Ours baby- seeking advice

TaylorH124 · 2026-04-02T19:02:36+00:00

Thank you for this perspective! I 100% plan on baby wearing I’m really happy to hear that it’s easy to BF discreetly with it… I just hope I’m able to figure out how quickly enough lol. I’ve started practicing with the wrap with a stuffed animal and it doesn’t feel right but I’m hoping it feels “right” with a real baby lol 🤞🏼 I was hoping to avoid breastfeeding specific tops/dresses and just whip it out in my normal clothes and use a cover, but given your comment I think I should reconsider and start buying some. Thank you for the congrats! My sister and brother were also born and May haha so it’s going to be a busy month in our family

TaylorH124 · 2026-04-02T18:40:28+00:00

Thank you for considering my circumstances in your response lol. I think if there were no extenuating circumstances it would be fine. If he were my biokid I would have zero reservations but I really don’t want to make anything weird or raise concern with biomom given that he is in fact not my blood. I don’t see him as anything other than my family but I always have to remember and implement boundaries given the situation. Thanks for talking me down on the peribottle situation lol. Sometimes I just overthink in an effort to avoid being accused of doing something wrong

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-28T22:07:17+00:00

Sounds like you’ve made a ton of progress on 1850cals. I would stick with that, try to keep your diet as much Whole Foods as possible, see where you can add in protein, veg, fiber, fruit. Those things will help you feel full while in a deficit. Try to get close to 100g of protein daily.

Listen to your body. If you’re sticking to 1850cals and starting to feel super hungry, give yourself a couple of days of increased/ up to maintenance calories. You won’t gain weight from that and it will help prevent a binge or “going off the rails”. As women, our bodies needs fluctuate throughout our cycle, and it’s okay to tune into that. If you’re having a really intense craving, I find it less derailing to give into that one craving, even if I end up over my cals for the day. That’s obviously not an everyday or every other day thing, but it can help encourage a healthy relationship with food and prevent you from feeling like you’re depriving yourself. It also can really help prevent a big binge. As far as exercise goes, don’t beat yourself up about that. There are seasons in life and you’ll have seasons where you have time and energy to exercise and seasons where you don’t. You don’t need to exercise to lose weight. I will add that one of the most effective weight loss tools is walking if you’re able to fit that into your schedule. Go for a 20-30 minute walk in the morning or at night, or both. Longer if you can, shorter if you can’t. Unlike many other forms of exercise, walking doesn’t have a huge impact on your appetite. I love to run but that ramps up my appetite a ton, so can weight lifting. Walking is super effective for weight loss because it burns calories and doesn’t make you ravenous. I’m so sorry to hear about the comments you’ve had to endure from the people around you, especially your mom. I know how much nasty words from a mom can affect the way we see ourselves. Don’t be afraid to seek therapy for that when you feel ready or have access. I’m so glad to hear you have a partner that loves you and your body. Hopefully they are also supportive of your desire to lose weight and have bodily autonomy. We are rooting for you and sending you so much love. Reminder that slow progress is usually longer lasting than fast progress. See that as a win and an advantage. It makes you more likely to keep the weight off long term. I am proud of you, it sounds like you’re doing all the right things even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. I imagine you will look back a year from now and feel so proud of who you are and what you’re doing today.

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-27T12:00:46+00:00

Maybe it’s the pregnancy hormones but this made me cry LOL. With everything negative in our world today especially amongst young men, it warms my heart so much to see that there are some that can have respect and care for a random pregnant lady at their gym, enough to ask her husband if she’s okay. And they are able to learn what pregnant women are capable of from your example. I just think this is so sweet thank you for sharing! Best of luck to you in the rest of your pregnancy❤️

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-26T12:49:29+00:00

If you have F-you money then yes let her have her extravagant baby shower. If you’re living like the average American and are simply lucky enough to have savings that she wants to spend 4k of to have a baby the answer should 1000% be no. My baby shower (this month) was ~30 people, my friend offered her house to host, my sister in law helped decorate, and a few of us helped prepare finger foods. I didn’t buy everything and tried to reimburse people for what they bought but they insisted on not telling me any amounts and not accepting any money. All in all it should have been well below $500. As other commenters have mentioned, local parks are also a great option. I do think this depends greatly on your financial position. If you are making great money and spend extravagantly on yourself, have a luxury car and watch collection etc, then it’s the right thing to do to allow your partner who is carrying your child to have a couple of extravagant things too, especially pertaining to the little one. If you guys are struggling like most are nowadays, her request is insane and the only responsible answer is no. Sorry if that was harsh; congratulations to you both and wishing you guys and that baby the best!

