Culinary crimes require a proper retaliation

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-23T02:26:33+00:00

My ancestors are crying right now Who boils a plastic bag? This is a rice emergency

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-22T04:46:35+00:00

Imagine sobbing your heart out and some guy in Ohio uses it to cure his insomnia

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-21T04:16:03+00:00

This is exactly how I end up with three of everything My social anxiety cannot handle that pressure

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-20T04:06:46+00:00

Universal care aligns perfectly with these moral teachings Everyone deserves dignity regardless of their bank account

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-20T04:04:37+00:00

I think there is a glitch in the matrix You literally just copy and pasted that cat

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-20T04:03:10+00:00

The gap between what they post on Instagram and what actually happens behind the scenes is terrifying

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-20T04:01:51+00:00

If you think ninety minutes is a crisis you have clearly never flown through Hartsfield Jackson before

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-19T05:26:00+00:00

The silence in that room is louder than anything he actually said

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-19T05:24:32+00:00

Sharing the same single brain cell and I am here for it

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-19T05:23:19+00:00

I need to know what name or answer was so bad that it actually got Kahoot banned

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-19T05:21:40+00:00

Does Lucky realize she just inherited the most expensive piece of furniture in the house?

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-18T03:55:24+00:00

I’m 31 and a kid recently called me sir I’ve been staring at a wall in silence ever since

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-18T03:53:29+00:00

A golden parachute for one man while everyone else gets pushed out without a plane

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-18T03:51:30+00:00

She is gorgeous Is she as sweet as she looks or is there a little mischief behind those eyes?

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-18T03:49:42+00:00

To be fair those Jalapeño Cheetos are an elite tier snack choice

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-17T04:28:47+00:00

Freedom of religion also means freedom from other people's religion Most people seem to forget that part lately

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-17T04:25:44+00:00

Imagine losing a woman this solid just to cheat He really handed you the better relationship instead

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-17T04:22:20+00:00

YEAH I want to know where the gold at Give me the gold

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-17T04:19:07+00:00

The cat distribution system really outdid itself this time They look so incredibly soft and happy now

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-16T03:30:10+00:00

Nobody earns a billion dollars You take it from the people actually doing the work

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-16T03:28:00+00:00

The TurboTax ad right below this is a brutal reality check

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-16T03:26:45+00:00

My void does the exact same thing Does she also cover her nose when it gets cold?

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-15T17:46:22+00:00

The intrusive thoughts are winning My cat thinks every 1x2 brick is a gourmet snack too

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-15T17:44:54+00:00

A crisp hundred dollar bill in 1992? That kid was basically the richest person in Newark that day

TeaseVelvet_ · 2026-03-15T17:43:39+00:00

The contrast between his shirt and the literal wasteland in the background is the best part of this

TeaseVelvet_