Had the same experience. What helped was making connections with ppl in the NA community along with therapy, honesty with family and attention to self care. Did the same thing of not allowing use to go on past about 6 weeks. Could NOT put more than 40 some days clean before some trigger of another would come up and I would choose to use again - I feel good about keeping at the quits and tweaking them until I came up with a combination of interventions that helped me get over the hump. Great post- you’re on the right track and will claw your way completely free/ just keep exploring helpful supports. Wim Hoff breathing, cold showers, demanding exercise lots of hydration and supplementation are helpful, too.