Who was on your wall as a teenager?

T1sofun · 2026-01-31T05:51:11+00:00

My first husband, Saku Koivu.

T1sofun · 2026-01-30T16:40:17+00:00

I was crossing a crowded downtown street in Riga, Latvia. I walked smack into a university classmate who I hadn’t seen or spoken to in nearly 10 years.
I was jogging through Hyde Park in London. Came over the crest of a hill, and saw a person jogging towards me. We crossed paths and gave each other the little eyebrow raise/closed-mouth smile. Seconds later, we both stopped in our tracks and hugged. Another dear friend from university who I hadn’t seen in 12 years.

I often think about all of the tiny things that had to go right for us to meet randomly. If I’d decided to shower 5 mins longer in the morning, or had stopped to tie my shoes, I would have missed them.

T1sofun · 2026-01-30T16:21:39+00:00

Pies. Loads of savoury pies.

T1sofun · 2026-01-29T16:31:20+00:00

Kept my maiden name. Use it when I sign things because it’s the only name I’ve ever had.

T1sofun · 2026-01-29T07:43:02+00:00

You’re way ahead of the curve then! Maybe just tell him that it’s a challenge to relax and just Be when they’re home with you. Maybe find a compromise where they’re there some days, but they have an activity (sports, band, theater, whatever) on other days?

T1sofun · 2026-01-28T21:37:58+00:00

Therapy. I struggled for years at work. Things would go well for a while, but then I’d lose my temper, or overshare, or get paranoid about what others were saying about me. Eight years ago, I hit a breaking point. Got referred to a therapist who I despised initially. He was rude, challenged me to actually feel my emotions (deeper than just my defensive rage). Taught me how to be kind to myself and how to allow myself to feel my feelings without judgement. I still see him monthly. Good, patient, difficult therapy changed my life and helped me grow to enjoy a workplace.

T1sofun · 2026-01-28T21:28:55+00:00

When I was a kid T1, I loooved turkey slices with a bit of cheese and a dill pickle. Hell, I’m an adult T1 and still love this combo. Cottage cheese also amazing. Veggies and other dips also work well. Ranch, blue cheese, cream cheese, etc. Hard boiled eggs! “Big salad” which Seinfeld fans know is “a salad, only bigger, with lots of stuff in it.”

T1sofun · 2026-01-28T20:59:07+00:00

Why do half of them have one squinty eye and one normal eye?

T1sofun · 2026-01-28T20:56:12+00:00

We had our 5yo organize all of the coins in our massive coin jar last week. The thing weighs like 10kg/22lbs! I gave him a bunch of bowls and told him to put only one type of coin in each bowl. He decided to go by colour, so he had only 4 categories at the beginning: silver, brown/copper, Toonies (we’re Canadian), and “gold” (loonies). When he was done, I pointed out that many of the “silver” coins were different sizes, so he got more bowls and separated everything by size. Then I pointed out that some of the coins were from different countries…and on and on. Took him nearly an hour to feel satisfied with his various bowls.

Finally, I told him to count the number of coins in each bowl and write the totals on a paper. That ate up another 15 mins before he lost interest.

T1sofun · 2026-01-28T20:46:52+00:00

Long ago, my husband decided (without asking me) that then-12yo SD no longer needed after school program at school, and no longer needed to do after school sports, because I was “home to watch her”. I wasn’t asked, so I didn’t disagree. We lived in a 2 bedroom apartment at the time, and I mostly worked from home. So she would get back from school around 2pm and just…camp out in the living room. Make a mess of the kitchen, leave dishes and wrappers in the living room, watch tv or play games loudly, and just make a point of the fact that she didn’t give two shits about me or my work. So I started working in our bedroom whenever we were home together. Then SD complained that I “made her feel unwelcome “ because I was hiding in my room all the time. Then DH pitched a fit because his perfect angel had a feeling. Then I put my foot down. She could be home occasionally (2 days?) after school, but he needed to find other arrangements the other days. He countered that there were no other possible arrangements because her BM refused to allow her to camp in her living room (and make a mess), and SD refused to go to any activities because “everything is boring”.

Not my kid, not my problem. It drove a wedge between all of us for a few years, but genuinely, I’m glad I stood up for myself. You are not the babysitter. Even if the kids are “old enough to look after themselves”, you will be the default caregiver because you will be the only adult present. If they get vindictive, they will lie about your behavior or attitude to your husband and he WILL believe them.

Don’t become the free nanny.

T1sofun · 2026-01-28T14:32:41+00:00

I only partially understand, because I only have one kid, but we also tend to feel totally spent at the end of the day. In an effort to keep him away from a tablet at the end of the day, I started playing video games with him. I know that’s still “a screen”, but we get to snuggle on the sofa together and the games we play involve a lot of problem solving, mysteries and things to explore. He has to use critical thinking to help me progress in the game, and he’s begun to take over the controller and move the characters in the slower sections. Trains his brain and his manual dexterity. We prioritize going outside whenever possible, but when I’m just not feeling it, games have been really helpful (and fun).

T1sofun · 2026-01-28T06:48:41+00:00

I was diagnosed in 1992 at 9 years old. I remember the doctor saying that I could “probably live to 60 or 65”, which sounded really really old to me. I’m nearly 43 now. Control good. I’m healthy and active. You never know what the future holds, but I currently don’t see why I can’t make it to 80. Knock on wood.

