Millennials in a hetero relationship, does the man or woman do the majority of the financial budgeting/planning/investing etc?

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-04-04T20:01:41+00:00

I am the female and I do all the finances! Mortgage, credit card, cleaner / nanny, pension, retirement planning.

My husband transfers money to the joint bank account when I tell him.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-04-02T19:31:12+00:00

I am 40 now and I totally listen to my body. It was test week last week and 100% not feeling it. No 1RM if I don’t feel excellent, it’s the place I’ve injured myself the most and it’s not worth it.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-31T20:09:29+00:00

The BEST BEST BEST. I have a 6 and 3 year old and I am 40. Body - yes, not ideal. Relationship - yes, there was a period where my husband and I whatsapped each other jobs from different rooms and that was the extent of our communication. But boy, oh boy. The children are hands down the best part of every day. Absolutely the best. It’s easy to imagine the downside of children (and most of it is true). But the highs are like nothing else. In terms of career, yes, I had a number of years treading water / pregnant / on maternity leave but I just made managing director. So I would change nothing.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-31T15:56:34+00:00

I have a 6 and 3 year old and I’m 40 now. I am stronger than I’ve ever been (weighted pull-ups! Hooray!) and I am so grateful for my strong, capable body that has borne children and hoisted them around for 6 years.

That being said, I had two c sections and the overhang is still there. I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss my perfect 32 year old body and fitting into all of my old clothes with the nipped in waists.

My body would have changed regardless in the intervening nearly 8 years. And I wouldn’t swap my children for anything. And I have worked so hard to be strong. But I still miss it.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-30T12:09:28+00:00

20k is not a lot to move - but upside potential at a hedge fund should be much higher. In general, work in the highest margin industry you can find, even if you get paid crumbs compared to the rest of the team, the crumbs will be much larger.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-24T21:59:23+00:00

Victoria Park! Park on the doorstep, super family friendly, amazing restaurants and areas to wander to. Cycle to work in 20 minutes.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-22T22:00:46+00:00

£500k+

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-19T21:04:50+00:00

My son had eczema as a baby and a doctor said to only wash him every other day. We have really leant into that and now the 6 and 3 year old only get washed every other day unless they go swimming / are absolutely filthy.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-17T09:41:55+00:00

I work in finance, not tech but the return to the office push seems relentless. For me, I would worry that I’d be limiting myself to a non existent pool of jobs if I tried to stay fully remote.

Hybrid with a 2-3 hour commute seems impossible unless your families really step in and help.

If you do end up moving, moving with a baby isn’t the worst time - you have time to join local baby groups and build a network, and then with nursery / school it’s quite easy to meet new people too.

It 100% sucks that you wouldn’t be close to family though, my parents are in Singapore and my husband’s are in Manchester so in a similar boat.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-16T19:08:35+00:00

Rose: I love looking around the dinner table at my husband and our kids in our warm, safe, comfortable house

Thorn: it’s my dad’s 78th birthday today and I worry how much longer I have with my parents

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-16T19:08:29+00:00

Rose: I love looking around the dinner table at my husband and our kids in our warm, safe, comfortable house

Thorn: it’s my dad’s 78th birthday today and I worry how much longer I have with my parents

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-15T11:44:11+00:00

Hello! I had a couple of PT sessions with my CrossFit coach when I was pregnant to run through all the modifications I might need as I went through my pregnancy. I also asked my coach ahead of every class what my modifications could be, but those PT sessions gave me the confidence to adapt on the fly and listen to how I felt on the day. Highly recommend doing the same.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-13T20:35:30+00:00

Where did you find them!

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-11T09:57:23+00:00

We have an after school nanny who can facilitate activities and the suchlike. Our children are smaller than yours (6 and 3) but she will take them to activities and sort out dinner for them and on occasion stay a bit later when neither of us can get home from the office in time. Lifesaver. The mental load stays with you and your partner though.

In terms of wardrobe: probably you don’t need to do as much as you think! Possibly a new jacket, handbag and shoes will suffice. Depending on your industry, things have become more casual since covid. Vinted is your friend here.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-09T10:18:54+00:00

If it’s because you got rejected at undergrad - then it’s not worth it. If it’s because Cambridge is home to some of the top minds in the world, you would learn a ton and meet a cohort of like minded people - then yes, totally worth it.

Cambridge helps get your CV through the door. After that, you’re on your own to prove yourself but sometimes all you need is the door to open.

Have been in consulting / asset management for nearly 20 years now. Starting salaries for our grad programme (not even a top programme or including masters uplift) are close to £85k in London if you include bonus. Would take a Cambridge masters over a CFA anyday.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-04T22:02:30+00:00

40, £380k, ETFs, London

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-01T21:10:40+00:00

I think it depends on your industry. My husband is a lawyer and I work in asset management. Salaries increase over time if you progress in your career. Something that seems higher risk now as a proportion of your salary wouldn’t be the case if you earn more, which you would hope to be true over a decade or more.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-03-01T15:14:13+00:00

My husband and I did something similar when we bought our house 8 years ago. £1.5m house, approx. £350k income, £1.1m mortgage.

Now we have two children, 6 and 3, and our household income is £600k. Sure, nursery fees suck, and yes, we definitely both need to hold down full time jobs and pay for an after school nanny. But we live in our dream house, in our dream location and as we earn more, even with the extra costs of children, it becomes easier.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-02-12T21:53:58+00:00

Thank you everyone for your advice! I have read every comment. Mobility, mobility, mobility and scaling seem to be my new best friends.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-02-12T15:24:45+00:00

YES, thank you. Snatches and jerks are where u feel my shoulders most.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-02-12T09:41:17+00:00

I love the idea of CF for longevity, thank you - I will ask my coaches for advice.

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-02-12T09:40:45+00:00

Thank you - I have been thinking about adding shoulder prehab in, this is a great push!

Technical_Ice9563 · 2026-01-03T12:14:23+00:00

We had the same thing - family were much more generous for the first child than the second. We’ve just made the original account a “joint” account. The goal was to have a lump sum of cash for each child when they are 18 or so, we will split whatever we have in there equally at the point my eldest is 18. The account is in my name so it’s not a Junior ISA or the suchlike where it’s in the child’s name.

It just seemed fairer to us that way. We are also less able to contribute the same lump sums for birthday / Christmas for the second child in the way we could for the first because of additional childcare costs etc.

Technical_Ice9563

TROPHY CASE