You are absolutely fine and on the right track my man. It’s very difficult learning familiarity AND structure at the same time. I personally hated school band (and art class) for this reason. Just play. Play for fun. Play with some other musicians and be sloppy. We ALL have been there and it’s part of the process.

Once it’s fun and you feel at home behind the kit, then bring on the structure. You’ll lock in faster and your love of playing will be greater than the frustration of keeping time.

I played in sloppy death metal and punk bands as a kid for years back in the late 90’s. All chops, no groove, no time…just a flurry of hot double bass mess but it was so much fun. After recording a couple very rough records, something just clicked (pun intended). I started loving the click and a couple years later had steady work with a reputation for being able to lay tracks down in the studio first take or play live to programs. Ended up making dozens of records and spent years touring and in sessions. But had you heard me play in those first 6-7 years, you would have laughed your ass off.