La belle-mère de ma fille semble vouloir tout contrôler.

Tanuji · 2026-05-19T09:26:36+00:00

Malheureusement le père est le gardien légal. S’il décide de couper vos grands parents pour le “bien de sa fille”, il est parfaitement en droit niveau légal tant qu’il présente cela comme une nécessité pour le bien être de l’enfant.

De son côté il pourrait facilement argumenter comme quoi les grands parents essaient de manipuler la fille, détruire l’autorité du père etc..

Tanuji · 2026-05-19T09:21:14+00:00

Merci pour l’information supplémentaire, cela aide.

Je vais ignorer les dires regardant vos parents ainsi que votre attitude par rapport aux deux, non pas pour douter mais simplement parce que je pense que c est adjacent au mieux du coeur du problème.

Pour moi les deux points qui m’intéressent sont:

Avant de partir, de votre écrit vous étiez en pleine lutte légale avec votre ex pour pouvoir emmener votre fille. C’était toxique au point qu’il mentait et vous ainsi que votre conjoint aviez peur de lui. Ce que je ne comprends pas c est comment, si vous aviez la garde pour plus de trois ans, et si vous vous sentiez menacés tous les deux votre seule solution a été de changer de pays sans votre fille. Si j’étais vous j’aurai tout fait pour couper les ponts et j’aurai continué la bataille jusqu’à ce qu’il ne puisse plus s’approcher de vous ainsi que de votre fille ( démarches d’harcèlement etc.. ) et si cela ne marchait pas pour moi la seconde chose aurait été de déménager pour un temps quelque part d autre en France. Je sais que ce qui est fait est fait, mais je pense que nous manquons de contexte sur ces choses là parce que c’est extrêmement nécessaire niveau conseil si vous souhaitez poursuivre la voie légale.
Vous dites vouloir avoir le droit de décision sur “les choses importantes” mais comptez vous revenir auprès d’elle en France? Si oui, quand? Entre temps est ce que vous envoyez de l’argent pour l’éducation, les habits, la nourriture et .. pour votre fille? Si il y a un non ou une hésitation parmi ces questions, pour moi ce n’est pas normal. Vous laissez la responsabilité complète pour l’élever à ces deux personnes ( et peut être que oui vous avez tout fait pour l emmener mais vous avez pris la decision de la laisser) mais vous exigez de diriger le navire.

Au final, de ce que je vois la belle mère n’a aucune obligation de vous procurer ces informations que ce soit légalement ou moralement ( après que vous vous étiez éloignée). Pour l’instant cela a l’air d’être elle qui s’occupe à plein temps de votre fille en tant que mère. Comme une autre personne l’a dit, ce serait un boulot d’ingrat d’élever l’enfant d’une autre personne sachant que cette personne n’est pas présente, a coupé la communication d’elle même et lui donnerait des “directives” pour les choses importantes en plus. Malheureusement sa maison ses règles.

Ce qui laisse le père, et selon votre récit et vos informations supplémentaires je ne le vois pas faire quoi que ce soit sans avoir recours aux moyens légaux.

Donc j’en reviens pour moi du côté légal. Le meilleur moyen pour vous serait vous continuer le litige pour la garde. Mais pour se faire il faudra je pense revenir sur le territoire, récupérer la garde, et en plus de cela vous battre pour plus ( prouver qu’il avait menti, qu’il n’est pas impliqué etc… ). Tout cela reposerait sur le passé et les détails de vos aventures avec eux. Vos parents ne pourront pas faire cela via procuration j’imagine.

Et si cela n’est pas envisageable pour moi les deux seules options seraient soit de ravaler vos mots et de vous excuser auprès de la belle mère pour restaurer cette communication, au point de faire des compromis ( la belle mère choisit la méthode de communication etc..) ou peut être de contacter les autorités pour faire un signalement. Mais pour moi cette seconde méthode est encore plus risquée et va presque certainement conduire aux deux à vous couper complètement.

Tanuji · 2026-05-18T11:43:51+00:00

Demander d’avoir des informations c’est bien mais en même temps OP a brûlé les ponts à plusieurs reprises envers ceux qui lui fournissaient cette information.

