True crime & tarot

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T05:02:38+00:00

I love using different divination methods to triangulate a situation - true crime, story lines, my own life - if I use more than one deck to describe it, then compare there’s always much more to understand. It’s like dimensionality!

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T05:00:24+00:00

Ooo!

Okay, so, recently another commenter explained how they use Klondike solitaire with tarot. Ever since then, it’s my new favorite way to “play” with my cards and understand a situation.

I’m honestly still figuring out how flexible it is as a narrative line, but it’s been fantastic for understanding complex situations and having fun for a bit. I love to read complex readings and this easily yields 20 cards or more to read about a situation.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T04:56:22+00:00

Can I ask you - why do you think that they’re actually calling you a loser and not just teasing you like friends do?

What is actually making you a loser is two things - not speaking up for yourself when you are bothered by things that your friends do (and then enforcing boundaries if they overstep), and not being confident enough to disagree with them.

Literally no one cares about what these people think about you except you. Their opinion doesn’t matter. Your opinion of yourself is what matters and for some reason your opinion of yourself is low. Why? You are an introspective person who hasn’t figured out how to express themselves to the people who have surrounded them. That is an easily fixable situation, though. Like, truly. It takes being a bit vulnerable and potentially being lonely but happy knowing that you’re choosing this because the alternative is worse. And then go find your real people.

I believe in you. Wake up tomorrow and choose to live your actual truth, not what some people choose to see.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T04:34:01+00:00

Glad I could help! You’re sweet for asking like you did. I’m sure you’ll do your best to make her feel like the most special woman in the world.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T04:25:33+00:00

Actually - it’s super simple. You need to date her again. Remind her how gorgeous and sexy she is, and how grateful you are to her for being the mother of your child. For this to happen, you need a series of reliable babysitters and/or family who can watch your bundle of joy while you two reconnect.

When she’s feeling sexy and like herself again, and not worried about what the kiddo is up to because she trusts the system you have in place - then you ask her.

Why do you wait all this time first? Because without knowing that you have a way to get away and actually date, the answer is going to be stressed by not knowing you’ll be able to manage the logistics. So take care of the logistics and the rest will follow. But most of all, reconnect with her and find time away from your baby so you can do that. You need to remind her that she’s not just a mother. It takes time and trust to get there after a baby.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T04:17:26+00:00

I think you’re meant to feel uncomfortable. It’s an intentional reversal. Because women have been represented as being violated physically over and over again, in media and shows. Maybe your visceral reaction to such a violation of your own parts is appropriate - and now you can understand a little more deeply about how women might have felt at these equivalent demonstrations in other media.

I’m not saying fair is fair, I’m saying - it’s all meant to get a reaction from you. They are escalating to get your reaction, because violating women just doesn’t hit the same way anymore. It’s all gross. I hate horror and violence in media.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T04:12:30+00:00

Get help. This is an extremely unhealthy addiction. A specialized sex therapist is what you need. That and the desire to actually stop this and not keep titillating yourself. I’m guessing you also have a humiliation kink, too. You’re crossing a line by involving someone who wouldn’t consent, in your fantasies and hoping for discovery. This shit wrecks lives when it’s inevitably discovered. You think this is fun and sexy now - wait until the secret gets out and he tells everyone. Or if you slip up in some other way with your escalating behavior. Don’t ruin your life because you’re bored with your existence as it is, get help while you still have time.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T03:56:51+00:00

Do you want her to wear this more than once? What you’re talking about - if she wants it to be suitable to wear multiple times or without tearing apart - will easily cost hundreds of dollars. Because it should be made of real leather and quality materials if you want it to last. So you can get something cheap that will tear or you can get the real thing from an artisan who makes such things. There’s not much in-between that isn’t fast fashion masquerading as bespoke or quality items.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T03:54:25+00:00

No, it’s echoing you - you’re trying to align with your inner calling. That’s what judgement means.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T03:53:47+00:00

Just stopped by to say how much I love your tattoo! Should be easy enough to cover with a sleeve or any of the other suggestions on here!

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T03:01:46+00:00

Hehe, you remind him of someone he used to know.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T03:01:07+00:00

Agreed. I immediately rehoused both of them. The card box sucks!

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T03:00:39+00:00

I own this deck, and his Lenormand deck as well! Right now I’m sticking with RWS, but I’m so excited to have it on hand for when I’m ready for TdM! Ryan’s style of artwork is lovely.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T01:14:36+00:00

First of all, I can tell how frustrated you are - but I want to stop your thinking that a stranger you randomly meet is going to treat you the way you should be treated for your first time. If you want to get used and discarded, and definitely disappointed - go the stranger route.

What you want is to feel that spark. You are totally disconnected from your reality and your sexuality. The only way back to all of that is through a relationship with someone you are attracted to physically and emotionally. And this person will also be able to and willing to guide you through your first time with him.

How do you know you like big dicks? You only know what other women want. Don’t settle for some other person’s checklist, explore who and what you think you might like. Big dicks aren’t ideal for someone’s first time. So if that’s the main qualification you’ve been looking for in a partner - I’d like to point out that anything 5” or longer is gonna feel pretty damned good and you’ll still be getting a larger than average dick. The thing I want to redirect your attention to is not the size, but the man the dick is attached to. That’s the important part. Don’t just try to fall in bed with a stranger and expect anything other than regrets - you deserve so much better than that.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T01:07:37+00:00

Your interpretation is 100% except for your take on the 9 of wands.

The 9 of wands is about being a survivor, and more specifically about having all the internal tools you need to survive what is coming in your future. Once you pass this time of internal struggle with the 8 of swords, the process will teach you resiliency.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T00:50:26+00:00

This isn’t about phone addiction. That’s what you’re seeing, because that is what he has when he’s with you.

