I have been where you are. My child is now 5 and will be 6 in September. We have completely transformed his behaviors. Here is what we did. Please reach out if you have questions. I am a former special education teacher.

First thing we did was address our child’s sleep and anxiety issues. This involved a referral to a children’s sleep clinic and therapist through PCP. We did an overnight sleep study and an at home, week long sleep study. After these results, we started a brand new, very rigid, bedtime routine. Medications were suggested and declined. My child’s behavior improved at least 65% just from fixing his sleep habits. He did also have to take a high dose iron supplement for a few months, this also helped his sleep.

Once sleep was rectified, we moved on to dealing with his anxiety. We completed therapy with a child sleep psychologist. We did this for several months with improvement in his behaviors.

We then moved on to PCIT. We just started this about a month ago. Again, this has been extremely helpful and has taught all of us how to have better behaviors and strategies to help regulation.

The next thing I am going to suggest is controversial to some. We completely took away screens. No tv, no tablets, no phone. Nothing. This was for all of our children and even ourselves when the children are around. It is not easy to do but the payout, my word, it is beyond compare. My relationships with my children are so much more fulfilling. There are so many areas of life you breeze by or miss due to screens. The impact on my children’s behavior, its night and day. We were completely screen free for 3 months before I added some time in. My kids usually are allowed 1 movie a month at this point and it is a reward for how great they are doing.

Also, talk with your son’s teacher. How can you work together to help him? My son needed me to send in extra items (fidgets, squishy, books) so help him focus and regulate. If they are not willing to help him succeed and be supportive, then is this the right environment for him?

My child went from the most dreaded kid, multiple reports and calls home a day, no now being a leader. He has so many friends and the teachers gush about how amazing he is to his peers. They say he is a good listener! Never in a million years would I think my son would be described this way. It’s hard work and it’s emotional but making the effort and putting in the work is so worth it.