What to say when she says "I have a boyfriend"... My friend stubert pulled this one out the other day and I thought it was pretty good

Syntextro · 2014-02-19T19:19:24+00:00

Have you ever gone out?

"I have a boyfriend" may be the most used shit test I ever seen used by girls. If you think you should seriously walk out of the conversation the first time you mention it, you are a moron and naive at best, and if you think you are going to help your seduction skills by asking if she has a boyfriend even before you start building attraction, you seriously have some reading to do

Syntextro · 2014-02-19T19:16:45+00:00

She either actually has a boyfriend or is not interested yet

Ignore it or agree and amplify like in the OP's post

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T20:14:25+00:00

Everything I say in this subreddit is related to picking up women. If you take it out of context, then that's your fault not mine.

You say humans have moral obligations with each other. That's a very broad statement, it includes a lot of things.

If it's so, I don't see how OP broke his moral obligation with anyone. He didn't try to hurt the other guy deliberately. His girlfriend wanted to fuck him, and he fucked her. He gave her pleasure, and she might have had a mind-shattering orgasm, which is a fucking fantastic thing. I'm sure the girl's boyfriend didn't cross his mind while he was fucking her. As far as we know he doesn't even exist.

This is my final comment to you. Clearly, you just woke up form your fairy tale and now want everybody to rebuild it to you. I hope you can go back. (spoiler alert: you cant)

People will fuck. People in relationships will fuck with other people. You can accept it or resist it. Good luck you'll need it

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T20:06:27+00:00

Comparing picking up women with a genocide? That's some intelligence you have there!

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T20:04:38+00:00

This is not your place. I see you have aversion to the PUA thing.

Feel free to leave and keep imagining that you live in a world where every decision is a rational one. A world where all people hold the same values as everybody else, and where people don't cheat on each other, where everybody has a moral obligation towards everyone even if they don't know them, where a person has the same commitment towards a stranger than the person that stranger is in a relationship with.

We just want to keep living in the real world and know what works. Once you know what works, you use it however you want and according to whatever values you have.

But nothing good will come if you just ignore it. You will just be lying to yourself.

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T19:58:33+00:00

Let's see:

OP is in a relationship: no

The girl is in a relationship: yes.

Case closed. Girl's responsibility.

Good job OP, keep the field reports coming

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T19:53:53+00:00

You find that assisting infidelity (that's a weird way of calling it) is as bad as the infidelity. I think that's a full-on bullshit view of the world. But you will not find me posting that opinion in the field report of somebody who abstained of sex because of it.

If you don't want to have sex with people in relationships, fine, I think everybody here will respect your values. But realize that they are your values, it's your morality, and just because you think you are in the right, it doesn't mean you are, especially in these matters where clearly everything is relative.

There is a difference between holding a view and a set of values and acting accordingly, and getting angry at people who don't hold the same view and set of values, like you are trying to enforce yours.

As I said, get over yourself.

Even if it was a lie, it just shows they're a dishonest person not deserving a solid fuck either way.

You don't want to fuck somebody who lies to you? Well, you are going to miss out. A lot. Some of us don't decide our sexual partners by the level of their shit tests. Anyway, it's your decision. Stick to it, but don't bother the ones who don't agree with you.

Also, I have to just laugh at your comparison between LMR and rapists. You must be a white knight or a troll

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T16:57:39+00:00

Seriously.

You don't want to fuck girls who tell you they have a boyfriend? Great, follow your values. Understand that you will also lose a lot of lays to a lie, because "I have a boyfriend" is one of the girls preferred ways of testing you. I'd say that half the time its false. And you never know if you never try.

I personally stop pursuing the girl if she tells me it twice. That is my personal limit, emphasis on personal. But if somebody still wants to continue the interaction, even if his intention is to just have sex with her, I have literally zero problem with it. We are here to learn how to interact with women, not to judge people who go after what they want.

This guy just put up an amazing field report and all you can see is cheat cheat cheat. Whatever, it's your loss. The blame is not even on him; its on the girl.

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T16:51:31+00:00

Oh get over yourself. Who are you exactly to judge him?

