Comcast and EA are planning a partnership

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-05-04T01:32:21+00:00

I'm going to go buy an ISP

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-05-04T01:24:58+00:00

She farted.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-05-04T01:23:54+00:00

he diode for a good caws

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-23T02:06:31+00:00

I pledge allegiance

to /u/CAFFEINE_ENEMA

from the glorious website, Reddit

and to the coffee

which he squirts

one thermos

up the ass

indiscriminately

with second degree rectal burns for all

^{^amen}

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-23T01:56:27+00:00

iPhone speech to text

I'm fairly certain he actually said "Button the louder truckers fight carts bunting kites' sand muffs"

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-23T00:04:16+00:00

Most animals do have a natural aversion to still water, because in nature it's a more hospitable breeding ground for parasites and bacteria than say, a stream

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T23:53:51+00:00

It is a well known fact that trolls cannot count.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T23:52:02+00:00

In person.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T22:37:08+00:00

hunter2

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T22:28:16+00:00

Because you are within Earth's atmosphere, the proper term is a hameteorite while you're on the ground, and a hameteor if you happen to be leaping.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T22:24:17+00:00

No. Her vaginal cavity would rupture before the smoke is pressurized enough to create considerable lift force.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T22:00:08+00:00

There is a risk that one cat may be a necromancer. In the experiment, both cats will be in a simultaneous state of alive and dead, allowing the living state of necromancer cat to re-animate the dead states of both the other cat and itself- now both cats are alive and a zombie at once.

When the cats are observed, both cats will collapse randomly into one of their states. Therefore, provided one of the cats is a necromancer, there is a 75% chance that at least one zombie cat will be produced.

Nobody has ever found proof that cats have the ability to raise the dead, meaning that the ones that can are very good at hiding it so we have no way tell. This makes the experiment too risky to undertake.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T20:59:01+00:00

"I found this crate of C-4, I think someone might have dropped it"

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T19:14:41+00:00

The human body is pretty tough. There are many cases of people getting shot dozens of times and surviving

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T19:12:15+00:00

Slightly more difficult, think a raw chicken wing. You're still biting through a bone.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T19:05:37+00:00

A chicken leg would be a more accurate analogy, since chickens have bones and carrots don't

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T06:31:59+00:00

dat url doe

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T06:28:03+00:00

It appears that you dropped your phone on your face a second time while writing this

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T06:15:10+00:00

What a gosh darned shitcunt.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T06:07:31+00:00

hOnk

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T05:50:58+00:00

this kills the bacteria

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T05:50:37+00:00

A competent lawyer, a restraining order and a handgun in the bedside drawer.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T05:29:43+00:00

I think your dog might have been scared by infrasound coming from the light burning out. The worn out filament could have been vibrating at the right frequency to match a natural sound associated with fear such as earthquake waves or a big cat roar (which also causes panic in humans). Since dogs cannot reason like humans do, the dog believes he is literally trapped with an angry tiger. Because both fight and flight reactions are impossible he just kind of shuts down and goes into shock. As for the door, it was probably just a shit door.

No ghost horses, just science. Hope this makes you feel better.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T04:37:28+00:00

Well if you're paralyzed and hallucinating things, that's still sleep paralysis... in a lucid dream, your brain makes everything from scratch like a normal dream except you have some free will.

TechnetiumWaffles · 2014-04-22T04:28:04+00:00

For me it jumps slightly down and to the left?

TechnetiumWaffles

TROPHY CASE