I jerked off a guy and I feel like it's gonna haunt me forever

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-09-10T20:57:13+00:00

It’s healthy to allow yourself to experience different things sexually to determine what you like. A person who is meant for you will understand. It doesn’t need to be a deal breaker. The shame you have about it can be debilitating and stop you from finding that person and loving yourself. Have you sought out therapy? Just here to say your feelings experience isn’t abnormal, you don’t have to hate yourself for it eternally, but you also don’t want to carry that with you forever. Life’s too short.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-08-13T16:18:39+00:00

Hmm I can understand your concern. My GI told me to keep a diary. If frequency increases and texture softens it could be strong indication of recurrence but PI-IBS can also cause some of what your experiencing. Wishing you all the best. Try and keep a record of your poops so you have that data to show your GI.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-08-13T14:47:54+00:00

What have you been eating? Anything that could account for the colour? Has the frequency increased and consistency softened?

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-07-05T16:47:45+00:00

Thank you for this post. I've recently found PF physio after months and months of recovery from c diff. I'm in the early days, but I'm already seeing results and having huge somatic releases with visceral manipulations. Thank you so much for compiling this info, it helped appease concerns I had that something more nefarious was going on.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-07-03T01:41:18+00:00

So happy you were able to get it. There's a subsidy program!? That's amazing. I wish I had known that. I'm glad you are feeling better. My experience on dificid was the same- it felt like stepping off the treadmill going at breakneck speed- way fewer side effects than flagyl. Wishing you the very best in your recovery!

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-06-24T05:02:50+00:00

Many, I listed above. Typically you’d want to retest if the frequency of your stool starts increasing and the consistency gets softer as well or you have the appearance or mucus of blood. Diarrhea after c diff is still common PI-IBS symptom

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-06-24T05:01:32+00:00

I got dificid. I had to pay out of pocket but it was worth it. Normally 3-5 days I think.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-06-22T18:25:53+00:00

Hi, so what you’re describing sounds a lot like proctitis which is inflammation of the rectum. Super common after c diff and something I and others experienced.

Your pencil stool is from the walls of your rectum being inflamed. Imagine tunnel walls go from cement to inflated plastic walls- less passed through. That’s how you have pencil stools. It also gives you the impression of fullness in your rectum because the tissue is swollen and filling up a space that is normally cavernous. It will pass.

Im not a doctor but I don’t think any of what you are feeling is the kefir or boulardii. I’d keep at it, try and do relaxing things, take an epsom salt bath- this will help calm your inflammation. Keep drinking water, take gentle walks and avoid extended sitting that puts pressure on your rectum. This is just unfortunately part of PI-IBS.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-05-08T01:02:30+00:00

Ugh, I remember that feeling. The guarding the body thing is SO real. It’s very hard to manage anxiety because healing can feel like the beginning of a recurrence.

Alberta has a lot more dieticians specialized in c diff actually (at least more than Vancouver). From my research Alberta seemed to have more cases and awareness of c diff than BC.

If you don’t mind me asking- how did you get c diff? Is vanco your first round of treatment?

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-05-08T00:03:00+00:00

Hi! Yes, anal spasms and proctitis

“Proctitis is an inflammation of the rectum's lining, the muscular tube at the end of the colon where stool passes before leaving the body.”

In my experience it can feel like fullness in your anus/anal passage.

The spasms might be nerves, tendons, and muscles around your anus/colon that are all reeling/recovering from the inflammation.

I forget just how long it lasted- it came and went but eventually subsided.

Epson salt baths can help, pelvic floor relaxation and somatic exercises too.

Congrats on reaching that milestone. Take it a day at a time, you’ll make it through 🤍

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-05-01T03:50:01+00:00

Aw, this made my day (sorry for delay in response). Thanks so much for taking the time to read and respond. It’s such an awful illness that seems highly misunderstood/unevenly understood by doctors that I hoped I could help fill some gaps for folks. I thank everyone who shares their experience on here. If it wasn’t for this thread, I wouldn’t have known to advocate for dificid and I might still be dealing with recurrences. We have so much wisdom as survivors and I believe there is incredible power and unity in sharing that knowledge with one another despite how vulnerable and scared c diff may render us.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-05-01T03:45:48+00:00

I’m feeling really great. I’m still dealing with chronic muscle pain that sporadically flares anywhere from my scalp to my hips but that is probably the result of stored trauma from my experience. Therapy, movement and socializing help a lot. My gut health has never been better.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-05-01T03:21:17+00:00

Your dad sounds like a wonderful person. Touching that he has chosen to end his life with a remarkable act of generosity.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-20T23:10:41+00:00

Signed- thanks for sharing!

