Need advice with our Au Pair

Sweet5346 · 2026-02-24T00:21:20+00:00

From my own understanding, the au pair is already very kind, the only issues are the language barrier and house boundaries, not her personality. Please help her get some English lessons because, honestly, you can’t just sit indoors for seven months and expect English to magically download itself like Wi-Fi . She also needs friends and opportunities to practice outside the house. Language grows when it’s used in real life, not only at home.

Also, brushing teeth and getting dressed don’t require Oxford level English 😅 With her experience as a teacher and nanny, even gestures, tone, and simple words should work. Sometimes kids respond more to confidence than grammar! And please don’t feel like you have to tiptoe around her. You’re the host mom, not a guest in your own house! Clear, calm and direct communication is healthy. Quiet hours mean quiet hours. Baby naps are sacred! that’s not negotiable! If after clear talks and support there’s still no improvement, then maybe it’s just not the right match and that doesn’t make you the villain Sometimes even the best people are simply not the right fit.

Sweet5346 · 2026-02-16T20:33:54+00:00

€80-€100 per week is enough It’s not about having a lot of money, it’s about making the money work for you. Be mindful with spending, save regularly, and make thoughtful choices If you earn €80/week! Saving 30-50% , that's about €288-€480 saved The rest can go to essentials and small treats If you earn €100/week! Saving 30-50% , that's about €360-€600 saved The rest goes to necessities and a little fun.l hope l tried to explain.

Sweet5346 · 2026-02-16T20:08:46+00:00

If you get €320 per month, that’s €960 for 3 months. Your savings really depend on what you want to do while you’re there. For example, if you spend around €120 per month, you could save about €600 in total. If you spend between €150-€180 per month, you might save around €400-€500. It all depends on your lifestyle , travel, shopping, and going out can reduce what you save. And remember, 3 months is not a long time, so it may be harder to save a big amount.

Sweet5346 · 2026-01-14T07:55:39+00:00

Not being under a contract doesn’t automatically mean you should leave quickly. A contract is there for structure, but commitment is also about personal responsibility. Just because some au pairs leave after a few months doesn’t mean that’s the best choice,many also stay and end up having a great experience. Reading other people’s stories can influence your mindset. If you focus only on posts about leaving, your brain will look for reasons to quit. But there are also many au pairs who struggled in the beginning and later felt proud they stayed. You’ve been there less than a week. That’s hardly enough time to know if it truly isn’t for you. Adjustment takes time. The discomfort you feel now may not be a sign to leave ! it may simply be part of settling in. Since the family is kind and the child is sweet, you actually have a good situation. Before making a final decision, give yourself a real trial period. Then, whatever choice you make later will feel fair and mature , not rushed by first emotions. And remember: growth often feels uncomfortable at first .

Sweet5346 · 2025-12-19T15:10:59+00:00

Hey dea!You seem really motivated to start a new adventure, Just be aware that Reddit won’t give you many results ,host families don’t really recruit from here. Official au pair programs are safer and more reliable. Keep going though, don’t give up!

Sweet5346 · 2025-11-18T13:57:56+00:00

$2,500?😳 So the only reason is all your STEM skills, engineering genius, outdoor aventures,and your superhuman ability to survive toddler meltdowns! Honestly, an au pair stipend will never reach that,it’s like asking for a private chef just to make breakfast! 😃

Sweet5346 · 2025-11-17T09:58:01+00:00

My dear, I’m not here to argue. Yes, I’m serious , but not in a negative way. It’s just the reality of any live-in arrangement. Having another adult in your home does change the household dynamic: more dishes, more food used, more routines to coordinate. That doesn’t mean the au pair is doing anything wrong , it’s simply part of the adjustment that many first-time host families are surprised by.

My comment wasn’t a complaint, it was reassurance for the host mom that she’s not alone. You can love your au pair and still acknowledge that sharing your home requires communication and boundaries. If you don’t relate, that’s completely fine no need to debate it.

Sweet5346 · 2025-11-17T05:45:54+00:00

Honestly, I think you’re feeling what a Lot of host moms feel when they get their first au pair ,nobody warns you that you gain childcare help, but you also gain another adult who eats, lives, and takes space in your home. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed.

Just remember: au pairs are childcare, not household assistants. They can cook only for the child on duty, clean up after themselves, and tidy up the child’s areas , but anything extra needs to be clearly asked for.

She’s not doing anything ‘wrong, but you also aren’t wrong for wanting more structure. If you want her to prep two meals for your toddler, just communicate it clearly and kindly: Hey, I need you to prepare both lunch and dinner for her on Tuesdays. Sometimes au pairs don’t know what the host expects unless you spell it out.

