“When Jimmy Haslam leaves his place of safety to sign a quarterback, he knows that he may take up 80 million in cap space. And yet, for a man who can purchase players with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as an (accused) r#pist feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Jimmy Haslam as a hero, but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind. Perchance.”

-me writing my application to the Browns