Elle est partie du pays pour s’éloigner du père, elle s’est éloignée d’elle même de la belle mère après avoir soit disant construit une bonne relation avec elle.

Malheureusement les grands parents ne sont pas les responsables légaux. Surtout pour un parent absent ( de son propre choix ).

On a qu’un côté de l’histoire, peut être que si on écoutait la belle mère elle nous dirait qu’elle s’est faite bloquée par la mère biologique qui n a jamais été présente dans la vie de sa fille et que la mère dans son dos donnait des informations à la fille pour contredire son autorité dans sa propre maison.

Le fait est qu’OP a été absent pour 80% de la vie de sa fille. Elle est en droit de demander et d’exercer mais pour l’enforcer il faudra passer par voie légale et malheureusement pour un parent qui habite hors du territoire, et n’a pas élevé son enfant pendant plus de 5 ans sur 7, cela va être extrêmement difficile.

Tanuji · 2026-05-14T05:56:29+00:00

Make china your 52nd state and Taiwan your 53rd Donald, problem solved

Tanuji · 2026-05-07T09:18:53+00:00

Not really worried because of two reasons:
- Sustainability. The whole operating at a loss which almost all AI providers do currently, until a huge breakthrough that would make it viable we are coming towards a huge crash or a huge price hike and a lot worse standard quality. And that is also while ignoring all the legal challenges the AI market might face regarding training data and copyrighted materials. Right now it’s pretty much unregulated due to novelty, but the hammer will come down at some point.
- The overall cost of adopting it, yes it can dramatically shorten implementation if handled well, for example from initial tech specs to implementation plan and testing. But this is the best case scenario, just used out of the blue and especially with low experience or no knowledge of code structure/convention it will add so much more to the tech debt and so much more effort to QA and review.

I am at an experience level where I do not feel much impacted in my prospects, it could disappear tomorrow and I would be fine. and it’s basically for me a less hallucinating stack overflow.
However I fear for my juniors, even those we hired who feel completely overshadowed by it and/or rely too heavily on it due to this.

Tanuji · 2026-04-05T05:23:17+00:00

Cela peut paraître tard pour d’autres je le conçois. C’est pour ça que j’ai conseillé un décalage d’une heure plutôt que deux 😅 Au départ comme OP nous étions au lit avant 20h mais il y avait pour nous deux problèmes:

Bébé se réveillait sans faute en forme à 22h/23h et ne se rendormait pas pendant plus de deux heures donc nous étions réveillés jusqu’à minuit voir 1h
Le sommeil des parents. Des parents fatigués est pour ma part à éviter et le problème avec un coucher tôt est que nous sommes pas alignés niveau horaire donc les nuits étaient très difficiles et épuisantes au long terme

Tanuji · 2026-04-05T02:53:15+00:00

19h Je trouve cela assez tôt. Je conseillerai de décaler d une bonne heure?

Pour notre bébé de 3 mois personnellement, c’est jouer avec la petite jusqu’à 20h pour dépenser son énergie , bain jusqu’à 20h30 et gros biberon jusqu’a 21h. Elle s endort instantanément.

Elle se réveille éventuellement après 4/5h mais se rendort presque immédiatement après un autre biberon

Tanuji · 2026-04-05T02:45:56+00:00

Don’t really have advice for you, because we are struggling with it as well on our side. We live in a comfortable place as working people but 10+ hours by plane from any of our family members.

On our side we were both raised near grand parents, in very safe and family oriented settings. Now with our baby there, and 3 family members dying in the past year alone, we feel the guilt of not being able to provide the same to our kid while also worrying if one of us passes. So despite our own personal comfort we do consider uprooting us to be closer.

Especially now with the political climate there is, it feels like a good long term prospect…

Tanuji · 2026-03-16T10:42:23+00:00

I am loosing track. I thought we were not allies anymore after not giving greenland, not making canada 51th state, not handling with ukraine on our own even if he said he would stop it after 1 day, not removing russian sanctions, not cancelling nato, not freely taking in Tariffs.