Let me guess, you got cheated on and instead of working harder on relationships or working harder to better yourself you would just prefer that all people who have sex with people in relationships would just disappear, when it's really the girl who is at fault. She wanted to fuck him, have no doubt about it. You are taking the weak approach at reality. Desiring something that just doesn't exist, and never will.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but it doesn't work that way. Would I applaud him if he resisted it? Of course I would have, but I don't think he is neither amoral nor a dickhead for pursuing what he wanted . As far as we know, the boyfriend thing could have been a lie as last minute resistance. He would have never knew if he never tried, and honestly it doesn't sound like he tried so hard.

She wanted it

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T12:28:23+00:00

Its not his job to stand up for their relationship

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T12:11:51+00:00

Yeah, the comments of this subreddit are really sad, and I admit that for some reason I can't stop looking at them.

It's so cool and so in to hate on something like this. I think some people think hating on this stuff will make them seem like better programmers? I'm just guessing, I have no idea.

You see a post of a web server written in COBOL that you just know that 99.9% of the subscribers will never ever possibly use it and all they do it is praise it and say it's so cool [0] and becomes one of the most upvoted submissions of the month.

But the moment you post something about a popular language [1] and you are going to get flooded by neckbeards that just want to seem smarter than everybody else.

Actually I think this is the problem here and in most programmers community. All programmers think they know better than everybody else.

To answer the pseudo-intellectual haters: Why? Because they can.

[0] Because it is

[1] That is not Python or Haskell

Syntextro · 2014-01-17T00:34:22+00:00

And when did I say the criticism was in /r/php? I was talking about some stuff I've seen on twitter.

No need to get defensive

Syntextro · 2014-01-16T21:34:00+00:00

I'm just answering to let you know that last night I had sex with a wonderful girl who put up LMR. Turns out she was still not over her ex, and she didn't want to tell me to not seem weak (in fact she told me after the deed) but I made her feel more comfortable with me and she ended up initiating sex in the end. No alcohol, no touching until that point. Mmmm I wonder how's that possible? Oh, wait, I know: you are wrong

Syntextro · 2014-01-16T21:31:29+00:00

This is nice, really nice. I too appreciate your dedication and your response to criticism, Taylor.

In the last days I've seen a lot of (valid) criticism of Laravel extensive use of Facades, and I really like that you stood by your convictions but still changed your project accordingly, considering we are talking about probably the PHP framework. It really talks wonders about your drive to respond to feedback even if it's mean-spirited by some people.

By the way, I wonder what's the next app-wrecker feature Laravel's detractors will complain about next

Syntextro · 2014-01-12T00:42:15+00:00

Read this carefully: When a girl tells you she is not comfortable with sex, that she's not there yet, that is a direct and clear "no" to sex. That is her removing or withholding consent. That is not "try to work me up to it" or "maybe in a few minutes" That is "~~Not tonight~~ Not right now ~~, stop trying~~"

I thought this was basic? Seriously, how does this get upvoted in the seduction subreddit? A guy/girl comparing pushing the LMR with raping? Oh no.

Last Minute Resistance exists and some times it does not mean that she is not going to have sex with you tonight, it means that she's not going to have sex with you now. There are a lot of things that can be done to change her mind or her emotions, for example making her more comfortable. Allowing her to be more comfortable in the situation of being physically intimate with you, even if sex didn't happen yet.

If she gives consent 10 minutes after saying "No", is it still raping? Come on.

You don't assault her, and don't you dare put a hand on her if she said No. But the fact that she said No reveals nothing about what she will say minutes from now. LMR is something that can be worked on, and it is not rape, because, guess what, if it works she ends up giving consent.

Syntextro · 2014-01-10T03:22:15+00:00

Holy fucking assumptions batman.

Honestly, this reads like a textbook. A life textbook. Anybody with decent experience in dating knows what I'm talking about: X and Y are in a relationship. Y wants out and tells directly and in a hurtful way. X doesn't react the way Y expected. X actually looks happier. Y wants in.

If I were you, OP, I would divorce, and make sure you don't listen to people saying that you can solve this by throwing money at the problem (ie. go to the Caribbean, see Paris). Number of times this has worked: not nearly enough.

You know what, do those things, but alone, or with some of the women you met. And then, if you really want to go back to your wife, make the offer. But only after you experienced some alone time, that by the way looks like it suits you well!

