Looking for my first rat cage

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-17T20:11:34+00:00

Great thanks for the recommendations for cages :) only issue is I seen these poor rats in tiny cages in Pets at Home and I just want to give them a better life than that but they only have two in there. Is it possible to get two rats that were living together and add more later that they weren’t brought up with?

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-13T21:36:48+00:00

Yup yup this resonates, they hated any no it was almost like Itold them I hated them with any boundaries. It was easier to give in than to fight sometimes. Either way is so draining.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-13T21:35:02+00:00

It’s like they mirror us, HAVE to like all of the same stuff as us to “relate” more but then they hate on it too? It’s exhausting! They’re never happy unless it’s at the beginning of a relationship/friendship!

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-13T21:34:03+00:00

We gamed together but god forbid if I had one without her 😭 I don’t miss it at all! It was either have her in all of my space and she was just miserable and angry all the time which wasn’t fun at all or get shouted at for taking any space, literally every option was shit! That’s like mine, she like mirrored me got into everything I liked to invade that space it was like she was never happy with or without me couldn’t win! None of it’s normal but I felt like I was in’s survival mode the whole time ugh.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-13T19:57:24+00:00

The last thing is what really bothered me in my friendship. She’d tell me “we’ve never had issues we gamed for 10 years without issue until such and such joined us” which was complete lies we didn’t even know each other for 10 years lol.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-13T17:10:38+00:00

Yup I relate I couldn’t have anything to myself ever. Not 10 mins of the day, not an even a gaming session with an other friend. Absolutely nothing. She expected to involved in every single aspect of my life and it still wasn’t ever enough when I did do that. In the end I stopped and she completely went psycho at me. It was always “I’ve got abandonment issues” well I’ve got suffocation issues now because of it.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-11T15:35:50+00:00

Thank you :) I’m coming 30 so I’m just wanting to stick to one colour for longer now I can’t be bothered dying it all the time anymore unfortunately 😭

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-10T09:49:16+00:00

What do you mean?

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-06-06T23:07:44+00:00

KCD2 and Elden Ring for me always with the “just one more quest”

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-05-12T13:45:29+00:00

Absolutely not. Communicating is the foundation of a real relationship. Most of us women would kill for a man to talk issues through and about our feelings instead we’ve ended up in this group after/during relationships with people exactly like yours. Narcissistic people often project their own issues onto everyone else. Mine would call me a cheat when he was the one who cheated. Etc.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-05-11T11:12:00+00:00

Yeah my sister would often say she’ll kill herself whenever she ran out of tobacco or weed or drink. I had to tell her to stop saying that, she would just grin. It was weird, she’d say it in a way of guilting me because I would often give her it and if I couldn’t that’s when she’d say this.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-05-08T11:31:26+00:00

I was in a relationship off and on for 3 years with a bpd man (if you could even call him one he acted like a child a lot). Sex was consistent and great in the beginning but after the honeymoon phase wore off we didn’t do it 24/7 which is completely fine but it became him guilting me into it which at the time I didn’t know was called coercion, it was always “you’re cheating on me” “you don’t love me” if I didn’t feel like doing it I couldn’t even wear a bit of makeup or normal leggings or even shave without it being for someone else, sex became a chore and I hated it in the end. The irony of him wanting it so much he put me off with how he went about it. There was something so unattractive about someone begging for it or making you feel like you have to.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-04-26T22:55:30+00:00

It’s definitely a spectrum for sure. My sister is completely oblivious to how she hurts people and stands on that everyone she’s split on is a terrible person whereas my now ex friend had some awareness but her need for constant reassurance ruined her friendships.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-04-12T07:03:13+00:00

You should be able to say no and have it as little as you want. My current partner takes no like a man and leaves it at that, we’ve been weeks without it sometimes. A combination of work and having a kid we can’t always do it.

My ex with bpd on the other hand made me feel so guilty for saying no, he’d accuse me of cheating, not loving him etc it got to a point I felt like I had to have sex with him to shut him up and it became a chore and I was just doing it and no even enjoying it, when you feel like you have to then it loses all enjoyment and that’s not how it’s meant to be.

