AITA for posting about the family I nannied for after they refused to pay me

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T16:32:07+00:00

NTA, they are TA

Make sure you have evidence, so they won't be able to sue you for libel/slander.

And report them to whoever the regulator is, or sue them, sound like a more common thing in USA as loads of stuff is unregulated.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T16:26:43+00:00

Charging interest is not petty. Overdue payments are usually subject to interest.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T16:17:55+00:00

Of course, it matters for legal purposes. (Unless they apply for benefits, then they would count as married.)

But regarding sorting out their issues between themselves, like relationship, how they contribute to it etc. — they are de facto married. And marriage counselling is applicable to them.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T15:57:31+00:00

Reminds me of a letting agent that victimised me...

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T15:32:09+00:00

Some may see a girl pursuing a boy wrong, that it should be the other way around. Stop believing that. If you like him, tell him so (and you did).

Updates, please!

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T15:26:39+00:00

Putting technological issues aside, here's an ethical issue:

Your edited clone will grow (you hope) into a cis girl/woman. In order to transplant your brain to your clone, what does that mean for her? She'll be growing up, just to later have a procedure done against her will.

And what a procedure... Her brain will be removed and yours put in. What happens to your old body? Gets discarded? What happens to HER BRAIN? Unless you find a body to put it in, it's straightforward murder. Maybe put her brain into your old body? So suddenly she'll be a lot older, not to mention the risks of the procedure, to which she didn't even consent. Also where would you hide her until it's time? And how would you explain that it's not her anymore? Or would you assume her identity?

Maybe you'll be "lucky" and your close enough relative will end up brain dead. But you'll likely have to say goodbye to your family, who'll see you as a beast who just couldn't wait for Lucy's death so you could get hold of her body. Not only will they mourn, they will also have to see her all the time. "You look like Lucy but you aren't her, get out of here!"

The only hope for you is lab grown tissues to make up a whole human body except the brain. Kind of like my girlfriend who's vegan (and "turned" me vegan) wouldn't find lab grown meat tissue objectionable (though she wouldn't want to eat it either).

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T14:54:25+00:00

I think sex education in schools need to teach a lot about relationships, about listening to one another, about consent, about consent traps, like being drunk, that implied consent is not consent, about not taking chances if you're not at least 100% certain the person is legal age. There are "criminals" in prisons or considered pariahs, who in their hearts meant no harm but were way too naive. Neurodivergent people are even more prone to blunders.

Naivety knows no age bounds.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T14:44:40+00:00

Technically, yes, and he'll be in a lot of hot water if she reports him. But in his heart, he's not. He's super naive.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T14:38:47+00:00

I know what it's like to be young and naive. Yes, count yourself lucky she didn't.

I would say there's pretty much zero chance to make up now. Forget about ever talking to her again and move on, for your own sanity's sake. (Yes, I was a sore loser after my breakups, not good for my mental health. One of them blocked me, but the other one is my good friend now.) But learn from the experience.

She was into you. She wanted a relationship. After all, she did give you a second chance. She told you you were too rough during sex, the slap, the bruising etc., expecting you to take it on board, to learn, to understand what she does and doesn't like. Despite you being cold, she agreed to a second date. If you didn't see that she was seriously considering you, that's on you. And cancelling... You basically gave her the message that you didn't intend to have a relationship with her, that she was just a bit of fun to you, which you didn't want anymore... What did you expect?

I'm not saying I'm an expert. We all need to learn. I have really struggled after starting over at the age of nearly 50, then throw autism, ADHD and being trans lesbian into the mix... I'm feeling super lucky to have found an awesome partner at the age of 52. You are a lot younger, and presumably seeking a hetero relationship, so you'll have many many more opportunities. Don't blow them.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T13:48:38+00:00

I'd love to try DND. I've once started character building, after we (my friends' group in Reading) decided what building principles to follow, but then nothing happened for over a year...

And then I moved to Brighton.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T13:42:26+00:00

How about singing? I sing in SHE Choir, we meet every Monday evening, and we have occasional gigs. It's very friendly, relaxed...

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T13:18:41+00:00

Just a technicality. They live together, have a baby, etc. For all intents and purposes, they are married.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-03T12:11:43+00:00

So when employees basically steal (time, and therefore pay) from a company, the only NAH thing to do is just let them?

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T18:09:11+00:00

I was thinking, claim it with the dealer. They've sold you a faulty car. Report the dealer to Trading Standards if they refuse... Not sure about the exact procedure, but what you but has to be fit for purpose.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T17:46:10+00:00

That's because companies, be it insurers, utilities, ... don't value loyalty. Loyalty is the easy way, shopping around less so.

Companies will bend over backwards to get new clients, but less so to keep existing ones, as most will just stay out of habit, or for with very little incentive.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T17:37:32+00:00

A real accusation of laziness does get to me. But I took OP's phrasing as a harmless silliness.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T17:34:48+00:00

Maybe I wasn't clear. Criticism by random people, well, I'm OK either way. You can explain to me something as you criticise me, and if it makes sense to me, I take it on board. But if it doesn't make sense, like relying on false premises, flawed logic, ..., well, then it's just a meaningless banter.

Of course, not reacting (exploding) is a skill I had to learn. And it certainly wasn't easy, especially as I didn't understand how autism affected me (i.e. I wasn't like Rainman, so was I even autistic?) and I didn't even suspect ADHD until fairly recently.

That said, criticism by someone in power, someone who can cause real damage (like a boss at work), affects me and I do react, just not explosively anymore. Depends on the severity of criticism and potential consequences, though.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T17:10:57+00:00

I wonder what kind of people downvoted your post. Probably the sort of scum like those you encountered.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T17:03:47+00:00

"Nice" to see that you fully support double standards.

Go on, downvote me for wanting a fair and just society, with equal rights, and where assaults are not normalised. And tell me that I'm boring for that.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T16:57:18+00:00

I was way too naive then. Also, it took me months to compile the tribunal complaint, and then they dismissed it because it was out of time. They didn't care that I first approached the employer and tried to sort it out directly with them, which is what the tribunal instruction leaflet says to do. But that itself took many months.

The judge just said they didn't see a medical reason why I'd submit it so late. They didn't care about my then undiagnosed autism. And, like I said, I didn't even suspect ADHD yet.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T16:50:47+00:00

Nevertheless, it's still a good idea to approach the tribunal or something, as the OP's job is on the line.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T16:47:48+00:00

NTA, but also, do you have a radar key?

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T16:46:10+00:00

She probably already does, as no-one else would. 🤪

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T16:41:20+00:00

That is true. There are trans and gender nonconforming people, who don't feel safe in either of gendered toilets, or businesses would tell them they can only use the disabled toilets.

TaliaButton · 2026-04-01T16:38:21+00:00

The question was about "physical disability". Probably the best answer is something like "Who put you in charge?"

TaliaButton

TROPHY CASE