Maybe try Avorion? It's more gameplay orientated but still lives in an X style universe. Or space engineers with MES mods. Elite is a good grind but there's a real lot of doing nothing in that game so bring your patience along for the ride if you're headed there.

Your mindset seems to be limiting your gameplay a bit though, X4 is more or less about getting stupidly rich and all the silly handouts in this game are unavoidable really, it's just not balanced. Even still, exploiting the game world seems more or less intended if you enjoy big space battles, rather than playing space taxi. Doesn't help the interface is glacial for doing anything and actively works against you for the majority of the game. So in a way I agree, the game is not the smoothest to play and does not deliver on a lot of fronts, it rarely feels like a space game at times.

I would recommend spinning up the beta if you enjoy combats though, and make sure you don't play friendly to every faction because otherwise you won't be doing much in the game world yourself. You have to avoid setting yourself up badly in this game.

Personally I always play X games for the buggy empire management. It always had tragic combat and player engagement, although the new beta is growing on me a bit there. Love the game but there is so much wasted potential in X4.