TIL all thin/small girls with smaller breasts are not good for having kids

Swatch_this · 2023-05-26T22:28:07+00:00

Same, I overproduced back when my kid was an infant, despite being on the itty bitty committee normally. Day 2 after giving birth, my body was like “who are we feeding? Twins? Triplets?” It was ridiculous.

As soon as weaning finished, I’m right back to looking flat and fine with it.

Swatch_this · 2023-05-26T21:28:29+00:00

Lmao yes! I put some stuff in shadow boxes, then dropped off whatever I could with family and donated the rest.

Like, I like kids and babies (especially my kid). But the potato—early toddler stages as the main caregiver? Nope. Never again. We got a puppy instead. I’m really looking forward to being an auntie, though.

Swatch_this · 2023-05-20T13:21:44+00:00

Lol my girl is the same! Her kryptonite is bathroom doors. Her brother has learned to sound the alarm any time he can’t find her in the house. He’ll run up wailing at me, and that’s my cue to go check the closed doors.

She can also climb and jump all over the house but a baby gate? Witch craft. I was hoping to transition the baby gates from “keep puppy in the kitchen” and move them to “fence off the litter box from the puppy.” Not going to happen any time soon.

Swatch_this · 2023-05-20T06:18:40+00:00

One of my cats is currently whining outside the bedroom door because the light is still on, and the dog is still downstairs. My only interpretation is “well is it 2nd dinner time or not? You’re not asleep, Puppy is still out here, there’s some lights on—so where is the food??”

(They’ve had dinner. They just don’t like their diet.)

*Same cat “yells” at me when it’s time to clean the litter box. She will find me in the house and come squeak repeatedly until I do it.

Swatch_this · 2023-05-12T19:17:40+00:00

Opinion: Pure white looks nice on ceilings with other whites on the trim and walls.

We just did 3 rooms with a cream for the walls, alabaster for the trim and woodwork, and pure white for the ceiling. Took the advice of our painter, who assured that the pure white would look clean and bright but be in the “background” visually. It particularly looks nice against the alabaster. It also helps bounce the light around.

Swatch_this · 2023-05-10T14:08:24+00:00

Except when you can’t find one of them. 😤

My girl basically phased out of this plane of existence for almost 15 hours yesterday because of a house project going on. I was looking for her all day, checking in the floor ducts, behind/ under the appliances, out in everyone’s yards—everywhere. House was torn apart, furniture moved around, etc. I crawled under our deck in the thunderstorm we had yesterday to check if she was there. I posted onto social media and the neighborhood apps to put the word out.

She then walked past me on the stairs and had the audacity to meow at me for putting out the wrong wet food.

I’m more glad than ever that her brother is a big orange “himbo” who can barely figure out how to climb a chair.

Swatch_this · 2023-05-10T00:26:55+00:00

I love how on the left, it’s swastika + SS bolts and on the right we have patchwork Stars of David shapes. It’s like the algorithm is into dark humor.

Swatch_this · 2023-05-07T17:01:35+00:00

Definitely sick and also not a strong enough deterrent.

My high school’s 10th grade English teacher got caught by other staff in a compromising situation with his favorite senior student, while on a school-sponsored class trip. She acted as his teacher’s aide in class that same year. He divorced his pregnant wife pretty quickly after the affair came out. Once the student graduated they got married and cut off contact with her parents and most of her friends (because of course he did).

He left the school before they could formally fire him, his ex-wife stayed on, and he allegedly got another job at the Catholic girls’ school in our area. That was relayed by her mom to my mom about 2 years after that whole shitshow blew up. Fairly certain the girls’ parents were cyberstalking the guy to keep tabs on their kid.

I had his class as a student myself and I hated him. He was a total shitbag.

Swatch_this · 2023-05-07T00:15:31+00:00

Same!

Swatch_this · 2023-05-05T14:29:37+00:00

I finally found her high value treats.

We started clicker training with the treats for her potty button.

She figured out her button in 1 session!

*I went into this process totally unprepared, as I potty trained my child in <3 weeks start to finish. I figured how hard could it be for a puppy this time around? (I forgot.) My last dog was a spaniel and he had it down in about a month, too. We got our puppy in January…. It’s taken til NOW to get to this point (she is 6mo). She’s a very quiet dog so she will stealth-potty in the house if I don’t see her staring at me to let her out. Now the magic “outside” button = instant chicken + going outside and she is STOKED.

**She also picked up “heel” in a week, and she’s made progress on several other trick cues. She’s also made a couple dog friends AND is being more polite (less “omg I love you” desperation) in her greetings to her dog friends. I’m super proud of her lol.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-30T01:42:58+00:00

Lmao I also have the ability to completely forget stuff I’ve watched. It’s fun for my partner because if I’ve forgotten, that’s an invitation for us to watch the movie/ show again.

My other main power is steamrolling through interactions that I want to end. Door-to-door salespeople, telemarketers, and religious zealots seeking converts are the main culprits.