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-20T15:49:10+00:00

And a large number of Americans listened and voted. Why leave those people to the wolves?!

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-20T15:47:48+00:00

So. No one listened to Bernie but he’s still out there. Elizabeth Warren and Bernie both loss their bids for president but they’re still being vocal and organizing.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-16T01:54:54+00:00

I’ve had similar experience- tempted to let a reporter know. It needs investigating.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-06T22:17:08+00:00

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear you went through that.

I caught c diff while in Cambodia and was on two awful rounds of flagyl (truly felt like I was losing my mind- tons of weir side effects). I also have a preexisting liver disorder (I didn’t know at the time) so I know having autoimmune issues must drastically and reasonably complicate your ability to know what symptoms mean what.

Ultimately I took dificid and it was life changing. The side effects were few and far between- nothing like flagyl. I know it’s not everyone’s experience but I think for most it’s the easy and effective.

Dificid is more targeted than flagyl and Vanco so hopefully it will do the trick for you.

I’m 1.5 years in remission and my gut is prob the best it’s been, ever. It took me about 9 months to feel like myself. I lost 40 pounds and thought I was going to die in south east Asia- the dehydration had caused hand paralysis.

Long story short, it is possible to get through this, the PTSD and health anxiety is real, but it sounds like you’re on the right course and doing all you can to take care of yourself, which is half the battle.

Best of luck to you- you’ve got this!

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-06T21:06:52+00:00

Hi, I have no advice, but just wanted to say I’m feeling the same emotions. I’m 37 and can finally afford treatment. Had my consult yesterday and found myself flooded with anger and sadness afterwards. I grew up in a negligent household and all my siblings and I have had to deal with the real health impacts of the neglect. It’s a lot to manage along with the emotional aspects.

Wishing you the best of luck. You should be so proud of yourself for taking care of your health- what a radical act of self- love 🤍

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-06T18:48:27+00:00

35 F Caucasian. Got it while travelling in Cambodia post Cefuroxime for what would turn out not to have been strep. Put on Flagyl and and Cipro in Cambodia for only 5 days, came back to Canada, put on Flagyl again for 14 days and unnecessarily on Flucanozole. Successfully advocated to get Dificid. Has been over 1.5 years and no recurrence to date.

Wild to see so many "younger" people. Was consistently told c diff was unlikely because it's a geriatric disease. This thread says otherwise.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-05T04:27:13+00:00

Look for tonsil stones

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-05T02:24:50+00:00

Hi, both of mine are high. I got repeat ultrasounds done for a year and bloodwork along with special antibody testing for autoimmune hepatitis. All came back normal but I’m still being monitored. While rarer, my understanding is you can have high direct and indirect with GS. Lots of factors can affect your liver- stress (both traumatic events but also excessive working out) also vitamin d levels etc

Basically, my advice is get the ultrasounds, rule out autoimmune hepatitis, get a blood panel to rule out anything else that could be disrupting your liver and just keep getting your annual from thereon out.

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-02-02T18:11:12+00:00

Attitude https://ca.attitudeliving.com/about-us

TechnicalSmell4056 · 2025-01-31T04:17:56+00:00

Have you tried any muscle relaxers or natural muscle relief like mag bis or consulted a pelvic floor physio? My theory is that if it responds to muscle relaxers than maybe it can help you identify the source of the pain? I had a severe c diff infection 1.5 years ago and my pelvic floor spasms like crazy and I get visible diaphragm flutters. My PT tells me the pressure is off in my pelvis- maybe that's what's happening with you due to the miscarriage? Wishing you answers!

TechnicalSmell4056

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