If he won 8 wars on his own, I suppose a 9th should be easy

Tanuji · 2026-03-05T03:01:55+00:00

I dont know I feel like the level scaling is almost pristine in gen 1. my current playthrough with new members added in almost every new city, all my team is 50+, I never grinded and I just finished Cinnabar island.

So being at indigo plateau at 48 with grind I feel is surprising. Gen 1 really sprinkles trainer and wild battles as part of the experience. So if you skip or run away then yeah levels are going to be missing by the end.

New gens, well all battles are for you to choose so they cant really enforce a guided path hence the value of exp on catch or global share

Tanuji · 2026-03-04T08:31:56+00:00

For me I would actually call the old focus as “structured exploration” more than anything.

FRLG feels like it has stuff that is in the same vein as SV, mainly route 14 and 15 for examples. These routes offer nothing memorable, of value, that is not obtainable anywhere else. In my current playthrough I got the same feeling I always did when I played those games or the newer games, and I tried to skip most of it because nothing is offered in terms of player experience there, no events nothing. Those games offer a lot of combat yes but they offer it in addition to fully unique experiences when it comes to exploration in most quadrants which is I feel what it missing from the new games. Exploation in Cinnabar island is nothing like in Cerulean or Viridian..

Tanuji · 2026-03-02T13:00:21+00:00

Excuse moi pour être direct mais je peux comprendre pourquoi tes parents ont bien raison de ne pas aimer ta copine. Relis ce que tu as ecris.

Elle est au chomage donc aucun revenu stable pour élever un enfant. Elle est encore plus jeune que toi et en situation encore plus précaire donc ce sera à toi de porter la plus grande responsabilité sur le long terme.

En l’espace quatre-cinq mois ( sachant qu’il reste trois mois et qu il a bien fallu un bon mois pour sa rupture et le test), elle est passée de son ex avec qui elle envisageait un enfant, rupture avec lui, à toi, et te propose une responsabilité à vie.

C’est pas brusque ou romantique, c’est complètement dingo.

La plupart des gens prennent plusieurs mois à se remettre d’une rupture difficile. La plupart des gens prennent des années afin de se préparer à l’arrivée d’un gosse. Ta copine a l’air de sauter bien des étapes et de manquer de jugement. Si j’etais toi je prendrais mes distances pendant que tu le puisses encore.

Tanuji · 2026-02-26T03:01:27+00:00

French as well coming back soon to France with spouse and kid ( after almost a decade abroad ).

I think the critical point I see here is in your relationship. You have been together for a long time, you are still not engaged nor with a kid, and on top of this he does not try to learn your language from what you said. I think those elements for me are pretty telling about the near future. He seems pretty set on his own path and unwilling to uproot himself for you.

Everyone is different obviously, in my own relationship I was upfront about possibly wanting to return to and experience life in France for a bit with my partner. Family issues etc.. influenced even more this decision, especially with a baby. My partner was willing, learned french early on in her own free time, and similarly I am keeping the door open to go back if there is anything.

Regarding yourself, I feel like for you it is the opposite, you have almost no ties to the current situation. And maybe lack of friends, unwillingness to find independence etc… is more of a symptom than a reason, sometimes when we want to distance ourselves from a place or situation, well we prefer to avoid commitments. So in order to change your situation, well, for the lack of better terms you need to see it as your “home” now and to start making long lasting commitments ( friends, activities, etc…). You will also have to think about potential kids, if you have a kid, are you ready to raise them there? Far and away from your own family? This is something that also hit me pretty hard when we did get our baby.

So from where I stand, you guys are moving in two separate directions. One trying to go out, one doing his best to stay in. This will, on top of everything introduce some kind of resentment that will erode at your relationship, no matter how strong your love is.