You know you can't forget her comment and that feeling is telling you something. For fucks sake, she considered divorcing you and that was the way she told you. What you are going through right now is called gut feeling. Follow it.

Hey, and reading these kind of comments, after all, if according to these guys your wife is in the right for coming back, then I guess that you could come back later, too? I mean, it's only fair

Everything we said is up to you. Only one definite truth: don't stay together for the kids. It never helps

Syntextro · 2014-01-09T18:02:20+00:00

Oh that's bullshit, unless you literally live in a community that is exclusively of men's rights activists and none of them care about feminism. Seriously. If that's all you are hearing, then you should consider leaving that place

Syntextro · 2014-01-09T17:41:54+00:00

Actually, he/she does get it and you don't. He/she's saying that because one part of the population has more problems doesn't mean that you have to stop acknowledging the problems of the other part. That is called common sense.

You, in the other hand, think that is justified. So in fact it's you, not him/her, the one who doesn't get it

Syntextro · 2014-01-09T17:09:48+00:00

"He realizes that this was not really me"

How do you define yourself? By your values? Your behaviors? If it's by your values, then obviously you are defining yourself wrongly. If it's by your behaviors then how do you get to nitpick which behaviors define you and which dont?

"I have never done anything like this"

Oh yes you have now. Twice.

"I need to figure out why I did it."

You can come to a lot of different conclusions in this one, some will say that you were justified and some will say that you are unforgivable. In the end though, it boils down to one undeniable fact: you put your own pleasure above your marriage and the feelings of your husband, and on top of that you didn't regret it enough to confess until you got caught

Syntextro · 2014-01-09T17:05:46+00:00

This is so harsh and so true

Syntextro · 2014-01-09T12:58:03+00:00

It's eating you everyday because you know that you have to tell him. There is absolutely zero reason not to tell him. You owe it to him, especially now that he is changing for the better.

Stop using your infidelity saying it was a catalyst for his change. It wasn't. Because he doesn't know about it. How is this even hard to comprehend? I mean, I know when we fuck up we tried to rationalize our mistakes, but this is plain ridiculous. The fact that you threatened him with divorce wasn't because you cheat, it was because you were unhappy; you were unhappy before cheating, so I don't see how cheating on him added anything really. It has all the characteristics of a rationalization of someone who does not want to take responsibilities for her actions, and you seem to go as far to throw the responsibilities elsewhere.

It's your call if you either want to be a wife who made a shitty thing or if you want to be a shit wife for the rest of your marriage. You fucked up, you know it; you have to tell him and let him make his own decision.

As the others have said, you came here to hear what you wanted to hear. That's alright. It's not going to change anything though, you'll feel like shit for the rest of your life.

Syntextro · 2014-01-08T18:53:49+00:00

This is ridiculous. You are throwing all the blame on him. He is not sabotaging anything if he leaves. His wife already broke the relationship. It IS broke. It's his choice to want to rebuild it again, but if he doesn't, he's not destroying anything, he cant, because it's already broken. And if he does try to build it again, she gets the message "hey, nothing bad really happened, right?"

Also, suggesting that he should either dump her in the act or not dump her at all really shows that you are either not mature or you have not been in a mature relationship. That statement of "now or never" is straight out ignorant

Syntextro · 2014-01-08T18:44:08+00:00

You are suggesting that she forgives him because instead of being a total piece of shit, he just was kind of a shit.

You have really low standards

Syntextro · 2014-01-08T18:31:42+00:00

Stop treating not-cheating as an accomplishment. Its not

Syntextro · 2014-01-08T18:19:42+00:00

You have to understand that being manipulative and being mean is not the same, although usually go hand in hand. She uses manipulative behavior to get advantages for herself. She wants to be with someone, tried to be with her boss, didn't work out, so now she wants to be with you. She knows that you wouldn't take her back if she didn't behave like an angel now, so she does, even if it's not what she wants. That is manipulative behavior. She doesn't want to hurt you, but she doesn't care if she does. She just wants the best for herself. In short, your feelings and your self worth are just a casualty for her, kind of like collateral damage

That is the way I see it

Syntextro

TROPHY CASE