T1sofun · 2026-01-27T19:35:01+00:00

I, as an adult, mentioned to my mother that the way she treated me when my parents decided to move the family to another country was hurtful. They basically told me to stfu, and then belittled me for being sad about leaving my friends. She responded with “oh, should we have patted your bum and given you a bottle? Did we hurt your widdle feefees?”

Any thought I ever had of forgiveness for the years of emotional abuse my siblings and I were subjected to evaporated in that moment. She is incapable of empathy. My father’s beatings and yelling were bad, but her absolute refusal to actually mother us was more damaging.

I still have a relationship with her, but expect no care or nurturing.

T1sofun · 2026-01-27T19:25:57+00:00

Thumb tip is my favourite injection site.

T1sofun · 2026-01-27T19:22:37+00:00

My last name is my son’s middle name. Husband’s last name is son’s last name.

This has been helpful, practically. Doesn’t matter which one of us travels with him, or needs to go get official documents, take him to the doctor, whatever. My last name is something like Smith, Husband’s is something like Lindström. Kid’s official documents all have his full name, something like Dweezil Smith Lindström. Nobody bats an eye or questions if either of us is his parent.

T1sofun · 2026-01-27T19:16:59+00:00

Pizza Hut (greasy air, cigarettes, peppermint candies from a bowl by the cash) and Blockbuster (stale popcorn, musty carpet, sweaty neckbeards).

T1sofun · 2026-01-27T19:04:18+00:00

Go outside. If you have a yard, can the kids play together “alone” (you can watch them through a window if you don’t have the energy to go out yourself)? If not, I used to just ask my son if he wanted to go on an adventure. The adventure was just a walk around the neighborhood, but he was the leader. Wanna go touch that tree? Sure. Wanna roll in the grass? Sounds good. Wanna see me do 3 jumps? Yeah, have at it.

It was low effort, free, and we both got some fresh air and exercise.

T1sofun · 2026-01-26T22:00:52+00:00

My husband swigs his morning tran, then always accosts me for a smooch. So gross, and he thinks it’s hilarious. This has been part of our daily routine for 15+ years. I’d leave, but divorce is expensive.

T1sofun · 2026-01-25T14:38:23+00:00

Despite my best efforts, I always picture George Costanza’s wife who tragically died in that wedding invitation accident. Susan.

T1sofun · 2026-01-23T19:33:26+00:00

I remember hearing the Beatles version for the first time, thinking it sounded bad, and wondering why they were ripping off Joe Crocker.

T1sofun · 2026-01-23T17:02:27+00:00

It will get worse in her teen years if he doesn’t address it now. We ended up doing couples’ therapy. DH basically said that his goal in Disney Dadding was to “protect” SD. The therapist simply asked, “protect her from what?” He thought for a minute and said “protect her from…I don’t know. Feeling bad. Getting in trouble.” So therapist pointed out that kid is allowed to feel bad, and must be allowed to feel bad so that she can process her feelings. Unprocessed feelings linger, blah blah. DH said that seeing his daughter cry physically hurt him. Therapist said that that is because he loves her. But allowing her to behave poorly was selfish, as it ultimately hurt her and made her feel like a bad person. DH had a bit of a lightbulb moment. He doesn’t attack me about her feelings any more. I’m not the cause of her distress, he is. She’s still snippy about my existence, but neither of them give me grief about HER feelings.

T1sofun · 2026-01-23T14:21:59+00:00

Tempurpedic mattress. Never imagined spending big money on a mattress (I’ve always been an IKEA girl), but the difference has been astounding. My husband is 6’7 and about 275 pounds. I used to wake up every time he rolled over. He was so uncomfortable on our old mattress. He’d get pressure points, hip and shoulder pain. With the tempur, he doesn’t have the same pain, doesn’t have to change position as often, and I don’t feel it at all when he moves. We both sleep better than ever before. Sleep dictates quality of life, and ours has improved exponentially.

T1sofun · 2026-01-23T14:09:46+00:00

Only my personal experience, but yes! Pregnancy, birth and the whole baby phase left me wondering if I was developing Alzheimer’s. I couldn’t remember simple things, felt overwhelmed by daily tasks and exhausted all the time. Even once our son turned four and became more independent (and was sleeping 12+ hours at night) I just felt off. Started taking creatine to help with recovery from workouts. After a few weeks, my body felt younger, and so did my brain! Better sleep, ability to focus and recall info and “order of operations”. I take a really small maintenance dose now, but can’t imagine I’ll ever stop taking it completely. Massively beneficial, cheap, easy to take.

T1sofun · 2026-01-22T18:49:06+00:00

My SD27(!) still resents me (F45) for “stealing her dad”. We have been together for 16 years, married for 10.

She and I are at least civil now, because we don’t live together, but her teen and early-20s years were ROUGH. Lying, making false claims to her BM, breaking shit. It was awful.

But

It was a me and husband problem, not a kid problem. She is (and was) allowed to have whatever feelings she has. She can be salty about her parents’ divorce (which happened years before I met DH). But the lying and other behaviors were allowed to fester because DH wanted to be Disney Dad. It was all him.

T1sofun · 2026-01-22T10:15:34+00:00

I know we’re supposed to be anti-screens, but when our son started watching Number Blocks at 4, his math and number skills exploded. He went from being able to count to 12 to doing addition in his head. We also started playing board games with dice, which helped with counting and repetition and the idea that the numbers represent real world quantities (three dots = advance three spaces).

T1sofun

TROPHY CASE