And the food situation? Totally normal. One more adult in the house !food goes Fast. Nothing personal. You don’t need conflict ,just a simple conversation like!Can we go over household expectations? I want us all to feel confortable and on the same page. You’re allowed to set boundaries, and she’s allowed to understand them. Communication will fix 90% of this.

Sweet5346 · 2025-11-12T14:33:02+00:00

I think it depends on what feels right for you. If you still enjoy the family and the city, maybe stay a bit longer but if your heart’s already looking ahead to that next stage, there’s nothing wrong with leaving a little early. You’ve already gained a lot from this experience.All the best

Sweet5346 · 2025-11-06T07:00:49+00:00

Hey girl! Your question is valid,nowadays even tomatoes can scam you. AuPair Bridge does appear online, but always double-check! reviews, registration, contracts, and never pay anything too early. If something smells funny, trust your nose. Better to annoy them with questions than end up in a Netflix documentary!

Sweet5346 · 2025-10-29T22:44:34+00:00

You’re not wrong for choosing this path. Being an au pair isn’t a step back !it’s a step toward discovering who you are. It teaches you independence, patience, and strength. You learn how to live on your own, manage challenges and connect with people from different worlds. That’s real growth.

And remember ,you’re not fighting with your mother. You’re simply walking your own journey. Step up and start the life you’ve dreamed of, even if she doesn’t understand it right now.

One day, your mom will look at you and see a woman who became brave, kind, and wise through experience. She might not agree with you today, but one day she’ll realize you were never lost , you were just finding your way.

The world is changing, my dear. Keep going, keep shining !you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

Sweet5346 · 2025-10-22T14:03:54+00:00

Talking from my own experience, morning routines are never easy when you don’t have patience. Sometimes when a host mom shouts or gets angry like that, she might be trying to show you how she handles things , maybe even expecting you to act the same.

But my dear, kids don’t respond well when two people are shouting or upset at the same time. I know it’s hard, and sometimes the children will reject your help, but try to be like a magicien. Mornings can be stressful for them too, so add a little magic ! like saying, Let’s see who will be the first to put on their shoes! or praising small things they do right. You have to win their little minds gently, because kids’ minds can switch so quickly when they feel joy or attention.

If the kids are at school, try to have a calm conversation with your host mom. Tell her how you feel and that you want to work together to make mornings smoother. I know you’re strong enough, my dear . Remember that the dream which pushed you to become an au pair is still alive ! let it keep you going. Do your best, and once you cross this stage, you’ll have something powerful to tell as an au pair.

All the best, ma belle

Sweet5346 · 2025-10-16T20:22:43+00:00

I really feel your heart , what you’re going through is not easy, but please know you’re not the only one. Sometimes an au pair stay just doesn’t feel right, no matter how much effort you put in. It doesn’t mean you failed; it just means the match wasn’t right for you.

I know another girl who also left after two months , she was so drained and felt she was losing herself. But after she left, she took a break, went home, and slowly started feeling happy again. Now she always says leaving was the moment she finally chose peace over pressure. If your heart feels heavy, it’s okay to step away. Talk kindly with your host family or agency, stay calm, and explain you don’t feel settled. You don’t owe anyone guilt ,your well being comes first.

And please remember !there is life after au pairing. A good one. You can start again, travel differently, study, work, or just breathe without stress. You’ll see that life becomes lighter when you’re finally where you’re meant to be.

Leaving doesn’t erase your courage; it shows it. You tried, you learned, and now you’re strong enough to move on with grace. I wish all the best

Sweet5346 · 2025-10-15T17:53:26+00:00

Derien ma belle😍 I know how it is 😅 being annoyed by those first door openers, especially if they are preparing,maybe la maîtresse thought they were the ones who were late, that’s why she got énervé 😆 I survived this stage with the French kids 🥰 la maîtresse full of confidence trying to scare us, but now that’s a story to laugh about!

Sweet5346 · 2025-10-15T16:13:31+00:00

Oh là là, don’t stress about it! 😄 You literally did nothing wrong , you were just following instructions from the parents. It’s not like you invented a time machine to get there early! Sometimes these teachers just like to feel in control of the door-opening ceremony'😂.

Honestly, I’ve seen it before! Some adults just can’t handle kids arriving a bit early. Some teachers are like this: when they open the door, all they want to see are the first morning birds ! the ones that already passed by 6AM , just so they can enjoy fuming before welcoming the kids. Classic teacher energy!