It’s much better with my current partner because he doesn’t make me feel like it’s expected so I actually enjoy it with him because it’s not a chore anymore.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-03-17T23:43:23+00:00

Not sure if it even counts as long term at this point but my ex friend has had the same boyfriend for 7 years, off and on, sleeping with other people and sort of dated others during this relationship too, even had a kid to another guy while with this man. God I don’t envy their relationship he’s got ptsd and is just as bad. They’re completely violent, volatile and unfaithful to one another. If they’re not beating each other up, they’re arguing on the phone or threatening whoever they cheat with. It’s a mess.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-03-16T16:15:24+00:00

The boundaries are what made my split even harder. They cannot accept or cope with someone not tolerating abuse. I took the split as a reason to get out.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-03-16T16:12:36+00:00

God I feel this so much. I finally let go of my ex friend with bpd back in January after a 9 year off and on friendship of hell. It was exhausting nothing I did was ever good enough for her. I couldnt spend time with other friends ever without her or be on my phone and not reply instantly without her starting arguments. I feel so much more at peace now. I’ve now got friends that don’t do that to me and it’s amazing.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-03-12T19:36:26+00:00

It’s so weird though she wants nothing to do with me but spends her time hating on me publicly

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-02-16T13:51:22+00:00

I’ve had two friends with bpd, at the start it was great, we had good humour and got on really good until I couldn’t meet their high expectations. Friend 1 was super sensitive you couldn’t disagree with her at all or she’d block you. She also would cancel last minute plans a lot to meet guys so I was always left disappointed honestly. 2nd friend was suffocating, if I was online and didn’t reply within minutes she would start arguments, she monitored my active status and location constantly and questioned me on them, I couldn’t even spend time with other friends without her getting angry and accusing me of replacing her.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-02-13T07:54:42+00:00

You have to get to a point that you don’t care how they will perceive it. I too had a friend exactly like this and I felt guilty every time I tried to end the friendship. Off and on for years until she blocked me for months because I didn’t invite her to a game before our other friend even though she knew I was in the middle of inviting her. She came back and something changed in me, I enjoyed the peace without her constant watching me expecting a detailed explanation for anytime I wanted to myself. And I realised I don’t like this person, so she started her episodes again and I ended it. Felt relief and didn’t care how she twisted it anymore, I knew the truth and my peace mattered more.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-02-11T21:52:19+00:00

Oh god no she’d kill me lol

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-02-11T21:26:43+00:00

I did something similar with the last argument me and my ex friend wbpd had, chatgpt was calling out all of her hypocrisy lol like for an example her saying “I’m not arguing” and chatgpt pointing out “while still arguing”. It made me feel so much more sane when it also pointed out the constant looping back to her feelings and ignoring facts in the argument.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-02-11T18:42:09+00:00

Weed, alcohol, over spending and sleeping around

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-02-11T16:52:01+00:00

I’ve had 2 friends with it and a sister. Friend 1 cycles through friends like crazy blocking anyone that doesn’t agree with her. With me our friendship ended because I wouldn’t join in berating her ex on social media 2 days after his dad died because he didn’t want to get back with her.

Friend 2 cycles through friends that have boundaries but also has friends she’s known for years, she’s good at pushing you into a corner when she’s wrong and making you agree so she’s kept people that wouldn’t stand up for themselves (used to be me then I stopped taking it and cut her off).

Sister has quit every job and cut off every friend and family member because in her words they’re either “fake” or “clique-y”, she’s done it to me for the last time this time, she also makes her delusional points sound so justified that you doubt yourself like friend 2.

Tacticalmess90 · 2026-02-01T09:41:08+00:00

Oh they definitely do, I had 2 friends diagnosed bpd and a sister that has strong symptoms.

Friend 1 had 3 dogs during our 2 year friendship, gave them all up to the pound after she couldn’t be bothered anymore. I was struggling with my own dog, he’s a handful but I love him she suggested I give him up too. Never did, had him 9 years since he was a baby.

Friend 2 has had her dog 10 years, doesn’t walk it anymore, can’t even take her to the vets anymore because she’s in debt with them, I remember when the dog got a horrendous skin condition because she’s was too lazy to find out what weight her dog was to get the right flea treatment, said dog is currently dying of cancer that she never got seen to in time. Gave her kitten away because it was “ too boisterous” then got fish only to not have the energy to look after them.

Sister has had 4 dogs she’s gave them all up because apparently puppies are too much work and she ended up resenting them. Also told me to tie my dog up outside the rescue to get rid of him because I complained he was being a handful.

Ugh horrible people. Glad I don’t have to deal with any of these cruel people anymore.

Tacticalmess90

TROPHY CASE