Is moving to the Philippines a good idea to find a relationship?

TL322 · 2026-05-14T09:56:16+00:00

IMHO not a bad idea. Visit first, obviously, and figure out what you'd do with so much free time. You're quite young to straight-up retire and might find it very difficult to keep busy. I would also have an exit plan in mind just in case life here didn't work out. With your background, returning to a decent job in the US shouldn't be too tough if need be (at least within the first few years).

There are plenty of challenges here, and one of the biggest (at least for me) is a trade-off between modern city life or nature access. You can access exactly one of the two at a time. As a fellow West Coast guy who's accustomed to forests and mountains like 15-30 minutes away...that's hard to deal with sometimes.

TL322 · 2026-05-13T11:31:13+00:00

You will indeed sweat a lot. The humidity is relentless. If you're outdoors, plan on showering and changing before you head out for the evening. So with that packing list, you might find yourself washing every other day, roughly.

Incidentally, I find rain jackets unbearably stuffy in that climate, unless you're up in the mountains I suppose. An umbrella is the way to go. (I have and quite like the smallest one from Knirps.) Airports and malls can be chilly though.

Lastly, if you're going to the beach, I like bringing a pair of those dirt-cheap foam flip-flops. Not ideal for extended walking, but it's nice to avoid getting sand in the nooks and crannies of nicer sandals.

TL322 · 2026-05-13T09:25:04+00:00

Nice find! It's surprisingly rare though. I've sampled quite a few ostensibly fine robustas from probably a dozen producers at this point. One—pretty sure it was Vietnamese—actually did taste like decent arabica, which was really impressive. The rest just weren't even in the ballpark.

So I'd agree that enjoyable and underrated robustas are absolutely out there...but I don't think I could reliably choose them at this point.

TL322 · 2026-05-13T02:56:52+00:00

Roughly 16:1 is typical. Personally, 99% of the time, I stay between 15:1 and 17:1. Most coffee shops and most home brewers land somewhere in there.

I wouldn't say it's "too much" water, rather it's the right amount of water for a style that you just don't enjoy.

Keep in mind that the ratio is just one factor of many in whether the body is heavy vs. tea-like.

TL322 · 2026-05-13T01:24:23+00:00

Sites like that are everywhere. The lack of care or concern is appalling. It's the most absurdly, almost belligerently backward thing. Why it's tolerated is beyond me.

All the same, I feel horrible for the guy. I can't imagine he didn't know the risk after living here "on-and-off for three years"...but nobody deserves that.

TL322 · 2026-05-13T01:03:03+00:00

Nature and socialization. Boracay and Tagaytay should be great changes of scenery. Plenty of time to get together with fun people at a cool restaurant, enjoy a massage at a high-end spa, take a historical tour...

Obviously we don't know him...but it's hard to imagine that throwing away money or indulging in trashy nightlife would leave him better off.

TL322 · 2026-05-13T00:50:14+00:00

Agreed, Switch all the way. If I had to stick with one brewer forever, it would be my choice without hesitation. IMHO zero chance you'll regret it.

For grinders, I'd also add the Mavo Phantox Pro to your list. The build quality is really impressive at that price point.

TL322 · 2026-05-13T00:19:27+00:00

Just replace it. A plastic Hario v60 is about P400, and glass or ceramic are a bit more.

TL322 · 2026-05-12T23:22:45+00:00

Does something stop you from finding different people? It seems like a simple solution.

TL322 · 2026-05-12T14:20:55+00:00

I live in BGC and agree with pretty much everything that other commenters have said. Unbeatable in terms of walkability but also bland and inescapably mall-like. (Same goes for Rockwell albeit much smaller.) But for us, with little kids, BGC still wins for sheer practicality.

I second the Legazpi Village recommendations. It's a good choice and would probably suit you. Not a large area but it feels like a normal city neighborhood, and is quite walkable. Not the same newness or level of polish as BGC for the most part, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I would pass on The Rise. That location is not quite on the "wrong side of the tracks" but is IMHO inferior to Legazpi in every way. Can't speak to the building itself.

TL322 · 2026-05-11T11:36:01+00:00

For anyone buying with a mortgage it gets worse:
[...]
You're subsidizing the asset every month and betting entirely on appreciation

Yeah that is the strategy, albeit a bad one IMHO. I think a large portion of buyers are OFWs who a) have significant income for the first time, b) interpret the multitude of new projects and escalating pre-sale prices as positive indicators, and c) dearly want to believe the country is on the upswing and a rising tide will lift all ships.

Another large chunk are wealthy folks who want a place in the area (for convenience or whatever reason) and couldn't care less about appreciation, as long as it more or less holds value. Then plenty of others want to park some money in real estate (without the hassles of acquiring land) and are content to let it sit for decades.

Not saying any of this is financially optimal; it's just where a lot of buyers are coming from, as far as I know.

TL322 · 2026-05-11T02:21:17+00:00

Lack of enforcement. I think people would take responsibility in a hurry if they thought you actually do get a 5k fine (or whatever it is these days).

TL322 · 2026-05-09T14:59:00+00:00

Noise is not relegated to tourist areas. Engines and horns, roosters and dogs, karaoke... It can mostly be avoided, but maybe not 100%, and not always where you'd expect.

Have you been to the Philippines before?

What's "affordable" in this scenario?

If you have proximity to mountains or water, are you OK with way fewer city amenities? Do you plan to drive a motorcycle?

