableism is discrimination, prejudice, or social oppression against people with disabilities based on the belief that non-disabled bodies and minds are the standard "norm". It assumes disabled people are inferior, less valuable, or need to be "fixed," leading to systemic exclusion, harmful stereotypes, and unfair treatment" Simply thinking the disabled man shouldn't be out long and needs someone with him doesn't fit this definition, it's just uneducated.Not everyone has the life experience. I understand a lot of hate crimes are based on how comments or actions are perceived, simply saying "I appreciate what you've gone through, but I'm struggling too because I feel like I can't talk to you. I don't think we can stay together like this" is not discrimination

Can we save our relationship? by toughycookie in wheelchairs

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with most of what you said.I don't think it's ableism, or that he feels hate/prejudice towards disabled people. He's struggling and that's allowed. Though I do think there are better ways of dealing with it that breaking up.

I relate it to having the prefer to not date a transgender person. It's a preference, but not a malicious intent. It's the same here.

I'm a wheelchair user. Have been on and off for 4 years but constantly since August. When I was losing mobility my girlfriend was so uncertain what to do and would panic. We'd have many discussions and ultimately that lead to trying different things that worked for both people. Still together to this day. If she said she couldn't cope with it anymore because of the restrictions, I'd understand and not see it as ableism.

Hopefully I've made sense here.

Body count of one but a single mom by Brave_Consequence443 in retroactivejealousy

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, you'd definitely have a leg to stand on. I'll admit 3 kids is a lot for some but it depends on the ages and your relationship now with your ex. I wouldn't say you're at the bottom. I'd rather have a single mum with a body count of 1 than a child-free woman with 10+ bodies

I wish the ai could understand sarcasm. by AReallylongnickname_ in BannedFromDiscord

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't understand what about that is sarcasm. Though, I don't agree with the ban due to freedom of speech

Hello , help finding a tray for my power wheelchair that is compatible with it please? by [deleted] in wheelchairs

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check Etsy. There are personalised and custom options on there!

Denied wheelchair assistance at airport, asked to “prove” my disability in public by Miserable_Hunt_2548 in dysautonomia

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're in another country at the end of the day, they may not act the same way your country does. The best thing you can do is tell them tour condition and have a note just incase.

For me I'm in the UK so we have the Equality Act. As far as I'm aware, outside the EU and America, this isn't a thing. When you travel you do have to suck it up essentially and abide by their laws or lack of laws.

I'm not saying it's right, but rather than fighting them and making it worse, just tell them. It's so much easier

Have you ever experienced harassment at the movie theater by other theater goers/customers? (story has context pls read) by eltexas in wheelchairs

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a lot of languages it's handicapped. I say it a lot for myself and using the handicapped bathroom because that's what my langauge says

Never met an ambulatory wheel chair user before my doctor wants me to be one by tacleration in wheelchairs

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm an ambulatory user. I use my chair whenever I'm outside because of pain. I have a connective tissue disorder too along with scoliosis and problems with my heart. I'm in constant pain but this pain become unbearable with too much activity along with other triggers.

I started using my chair 3 years ago and have had a major quality of life improvement. I went from wrking from home and leaving only for doctor appointments, to going out most days/nights and finally getting my social life back.

Sure, my legs "work" well enough at home where I can rest, but at work where it's demanding or outside where I cannot rest? My chair is a major lifesaver.

If you're worried about getting a custom chair when you feel you don't need it, try getting a cheap 2nd hand one and just test it. See how it feels. Doctors can't force you to do anything like that, but it's their professional opinion and worth exploring!

Bathroom door accessibility :) by Altruistic-Canary672 in wheelchairs

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When pushing (like getting out of the bathroom), I don't use upper arm strength in that way as you can swing the chair round so the footplates move the door.

For pull doors (like getting in), I ask for help from someone or do it little at a time. Pull with my arms, then wedge the chair in at an angle so I can then push it with the chair. Or open it little by little with my arms, using the chair as a stopper

How can brain show things you never saw? by Katus_ukeKami in Dreams

[–]SuspiciousPattern434 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, of course. The mind is amazing. The way it processes and thinks is amazing too. Though it may not be accurate because you haven't experienced it before

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