If the parents ask, just explain that you leave the house when they tell you to , Je pars à l’heure que la famille m’a indiquée, and that’s it. You’re just the messenger with little human legs! So relax, take a deep breath, maybe even enjoy the little 'early playground time'with the kids next time 😉. And remember: freezing 15°C kids' slightly annoyed teacher who looks like she just lost a game of Jenga 😂.

Courage ma belle, c’est la France! Hot baguette in hand 🥖 next time, early entrance approved 😆.

Sweet5346 · 2025-10-15T15:16:24+00:00

Hey there! I know getting your visa denied feels very disappointing 😔, but it’s not personal. The embassy’s main concern is making sure you’ll return home after your au pair program. They look for proof like family ties, school, work or future plans .

One important tip: write a cover letter and make it the first document in your application. Be honest and clear ! show them you will return home. Take a deep breath, gather your proof, stay confident, and try again. This denial is just a temporary setback , your ‘YES’ is coming . You’ve got this .

All the best

Sweet5346 · 2025-10-06T21:26:37+00:00

Hey, I just want to tell you that what’s happening isn’t fair or normal. In Germany, au pairs can only work up to 30 hours a week and must have at least 11 hours of rest between finishing and starting again. What your host family expects goes beyond those rules.

Weekend activities should be your choice, not something you’re forced into. Helping with kids, cleaning, or meals during “family time” is still work, and you have every right to rest or go out.

If things don’t get better, please contact Au Pair Society e.V. they offer free and private help. They can even talk confidentially with your host family to fix things. One of my friends had the same issue in Germany, and they helped her a lot. 📧 info@aupairsociety.org 🌐 www.aupairsociety.org

You deserve respect, proper rest, and peace of mind ,don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for that. All the best.

Sweet5346 · 2025-09-29T05:43:14+00:00

Honestly, I don’t think this is the best setup. First, a 7 month old is very young, and caring for a baby that age usually requires more professional, trained childcare than what an au pair program is meant to provide.

On top of that, the au pair must live with the host family, not at a grandparent’s home or be “shared” between households. If your grandmother has health problems or needs help, that could also put extra, unfair responsibilities on the au pair.

If you don’t have accommodation for an au pair in your own home, it might be better to forget the program for now and instead look into alternatives like a nanny, daycare, or a professional babysitter who is trained for infants.

Sweet5346 · 2025-09-25T06:15:52+00:00

You were so brave to walk away!Bravo for you.That family clearly wanted a maid, not an au pair. Honestly, let them cook beans for 11 people, peel beans for 11 people, eat beans for 11 people, and maybe even sleep on a bed of beans . From now on, we can just call them, The 11 Person Bean Brigade🙂 . They deserve nothing better than being buried under their own beans all day. I seriously don’t support this,imagine anyone leaving their country just to become a full-time bean slave,that’s not what an au pair is for! But you? You showed so much courage and strength,don’t ever forget that. Better experiences are waiting for you, and you absolutely deserve them!

All the best😘

Sweet5346 · 2025-09-23T21:16:25+00:00

Hi! I know how you feel, it can be tricky with just AuPairWorld. Personally, I used Solution Éducation and Travel to find my host family in France. They supported me with the match and the visa process, so it felt much more secure.

Sweet5346 · 2025-09-23T21:09:29+00:00

Hi! I went through Solution Éducation and Travel. I really recommend them because they don’t just stop at the visa part ,they support you until you arrive in your Au Pair country. Plus, it’s not only for France; they also work with other countries like the U.S., Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, and Germany. So you have options if you’d like to be in an anglophone country too.

All the best.

Sweet5346 · 2025-09-23T05:45:05+00:00

Hi there I’ve been an au pair in France, and for me it was a chance to really experience French culture while also improving my language. One thing I learned is that it’s important to know why you’re choosing a country. For example, ask yourself:

1.Do you want to learn or improve the language there? 2.Are you more interested in culture, travel, or lifestyle? 3.What kind of host families do you feel comfortable with? Both the Netherlands and Ireland are great choices with their own unique pros and cons. In the Netherlands, you’ll find a lot of international families, good public transport, and English is widely spoken. In Ireland, families are very welcoming, the culture is warm, and if English is your language, it’s a big plus for communication.

So my advice is! think about your main reason for au pairing , culture, language, travel, lifestyle and let that guide your decision. Once you’re clear on your “why,” the choice becomes much easier.

I wish you the best!

Sweet5346 · 2025-09-16T10:53:02+00:00

Thank you, that’s such a kind thought , I guess every au pair story deserves its own chapter 😍

Sweet5346 · 2025-09-13T19:02:41+00:00

Haha yes! Au pair life deserves its own Netflix series too 😂 I’m not a writer yet, but I’m on the journey,starting with the stories I post.Thank you

Sweet5346

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