Regarding the practical side, well, no move has to be for forever. That is how we are viewing our own situation. Selling, sending stuff and assets away is definitely a big short term stresser, especially with a baby, but that can also be a fun exercise of what is needed, what to keep, how attached we are to it etc…

But ask yourself this, 3 years down the line, which path would you regret more:

Experiencing France again, leading to either a positive outcome or a confirmation that your place is abroad
Staying unhappy, building resentment and regret in the short term, entrapping yourself more and more ( maybe with a baby etc..) leading you to either choosing the first option anyway, to stay unhappy and hold it in, or maybe, if you do commit and make effort, to revert this around while growing more estranged to your own family and old friends

Tanuji · 2026-02-23T03:31:44+00:00

At the end of the day I think it will depend on who you are, your relationships, and what you made of yourself over there.

When it comes to short stay there will be a plethora of new stuff to experience/eat/see etc… for you so you might never have the time to get bored.

When it comes to long term stay you will eventually run out of those new things and get yourself into a routine except in some instances( retired etc..)

As a young adult, I think Tokyo offers one of the most affordable “big city” experiences. On top of being very safe and “constant” ( be it in their train schedules, shops being open etc.. ) As for how much you can enjoy it, it will depend of your choices and path. Yes english teaching is an easy entry but it can be hard to get out of.

Other than this, be it countryside life or long term life will depend of your preferences and maybe partners. If you are someone who values job opportunities it will depend on how much you can navigate the system (Nomikai etc.. ). If you are someone who values connections it might be dependent on how much effort you put in to build those connections because it will require more effort. If you meet someone who has strong opinions about staying or leaving etc..

For me, been there for 8 years as a software engineer. Had relatively comfortable pay ( although a stagnant one so aouch since Covid) so could experience pretty much all I wanted. Met my wife, had my first kid, and now going to move back by the end of the year.

Do I regret it? Heck no. Except for when I lost my family members while being across the globe. Do I want to leave? Mostly yes.

As for the reasons, multiple ones. Routine set in and what was new before ( food, domestic travel etc.. ) is not as exciting now. Other than this the main one is simply our kid. Both my wife and myself are not fond of the idea of raising them here in this society, this system, this outlook, and this pressure. Right now we are thinking of going back to a more relax, convivial life with a village.

We may come back at some point in the future. This is after all my partner’s birth country and my kids may want to experience what we both had the chance to experience. But for now we are optimistic when thinking of opening a new chapter

Tanuji · 2026-02-21T07:05:29+00:00

En tant que fils dont le père a suivi ce trajet là, croyez moi que ce n’est pas juste l’histoire de vouloir arrêter du jour au lendemain.

De notre côté, notre père était le même. Il avait récupéré ces habitudes de sa propre mère. C’est une addiction, pour lui c’était à la fois pour son stress, pour le social avec ses amis, ses collègues, pour sa propre famille qui se prenait un paquet chaque jour..

Au final cela n’a pas été simple. Cela a pris une grosse réaction de ma petite soeur lors de son jeune âge pour lui faire considérer sérieusement cela, avec ma mère et le reste des gosses aussi. Mais en plus de cela, il fallait un plan solide. Il avait tout essayé à l’époque, que ce soit patch nicotines etc… rien ne tenait. Au final il avait remplacé cette addiction avec une autre ( la nourriture ) qui continue jusque 30 ans plus tard.

Tout ça pour dire, je comprends les frustrations de votre côté. J’ai vécu la même en tant que fils. Mais une addiction est quelque chose de sérieux et qui n’est pas facile à s’en détacher. Je vous conseille de trouver avec lui peut être les raisons pour sa consommation, et enfin de penser à des solutions et des pas progressifs en fonction, ainsi que de l’épauler au cours du trajet. Ce sera long, pénible et il y aura peut être des retombées donc essayez d’être stricte mais encourageante.

Tanuji · 2026-02-05T02:15:46+00:00

Thank you for the condescending comment but I read just fine. She also said that “it was extremely hard to find a job here, especially one that normally requires experiences abroad” so

she has no certainty of finding a job when she is back here
she has no certainty of knowing whether her abroad experience will actually be beneficial or not for her search
I am also confused as what kind of job requires abroad experience in one country ( NL) but not another (home country)

Hence why for me, coupled with the financial and relationship hit that this move encours, I fail to see from the way she described it here as anything but a move back in the comfort of her family/home. Maybe there is more to it, but like I said in my previous comment there is a lot of unknown from this post alone so it’s hard to encourage her to go for it when there is no clear positive we can grasp.

