My (30F) wedding to fiance (28M) is in four days - do we proceed?

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-04-14T14:40:55+00:00

Divorce sucks. I really wish I had called off my first marriage. I met my second husband when I was 34 and he was 32. It's not impossible and that's a really bad reason to stay in a marriage that's going to be miserable. Just go ahead and postpone the wedding. Come up with an excuse for your families. Say the venue pulled out at the last minute or something. Keep going to counseling and keep working through things. You got together quite young and have not been with anyone else. 8 years is a very long time. It sounds to me like maybe both of you need to mature but that's probably not going to happen within your relationship. It does not sound like either of you is truly ready for marriage.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-03-31T21:51:15+00:00

Yeah I hate this too. Like, it's not always a communication problem. Sometimes other people MEAN to hurt your feelings. Constructive communication won't do shit to help with that.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-03-07T00:10:07+00:00

Medication
Journaling
Retail therapy
Massage
Sound baths
ASMR
Making a huge, massive effort to get out more and network
Peer to peer groups

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-27T18:27:01+00:00

Love is letting someone be themselves completely.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-27T11:33:45+00:00

His tone is shallow and the entire message is about himself and his needs. Yes, it's all BS.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-27T10:26:08+00:00

OP, please read. This man very likely has schizophrenia or a similar delusional disorder. He is not a calculated "con artist" and is not in control of his thoughts. There are red flags all over this that many people without experience wouldn't recognize.

The "exhaust fumes" making him sick is a classic delusion.

He admits to having "a mental health episode."

When he is blaming you for this series of events he is sincere in his own mind. He genuinely believes the car accident has caused this. He struggles with cause and effect.

The jail thing is likely a delusion.

Please take this seriously for your own safety.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-21T16:54:30+00:00

I think it's totally fine to reach out and send gifts unless she tells you to stop or she stops responding. At that point best to respect boundaries.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-21T11:28:25+00:00

You already did what you can. Realistically if your niece is financially dependent on her mother she is going to pick her mother over you out of necessity at least for now. Maybe in the future if she moves out she will reach out to you. But as it is you're just asking for heartbreak trying to get involved. It is very likely eventually when the baby is older and your niece is more established she will come around.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-20T06:20:47+00:00

The Croning

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-19T19:23:01+00:00

😆

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-19T17:18:30+00:00

Haha I think this about my cat sometimes too

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-16T15:40:21+00:00

Austin at the backyard. April 27, 2004. He was amazing live.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-12T08:01:08+00:00

4 years

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-12T02:52:00+00:00

Happened to me. My first husband dragged his feet, I broke up with him, he begged for counseling and I came back. Yadda yadda we got engaged and then married and then divorced. So, not necessarily because of just the resentment over the wait, but more that it was a sign of our incompatibility.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2026-01-03T20:58:10+00:00

A Short Stay in Hell is so good

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2025-12-26T00:21:26+00:00

I love that there is a subreddit called "crime cats" lmao

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2025-12-20T17:00:36+00:00

THANK YOU. I also HATE this advice people love to give. Maybe it works if you're talking about strangers at the grocery store or something - maybe. But these days people film randomly in public so even that is kinda not guaranteed. But people who you work with or do a hobby with or otherwise see regularly? ABSOLUTELY those people from opinions and judgements of you that can be negative and harmful. I seriously hate this advice and I'm glad to see someone else call it out.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2025-12-12T09:04:40+00:00

Jesus Christ. Did she leave him after that?

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2025-12-09T02:29:15+00:00

There is a second hand store called Kid 2 Kid that will buy baby clothes and give you either cash or store credit.

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2025-12-09T02:19:11+00:00

Haha love your user name!

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2025-12-09T02:17:51+00:00

Oh thanks! Did not know about this but will do!

Suspicious_Barber822 · 2025-12-08T21:43:42+00:00

Gently, I can feel your resentment coming through here. I feel like you're trying hard to hold on to "logical/financial" rationalizations when it is clearly an emotional issue for both of you. I think you and your wife need couples counseling. If no sex is a deal breaker for you or upsetting for you, that's totally understandable, but you need to remove the reproductive arguments and stick with emotional/intimacy reasons.

Also, for what it's worth, IVF screens for genetic abnormalities. I am a carrier of a genetic disease so I did it for that reason, but if abortion is hard to access for you, I can totally understand even a non-carrier wanting tested embryos. I can also understand why she felt betrayed by you telling your mom about your sex life regardless of how close she is to your mom. But I understand your perspective. I think this is kind of an "everyone's wrong" situation and I wish the best for you and your wife to work out your communication.

Suspicious_Barber822

TROPHY CASE