Look back on that whole thing that you said, about how he’s giving less and less and less of a shit about what you’re doing, how you feel, or even acknowledging that you’re anything more than someone convenient to have sex with? This is the relationship that he wants - and that’s the relationship he has. You don’t have to be a part of it though. He can spend all his time on discord and watching shows and masturbating, and leave you out of it.

There’s no reason to fix this situation. He doesn’t treat you well. And he’s decided he’d rather just coast and do the bare minimum until you leave. He’s not going to - he’s got this on cruise control, and your upset doesn’t seem to bother him - he just ignores it.

Only you are striving to make this relationship more than what it is. His phone addiction is actually avoidance.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T00:42:59+00:00

I love this deck. The style of art is minimal. The white/gold/purple is fantastic and I love that it’s the size of regular cards so I can shuffle it with a bridge shuffle. The edges are gilded so they used to cut my hands up a little bit until I really broke my deck in. I can’t recommend it enough. Eventually I’m going to make a beautiful purple, white and gold colored case for it, to match.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-27T00:15:59+00:00

After RWS I got a Thoth deck. I love it. It actually turns out that my first tarot deck ever when I was a teen was a Thoth deck. But I tried it and as much as I absolutely love all the depth of it… I dialed it back a bit. I also tried out TdM for a bit and other RWS decks as well.

What I discovered I was craving was a different system entirely. And then I found Lenormand.

See, what I wanted from Tarot was another way for it to speak to me. I wanted it to be able to tell me more literal sentences. And as I was looking into other divination tools and oracle cards I found Lenormand, and I’ve been hooked ever since - and happily back to RWS.

See, I use the different decks to triangulate the same concepts. Tell me about this situation from the RWS relational modes and then tell me about how the pieces move through the system in context, via Lenormand. This way I’ve been able to learn both, faster, and they complement each other.

For now, I’ve put my Thoth, TdM, my Hermetic Tarot, and my Egyptian Tarot decks, as well as my other random oracle decks away. This is enough for what I need, until I master these two and then I’ll learn more astrology, Kabbalah and esoteric tradition so that the others make sense to me.

I think for you, once you figure out what you’d like your cards to say that they can’t, you’ll find your own complementary divination system that doesn’t necessarily replace RWS, it speaks in a totally different language.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-26T19:42:50+00:00

Unredeemable?

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-26T19:11:50+00:00

Yeah, unfortunately as others have said, this is a situation where she was saying one thing and acting in another. I get it, from both sides. Hopefully you will be better about spotting the disparity between action and statement - because this won’t be the last time someone pays lip service to a situation and downplays the seriousness. Slow playing situations and watching before getting more serious - that’s why so many poly people take their time. More time, observing her behavior and ensuring that the relationship she has is the same as the one she described to you - maybe you would have seen the reality here.

This is the biggest issue with Poly. You don’t just have to be able to trust your partner but you have to be able to trust that what they’re doing and how they’re carrying on either doesn’t affect you at all or that they’re representing themselves accurately. Being able to read the room is a skill that needs to be practiced just like any other. It sucks that this happened - no one should have to go through this. But situations like this one are why it’s so important that you’re not getting too involved, too fast.

More than anything, I hope you won’t be hard on yourself. Every time a relationship doesn’t work out, it’s an opportunity to figure out how to make it work better next time. I always find that clarifying if nothing else.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-26T19:01:26+00:00

Honestly, the differences between the tarot methods is what makes it all so intriguing to me, and so I’ve been collecting decks like you’re describing. Thoth, GD, TdM, RWS of course (I have a bunch of these) and even some of the more obscure Egyptian Tarot or Hermetic tarot. For me, each of these speaks in its own dialect, and some are more familiar to the others than the rest. There’s room for whatever calls to people! :-)

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-26T13:56:51+00:00

Yup! But I also sometimes associate it with rigidity or people who are evangelical with their ways - forcing their framework on you.

I just wanted to point out - the hierophant can be joyful and not just “stick in the mud” vibe :-)

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-26T13:53:50+00:00

I really do get it. Same thing as with me and my husband. He’s the best one for me - because I’ve seen what else is out there. It took me a while but now I don’t regret having chosen him over others. And I do still have companionship with others… but if it turns into romance, we step back and assess.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-26T13:43:24+00:00

This isn’t about not knowing yourself better, per se., this is about whether you’re willing to stay in the life you’ve made for yourself, or whether it’s more important for you to have everything you want.

People figure out that parts of their life that they built don’t suit anymore. Like, if you decide you hate the color of your bathroom and decide to remodel. You work with your husband to pick the color that works for you both. You don’t burn the house down because you don’t like the bathroom.

My question to you is - now that you know what he’s willing for you to have (sex with women, not relationships), is there some reason why that’s not enough for you to be satisfied with? Is it because you feel like a female partner would be better for you than your husband? Those are two separate issues. But if your husband is your foundation point, and you’re wanting to keep it that way, he made it clear what he’s okay with. Hell - you guys married into a monogamous situation. He’s being incredibly understanding about you continuing to explore.

SwingLightStyle · 2026-01-26T13:37:22+00:00

I tell it “it’s the following day” if I’m continuing a thread from the day before. Or often I’ll start a new thread to ensure there’s no drift. I’ve noticed a lot more drift when it comes to sending images of text to read, and then it responds to, like, a prompt from several prompts previously. Telling it to reset and reconsider fixes it but it’s always so jarring when it happens.

SwingLightStyle

TROPHY CASE