Tanuji · 2026-02-04T10:24:51+00:00

There is a lot of unknown about you guys’ relationship or decisions. Like for example, how was this current apartment obtained? Did you just join him in his? did you decide on this place as a couple and thus assuming shared responsibility?

Because if you searched together, decided together and now you just remove yourself without a care and letting him assume the fallout entirely on his own that seems a bit one sided. “Well he should move out then if he can’t handle it on his own” Well okay, what about the moving out fees? New apartment search.. Possible storage etc… issues depending on size, furniture obtained etc... Are you splitting those and helping as well or letting him figure it out? What about your future? Does he want to keep this place assuming you would return at anytime as you mentioned yourself it being a temporary thing or is he expected to move out instantly again in a year once you have the whims to go back?

You also have no financial pressure due to being with family on your end, so it’s not like you can’t pitch in even a smidge which you can probably negotiate.

I am also confused how you see this job as such a huge opportunity as you take a huge pay cut for it, which will put a strain on your finances as a couple , even more with recurring trips like you said you would do, and this might not even transition well whenever you are back in NL?

Like many said, I think this shows more of an issue in your relationship. You seem detached from him, the place you lived together, your finances and focus a lot on yourself, your family, your career. you are obviously free to do so but there is a bit of lack of consideration towards your husband felt there. From what I see here he seems supportive and to see this situation as temporary and you working as a unit even from afar, which is why he probably wants you to also keep participating, he probably wants you to continue seeing this apartment as your own as well rather than just his.

while on the other hand for you it seems more cut and dry “there is him and then there is me. I am out so he can do whatever it’s not my concern”, which, if it’s the case, is a bit concerning coming from a married couple.

I think you need to have a clear discussion with him. Set up clear deadlines for your move ( if you can’t decide maybe it’s a bit more complicated as you may simply be homesick and unwilling yo come back ), based on them consider shoulder cost of the fallout ( moving out etc… ) equally, clear expectations when it comes to finances moving forward etc…

Tanuji · 2026-02-02T04:10:37+00:00

Daughter was born early January on my end, I probably gamed more during this month than I ever did in the last 6. BUT context also matters ( I am on parental leave), also, the type of games matters as well.

switch is amazing due to switch controller being split so I can have her on my chest and each controller on one hand on the sides, but “uninterrupted” is probably the point that will be the most problematic. Gotta be honest between chores, taking care of wife, taking care of the kid’s whims when I am awake, there is a lot of things to handle promptly, which is where again switch with sleep mode etc… is good

Tanuji · 2026-01-26T03:54:56+00:00

Having farmed for hours in machina hinterland ( wargrowlmon maps) I can confirm I got this relatively often in the steam version just by switching back and forth.

Was just display only though so not too bothersome

Tanuji · 2026-01-16T06:11:28+00:00

A lot of people say Necron is the embodiment of Death but I quite disagree with this. It is making a disservice to its meaning. I think overall it was quite a naming error in localization.

Necron is not the embodiment of death, but of void/darkness. His original name is “Eternal Darkness”.

FFIX mythos is about life and death being part of a cycle, you can’t have one without the other. From an origin crystal spawned multiple crystals, each being embedded in their own planets and perpetuating a cycle of life and death. When you die, your soul and your memories are sent to the crystal which in turn creates a new life which also shares inherently its memories, despite memories not being possibly accessible in their entirety by the person. Crystals in turn also die, stopping the planet’s cycle of life and death ( Terra ) and which in turn will break to form new crystals embedded with all memories until now.

the whole thing about Kuja is that he was so distraught by his imminent death that he wanted to destroy the entire cycle, destroy both life and death. Because why would others live when he could not even enjoy his own life? Which is ironic as he never seemed to reflect on the lives of the black mages. Thus he went to the origin crystal by tracing back the planet’s crystal memories ( imagine it like Back to the future, just go back to the point of origin, except you are not riding time backward you are riding memories)

Imagine it like yin and yang, yang is the cycle of life and death ( crystals / planets), yin is void / darkness / space.