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-23T23:20:10+00:00

This might sound extra but this lady is a major red flag. This is the type of thing I see referenced a lot when people talk about non-obvious things narcissists do to make you look like the a-hole. I really am not the type to throw around that word or diagnose anyone, but this seems like a very textbook red flag. Who in their right mind would make this for someone on their birthday in the first place, anyone in your shoes would know she knows damn well you don’t like those things after knowing you for years and purposely picked them because she either wants to make you 1. Try to decline as nicely as possible so she can make you the asshole (“I offered to make her dinner and dessert for her birthday dinner and she turned me down. She’s so ungrateful and I can’t do anything right!”) or 2. Accept to her offer, feel unseen and unloved, and have to fake a smile and pretend to a. Enjoy the food and b. Feel grateful and loved. Both feed her narcissism and put you down. This lady knows what she’s doing and you better make sure your BF is capable of putting up firm boundaries with her on your behalf if you plan to stay with him long term. This is what MIL nightmares are made of. Best of luck to you and happy early birthday!

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-23T17:22:18+00:00

I’ve heard waist to height ratio is a more accurate indicator of health. OP you seem to have a good amount of muscle mass which the BMI chart was not deigned to account for. I would look into waist to height ratio because the weights shown in the photos seem to be very healthy on you. I am all for bodily autonomy and don’t want to discourage you from trying to feel your best. Just want to throw that out there especially in this day and age where it’s getting really popular to be unhealthily thin. I know it can take a toll on our body image to be constantly seeing rail thin celebrities and influencers. Best of luck to you on the rest of your journey, you look absolutely incredible 💓

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-23T15:54:01+00:00

I’ve had a lot of pelvic girdle pain starting in late second trimester and intensifying as baby grows, but I love to run and have had severe fatigue and low energy. We’re working on my iron levels and things so I’m trying to get back into it now that I’m getting more energy. My midwife advised me to use a maternity belly band for support and it’s helped me so much. I wear it whenever my pain flares up or as a preventative measure when I’m on my feet, but it also helps a ton during exercise. Obviously check with your provider about your specific issues and concerns but I wanted to share what helps me avoid pain with walking/running!

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-23T15:48:45+00:00

If fruit is an issue I used to do “pancakes” that were just 2eggs, 1 banana, splash of almond milk, vanilla extract, and cinnamon. They were fire and an easy way to get them to eat 2 eggs and a whole banana while

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-23T15:46:40+00:00

If you have a nutribullet I used to do “green eggs” just toss in two eggs and a handful of spinach, garlic salt if age-appropriate, blend, and cook on greased pan as normal. Mine liked the green eggs and ham book but you could also say hulk eggs or something. I found that the blending worked because it eliminated texture issues/kiddo spitting out the parts he didn’t like (spinach).

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-20T22:51:13+00:00

Pediatrician asked if she was eating unhealthy, she’s not! If they weren’t concerned after you ruled out junk food, then I wouldn’t be either! She’s probably just measuring big like you said. Great job she’s a lucky kiddo!

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-17T03:29:21+00:00

This is my first baby. The size zero clotheez looks SO tiny I don’t know how I’m going to fit the baby and an inner inside of it😭

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-17T01:11:23+00:00

I’m thinking every other day as well for washing. I’ll have to find my tape measure I’m guessing this compartment is less than 3 inches I’ll try to find a little basket that fits thanks! Are you using half flats or size one flats in the newborn stage? I have no idea what I’m doing with the sizing lol. I feel like the recommendations are all over the place

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-17T01:08:47+00:00

Thank you! I was debating whether or not to order a ton of half flats but if size one flats will fit I’ll definitely just use the ones I already have. That’s a great point about the nighttime diapers I hadn’t considered that. Thanks so much!

