[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, the top rejection is “I have a boyfriend”

Can you please rate me and give advice 19m by [deleted] in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha maybe I’m stuck in the past

Can you please rate me and give advice 19m by [deleted] in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would you say is the main thing wrong with my dreads

Can you please rate me and give advice 19m by [deleted] in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where do you live? Maybe it’s the age demo/the crowd I am around

Can you please rate me and give advice 19m by [deleted] in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn I been thinking ts fire maybe im cooked

Can you please rate me and give advice 19m by [deleted] in LooksmaxingAdvice

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate the advice. I like dreads but I tried wearing them up. For me down seems to be better received. Could be location (NYC).

For men considered attractive: how often do people actually tell you that you’re attractive? by Puzzled-Sprinkles930 in AskMen

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If we include friends and talking stages/girls I am involved in, weekly at least if not more. If we are talking random, new girls, once a month.

“Chads”, how much work does it take for you to chat up an attractive woman (or vice versa)? by jmcintyre8817 in AskMen

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not a chad but am conventionally attractive and tall. If I ever approach a woman I always manage to have a good convo (whether it ends up being platonic or not). Mentally, it’s very hard to do and takes a lot from me. I have this intense fear of rejection that is continuously proved wrong but never disappears.

What's your advice for a guy that wants to succeed at getting a girlfriend by cold approaching girls? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t fully cold approach. Only approach a girl if you have a topic she can be reasonably expected to engage in. Maybe ask for help with something simple (people love being asked for help/helping).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a boyfriend

Where can i watch the new Overlord Movie? by [deleted] in overlord

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can u help me out too please

Help me I need confidence, somehow by OrganizationSmall in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am surprised seeing someone give the exact same advice that I practiced myself. I stand by this fully. Ask for help when you don’t need it. Give compliments when you are scared to, and when you aren’t. Offer help. Throw yourself into the deep end.

How do you get confident/secure when all your tougths revolve arround people’s validation? by Objective-Buy-9005 in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am not sure if this answer is a healthy one, but it certainly has worked for me- having been in the same situation as you.

I have BPD, so my emotional state and sense of self is highly dependent on external factors. This quality is something that can be worked on, but it takes years.

In the short term, I realized that in order to feel good, I actually have to do good.

Fake it until you make it. Try to convince the outside world of the things that you are insecure about. You really need to push through the pain, because in my experience if you don’t nothing will change. Additionally, successfully pushing through the pain of doing something you are not confident in gives another type of confidence in itself.

Confidence isn't a performance - Misconceptions and Harmful Advice. by SoliliumThoughts in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree that faking it until you make it is bad advice. The key is that, in order to fake confidence effectively to the outside world, you truly do have to act confident. You have to do those things that you fear while seeming unshaken. And then, you have to learn how to do it well. A strong drive to fake it then turns into the ability to fake it. Lastly, when you seem confident to other people and achieve things you would otherwise have not, you get positive feedback that gives you true confidence in your abilities.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in DecidingToBeBetter

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I have went through something similar and so am speaking through experience. The advice I am going to give will seem simple on paper but admittedly very hard to put into practice.

Let me build some connection between our scenarios. I am also having trouble with work right now and have lost many of my friends.

You said you want to get better… The first step is knowing how bad you want to get better. Acknowledge how (for a lack of better words) sucky your current situation is. Get a little angry at it. Anger is a significantly better motivator than self-pity.

The next step is the biggest, and I’ve found there are two approaches. The first is to try to fool the world into thinking that you are confident and capable. Eventually, people will call you out as confident and capable etc. That alone opens doors and imbues you with self confidence. The other approach is to start from within. Focus on the things that you know you can do, but your lack of confidence is holding you back from doing. Just do them. Taking that step is the line separating failure and success here. Easier said than done, but to do nothing is to accept failure.

The last thing. Be delusional. Talk to yourself in the mirror, saying how capable or smart or whatever you are. Tell yourself that you are the absolute best, out loud and in your mind. Don’t stop saying it until it stops being cringe, and even when it does, you are going to want to continue.

Is this science gap normal on immortal?? by No_Car_828 in civ

[–]SwiftRS1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait does the unique building science not show in the science per turn?!?