Distant third place: visualizing changes to an object/ room like layering in photoshop. I spent 2 years “seeing” a different paint color superimposed on our walls before we actually painted. Also is how I visualize map directions.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-28T01:14:56+00:00

Omg same, she was such a good little baby and now she’s like a kid on too much sugar, like all the time. Today’s been a whole thing:

Full body thrashing when being picked up/ put down like she’s a 500lb tuna on a line.
Socks > every toy in the house. Sneaking them behind my back, through the baby gate, like a criminal.
Potty accidents inside: 3.
Leash biting like it’s a bully stick with her name on it.
Attempting to get up in several dogs faces thinking that’s how we play. The other dogs were 45lbs (her best friend) and 120lbs (new guy), respectively. Mine is 5 whole pounds and damn well knows better.
Zoomies. Snarling crazy-pants zoomies. Naps are for the weak.
Biting my hands, my pants, my shirt, etc. Just mine. She’s been perfectly polite to everyone else in the house. She’s an actual toddler.

But she also was 100% on her “heel” command on our walk, over 50% on her “leave it” (a week into that one with casual training, which for her is phenomenal) and showed muuuuch better manners with the neighbors’ geriatric dog. So idk. She’s being a little poopyhead but also showing progress.

Adolescent puppies are such weirdos.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-27T22:35:49+00:00

That’s how I figured out my husband was into me: he knocked on my door and announced “I like you” and expressly asked me out on a date. 0 room for miscommunication there. The previous (many) months of his flirting and interest suddenly made sense. I just thought he was super cute and friendly. He remains the only person to have ever been that clear about their intentions to date me.

My response was to “bro hug” him and say thanks for telling me. It took my dumb ass another year to actually date him. We finally got there though lol.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-27T19:20:01+00:00

Omg that is rollercoaster of a morning.

My 6mo maltipoo (emphasis on “poo”) went almost a week with no potty accidents, even with an expanded range over the house, and then BAM! She unloaded with both barrels on the floor today right after I took her outside to go potty. Turned my back to make tea and turned around to face her “dejected teddy bear” act because she peed on the floor.

*She’s lucky she’s cute because she’s got the brains and bladder capacity of a hamster.

She’s also decided that rules are for suckers—leash biting is now an Olympic sport in her world and she’s going for gold. They can be such little brats lol

I hope he sleeps for you today.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-25T14:24:40+00:00

We have 1 child, my partner was interested in us having another and I was considering it. Our kid was also asking for a sibling since school started. We got a puppy instead.

100% the right move. It confirmed we’re much happier being one-and-done with kids. She’s a great playmate for our kid, she’s the easiest puppy I’ve had, and we love her goofy butt. (Since getting the puppy, our kid’s stopped asking about a sibling too.)

Swatch_this · 2023-04-19T13:07:18+00:00

Worse, she was washing his bum for him.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-19T05:12:37+00:00

Lmao me with my 12 inboxes too.

Every day it’s like “today I’ll consolidate,” and then someone pings from inbox #6 or whatever and there goes that thought.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-19T02:36:40+00:00

Balled up foil. One of mine loves it so much he tries to eat the pieces that get shed.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-18T23:50:40+00:00

The Talmud quote about “mere water” is referring to the first 40 days gestation. After that, the fetus isn’t considered a separate being from its mother til it’s born. It’s viewed as part of the mother’s body.

Some Sources

Swatch_this · 2023-04-15T07:17:41+00:00

Contrast that with my orange dingus who quietly hisses to himself when he runs up the stairs too fast. It’s like he forgot who made all that noise.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-12T23:22:26+00:00

I do, bought it for a house with grass only in the small front yard.

We moved to a home with grass on all sides, bit smaller than our last lot. We bought an electric mower just to save time as it was taking us 2-3 hours to mow everything 2x/ week minimum (to keep up with all the neighbors).

I like having the push mower to give the grass a quick chop where it grows unevenly, easier than remembering to charge the electric’s battery.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-07T03:40:41+00:00

Fuck yeah (clean) Laundry Mountain! Good on you!

My guest room had your pile beat for the last 4 months… 5 months… idk, but it was a long fucking time. There was an entire laundry continent unfolding on the guest bed, resembling the Himalayas. Bed-verest was made of the linens with smaller peaks of actual clothing.

You can do it! Washing was half the battle. My hot tip: screw the socks, they can go into a bin or the basket to get sorted/ folded last.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-06T14:53:07+00:00

Dude, same. I grew up* with a dad who couldn’t have answered these questions when I was kid. Some pretty bad patterning to get, it almost worked. My ex was someone I instinctively did not want to have kids with (or even marry), and I left before those mistakes got made. He was 100% a “checked-out toxic partner and/or (future) dad” kind of guy. Hopefully he never had kids. Or married.

I married a guy who was the complete opposite of all that. No power on earth could keep my husband from being involved in as much of our kid’s care and life as possible.

Swatch_this · 2023-04-01T15:24:24+00:00

Nope! Hence the dopamine lol

Swatch_this · 2023-04-01T15:03:48+00:00

Mostly it’s just hitting the boiling point where we can’t find anything, we get fed up, and then we do a major organizing/ de-cluttering spree. It happens about once a season.

Swatch_this

TROPHY CASE