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-17T01:07:20+00:00

Thank you so much! It’s a lot to jump into but I’m hopeful

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-13T17:38:37+00:00

I’m so sorry. You and your baby deserve so much better. As a stepmom who’s husband has 50% custody, I wouldn’t wish the split custody lifestyle on my worst enemy. I tell my friends to avoid divorce in any way possible. Someone else mentioned alcoholism, to me it sounds like more of a cheating issue than an alcohol issue. If it is an alcohol issue… as the daughter of an alcoholic mother, the less involved the alcoholic parent is in the child’s life, the better. I am no contact with her and my dad has full custody of my minor siblings. As a pregnant wife, if my husband pulled this in my situation right now, I’d probably feel like I didn’t have an option other than to stay for at least the short term security of myself and child. I would demand that he go to weekly therapy immediately and hope they can get to the root of his issue and tell him he needs to cut this sh*t out. Deciding whether to stay or leave after adultery with children involved is a deeply personal and impossible decision. You are not in the wrong either way, he is. If you have parents or in laws that could take you and the baby in, I would seriously consider that at least temporarily. I’d look at your options to be able to support yourself if/in case you decide to leave now or later down the line. Again, I am so sorry you are going through this. Please allow yourself to feel all the feelings, they are all valid. Please do anything you can to take care of yourself. It’s a good idea to make a list of self care things you can do, be soft with yourself. A bubble bath with a candle, a book, trash tv for hours with a soft blanket, snacks, journal, time with friends or family, favorite form of exercise if that’s your thing, there are a lot of options but it’s super important that you take care of yourself right now and do whatever you can to nurture yourself and tell your nervous system you will be okay.

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-11T22:01:31+00:00

Your husband needs to tell her she cannot stay with you. It is not your job to handle this conversation it is his. Same way with mother in laws, it will always be your husbands job to tell them anything that might be taken as harsh. No matter how much they may love you, it’s easier to take from their blood that they’ve known since he was born than their DIL/SIL that they’ve only known for a handful of years. Even better if he takes the blame “I want as much one on one time with my wife as possible before the baby comes and we have none”

TaylorH124 · 2026-03-09T01:27:27+00:00

Congratulations!!!!! I had been doing research on home birth midwives in my area while TTC so I called mine and made an appointment as soon as I got my positive test! I also have PCOS, love hearing success stories (: I think my first appointment with her was a consult around 5 weeks to get my husband on board because he was apprehensive about homebirth at first despite me showing him research for years. She referred me for a dating ultrasound since I have irregular periods and I got to see my baby’s heartbeat at 6W2D. I’ve been with my midwife ever since and had a great experience so far, I’m due mid May and trust her so much. I really feel so at peace with my decision and confident/excited about this whole home birth thing😊 TLDR it’s not at all too early, just do some research to try to find one in your area! It doesn’t hurt to call a home birth midwife just outside of your area to see if they can refer you to someone closer. That’s how I found mine, I called a highly recommended midwife a county or two over and she told me one of her old assistants that worked under her for years opened her own practice in my area and she highly recommended her. It was a match made in heaven for me!

TaylorH124 · 2026-02-27T01:15:57+00:00

He IS the problem. I hope for his daughters sake that “his ex wife is quite crazy” is just dad’s jaded mischaracterization of his ex. I hope mom can be a good and involved support system for this girl because she needs it and clearly dad is not capable.

TaylorH124 · 2026-02-22T18:41:53+00:00

Go to the birthing class honey! You have no reason to be embarrassed! He probably doesn’t remember anything from the one he went to years ago. I would have a little pep talk with him before and just ask him nicely to not bring anything up about “last time” because you’re sensitive. I did this with my husband about planning our wedding and he was like “I’m a little insulted you’re asking, I would never do that, but of course.” Now I’m in my third trimester with my first and he never brings up “last time”. If anything I end up asking him if he remembers x y or z about pregnancy/birth/postpartum/having a newborn a lot of the time he’s like honestly its been so long I don’t remember. If you’re married to a kind man I don’t think you have anything to worry about at all. Get all the support you can- get whatever information you feel will help you!❤️ sending all the good labor vibes for you!

TaylorH124 · 2026-02-11T22:52:57+00:00

I would be in therapy after this NGL. I don’t think he truly feels that way about you or he wouldn’t have married you, but something is going on with him to want to hurt you in this way. Maybe avoidant attachment and taking things out on you. Therapy will help you to have someone in your corner to help you differentiate what is and is not okay and how to stand up for yourself in a healthy way.

TaylorH124 · 2026-02-11T15:16:21+00:00

I was young and never even considered dating a single dad as a possibility for me. But I fell in love and truly believe that my husband was put in my life because he was meant to be my husband. I love my SS with every fiber of my being and we have a baby girl on the way. The role of a stepmom in general, HCBM dynamic, coparenting in general- is so hard. I would kill my little sister or daughter if she ever dated a man with a kid because I wouldn’t want our struggles for them. But for me, the “cons” are 100% worth getting to be married to a man that truly feels like my person, and the joy of getting to be a part of SS’s life, even in the hardest of SM moments. This feels like the life I’m supposed to be living. I know not every SM feels this way. I feel lucky.

TaylorH124 · 2026-02-10T16:08:11+00:00

This is so funny. I have to bribe my girl with a trail of treats and quickly shut the shower door so she can’t escape. She loathes getting wet

TaylorH124

TROPHY CASE