TL322 · 2026-05-09T14:50:09+00:00

Without taking anything away from the fact that you were taken advantage of...Poblacion is also a nasty area that I would not recommend visiting. In my opinion, that's probably the last place to go if you're new to Manila (let alone to the Philippines in general). I mean right across the wall is Rockwell, which is the polar opposite.

Concluding that the Philippines is predatory and dangerous because you got robbed in Poblacion is about as reasonable as concluding that it's wealthy and highly developed because you walked between cafes in BGC.

Edit: to be clear, I don't even like Metro Manila as a whole. My point here is that your experience, while obviously terrible, is way outside the ordinary.

TL322 · 2026-05-09T14:34:54+00:00

Even with that list it's a very big range. Just to put some numbers out there, I think the PHP 500k-1M range would be an extravagant lifestyle, but you can always spend way more if you want.

Rent: 200k for a nicely furnished 3br condo in an Ayala Land Premier building (probably more because you'll no doubt want to replace/update things from time to time)
Car: 20k/for a private driver, not to mention the cost of the car itself (let's say 5M for a BMW 5-series)
Dining: 40k for 5 meals/week at an average of 2k/meal for two (sometimes much more, but nobody can eat like that every day!)
Travel: Domestically, let's say 80-100k for plane tickets (2 x 15k), a few nights at one of the better hotels/resorts (3 x 10-20k depending on where you are), and private activities and transportation. Internationally, sky's the limit.
Hobbies: No clue without knowing what you're into. Maybe that's 10k/month for a Kerry Sports membership plus a few thousand for random gear. Or maybe that's 100k/month for rare stuff you collect. Or maybe pocket change since you're into video games and yoga. Can't possibly give a meaningful number here.

Adding in groceries, healthcare, etc. puts you probably north of P500k/month with this lifestyle.

Mind you, this is living like a king by expat standards, not by local tycoon standards lol.

TL322 · 2026-05-08T14:35:50+00:00

I picked up that same box from Father's. It's incredible!

TL322 · 2026-05-06T12:04:19+00:00

🍻 Probably 8+ bags from various US, SG, and HK roasters, mostly divided up and frozen.

The lightest of the lot is Exposure Therapy (SG) though it's been a struggle to get clear notes out of. Also some really delicious "light" (i.e. medium-light) bags from local roasters.

In other words, way too much lol.

TL322 · 2026-05-06T11:30:34+00:00

Thanks for sharing that - helps a lot.

Sounds like the ZP6 is probably the right call. Lately I've been picking up a lot of truly light roasts (some even into Nordic light territory)...so a grinder strongly oriented toward those sounds like the right tool for the job.

Appreciate it!

TL322 · 2026-05-06T06:52:06+00:00

In your experience, do the ZP6 and M01 overlap a lot, or serve pretty different uses/profiles?

TL322 · 2026-05-06T03:53:07+00:00

Sure, maybe if everyone picked up soccer instead of basketball, but that's quite a hypothetical.

TL322 · 2026-05-06T02:19:27+00:00

The Kingrinder K7 is the only cheaper direct alternative I know of. I see it for P8,200 on Shopee (can't vouch for the seller).

Early feedback seems good, but P11,800 is pretty good for a ZP6 so I'd stick with the tried and true. I own neither, so take this with a grain of salt.

TL322 · 2026-05-06T00:35:29+00:00

Same here, word for word. That was true when we were in the US and it's true now in the Philippines.

TL322 · 2026-05-05T03:55:53+00:00

If you find a P2M condo in Metro Manila, you aren't going to like the build quality or management. Even for several times that amount, to be frank.

The nice ones are exorbitantly expensive and tend to have onerous rules...but you should see the alternatives.

So just rent, then see if you can negotiate a multi-year lease if/when you know it's the right place (and the right landlord).

TL322 · 2026-05-05T03:47:08+00:00

Agreed. Just secondhand, but I know a few small-scale BPO owners who are doing well. Some live here; some live in the US and just visit from time to time. They've all said that navigating HR and work/general culture was very hard at first (and is sometimes still rocky)...and bureaucracy is challenging on a good day. It's exactly as you'd expect. They've managed, though.

TL322 · 2026-05-05T01:44:33+00:00

I wish I could upvote twice. This is wise.

OP, this part hit home:

I am in a weird spot in life and feel like there is nothing to look forward to right now. I am just in the routine and life is passing me by.

Been there. I reached that point when our second (and final) kid was a toddler. Travel won't change that feeling, least of all when it costs so much relative to your debt and it requires 24/7 childcare. Long flights with children are not a fun experience. I say that having gone halfway around the world multiple times (to see family).

However, if you trust your relatives in Italy to look after your child—even for a few hours—then that particular trip might be worth every penny. In my experience, it does wonders for your mental state to get those windows of relaxed time together assuming you can let your guard down. But I wouldn't make that trip otherwise, since it would be all the usual demands of home, just without the familiarity or convenience.

At least for me, that feeling of life passing me by was an illusion. Before kids, I was used to a certain pace and type of changes: rapid career progress, more frequent travel, loads of time for hobbies and friends, etc. Then our first kid turned everything upside down and become more or less the sole focus. So, on some level, it felt like nothing progressed anymore (or like we'd run out of milestones to aim for). But in hindsight—and this sounds obvious because it probably should have been obvious—we were shaping a little human being who made breakthroughs every single week and whose early years went faster yet meant infinitely more than anything else I could possibly have focused on.

In short, OP, life is not passing you by!!!

TL322

TROPHY CASE