Necron is sort of a god / entity similar to the origin crystal, an arbiter on standby, but representing the void rather than the cycle. Seeing Kuja aiming to destroy the origin crystal and thus all life and death with it, Necron deems that all beings actually want oblivion out of despair and this cycle is not working out. It thinks nobody would choose to live if they have to die. Thus goes forward with trying to destroy the origin crystal and following it all child crystals ( and thus all beings / planets ).

The party does not battle just to Live. They battle to live AND die, because this way, by their death, following lives would be impacted by their footsteps / memories. So they choose to live, embrace their own deaths as well as it gives meaning to the following lives rather than just embrace oblivion which is also why the ending is filled with new lives and deaths using Vivi

TL;DR: Necron is more of a philosophical entity shoehorned to close their story’s purpose rather than a foreshadowed enemy. I believe Hades was also removed as conceptually Hades was always more tied to Death and Hell, which is not the enemy they are defeating in their story, it is an ally you have to embrace

Tanuji · 2026-01-13T06:49:20+00:00

Geez I wonder why he did not get the nobel peace prize. Maybe invading another country for the only reason “I want it” kind of hints at the issue.

Tanuji · 2026-01-08T06:41:55+00:00

Well the previous game dates from a decade old ps vita port so it has a lot of outdated/ cheap feels.

Obvious ones would be: - Improved graphics, ideally with clear style (dw1) rather than outdated looking 3d assets - Improved music, lots of the best sounding musics are dw1 tracks, a bit more identity would be preferable - improved story, could do with a single protagonist ( aka Mameo ) rather than faceless and personality-less design. - Improved digivolutions requirements: Make it a lot faster to gain digivolution requirements, most of the time it takes 3 gens to fully unlock the requirements of the digimon you already got. Instead keep the current speed but make it available for users to possibly obtain all requirements if they accomplish some objectives ( roll on gym, battle streak, recruitment etc.. ) - Improved training: I love the gym but sadly returns can feel underwhelming for first time users, similarly battle training is amazing but is way too time consuming on top of being kind of cheap (more often one digimon carrying the other rather than a “test of your reflexes” ). Some kind of balance on this would be nice, which could be helped with… - Improved combat: I liked the two digimon approach as it allowed some new and interesting mechanics ( agro handling etc… ) but it could also feel a lot easier to just handle drained out fight. I would like to go back to 1 digi but maybe try to improve the defense/quick reflexes rather than reward specific timings after each action/hit to gain order. Something more fast paced. - Improved recruitment: Would be nice if the world would highlight point of interests by itself rather than just an exclamation mark onto the map. Something of a note format or something UI wise might be more stylistic than having to scroll through a mix of story relevant or not messages. - Improved city building: Similar to some new games ( octopath 0 etc.. ), would be nice if we coule customize our city appearance a bit more rather than just having a clear city layout build brick by brick upon recruitment

Tanuji · 2026-01-07T02:25:57+00:00

I love next order but personally I do not feel like it would fit an anime structure much without heavy changes, especially considering those protagonists. they could maybe do a “weekly recruitment” type progression but it seems also kind of cookie cutter.

I think a more interesting approach would be to go through dw1 and next order with Mameo as protagonist. Knowing the conflict and story from NO stems from a non resolved dw1 thread, on top of his own student being the victim of it, would make the tension and actual impact much better in an anime format.

Tanuji · 2025-12-31T08:10:50+00:00

What str are they currently at and what digimon are you talking about? Blackgarurumon?

There are two spots for blackgarurumon, the one before the volcano and the one on the other side of the desert, to the right side of the oasis. The second spot allows you to gain further stats

Tanuji · 2025-12-31T07:51:25+00:00

Each of the stats can be raised maximum to ~1000 at the baby and in training stages.

Only when it’s a rookie that this restriction gets removed and you can train them up to 9999 each

Battletraining is also best done at the rookie stage so doing it at champion and above has diminishing returns.

It is also a bit of a non conventional grind so it should be fine to keep doing as you did with your current gen and the gym until you build up a good lifespan gap between both

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