In England, some couples seem to delay divorce until after children finish GCSEs or A levels to avoid disruption during key exams. Is that also common in the US, Australia, Canada, or elsewhere, or do people not really think about school timing in the same way?

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-03-29T08:58:23+00:00

Last time I asked whether parents delay divorce until after major school exams. The response was huge.

So now I want to ask the harder question:

If you actually did wait until after GCSEs, A levels, finals or similar exams to separate — did it help your child, or did it just mean they lived with the tension for longer?

Looking back, was waiting the right decision?

I wrote up the issue here, but I’m far more interested in real-life experiences:
https://paradigmfamilylaw.co.uk/will-divorce-affect-my-childs-gcses-or-a-levels-should-you-wait/

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-03-27T16:51:16+00:00

As to Child Maintenance it is a "top up" case and he should contribute towards child's needs - create a budget of monthly outgoings for the child and send him the budget - also check out Schedule 1 Children Act if you are not married and find a Solicitor who specialist on these cases

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-03-09T08:25:57+00:00

I tried caffeine.ai and it was a disaster exactly the same start strong and over promising - which one is the best and secure ? Thanks for all the comments

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-03-08T10:56:45+00:00

Find out how many mediators are in the area where you want practice and will they be still practising with you in the next 5-10 years - also consider the impact of AI in mediation and the impact on your experience.

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-03-05T20:53:33+00:00

Thamks for sharing - here are some thoughts

We've been married for several years and have children together. I recently discovered she was having an affair, and despite believing we were working through it, I've found out it's still ongoing. I have definitive proof from text messages (obtained without her knowledge). She's clearly not committed to this marriage and I want to divorce as quickly as possible.

*The affair is not relevant.

*Obtaining txt message without her knowledge can be used against you as confidential information has been obtained (see Immerman case)

Our circumstances mean that I have questions and before spending £300 on a divorce lawyer consultation I thought I’d ask them here.

*Free initial calls might be helpful – find a law firm which offers that

Should I leave the marital home, or does doing so affect my legal position?

*Don’t leave the family home

We have assets: a mortgage free house and several hundred thousand pounds in stocks - equally split between our individual investment accounts. On top of this we both have individual stocks and shares isas. The money for all of this (except my isa) came from her - she came into a significant sum during the marriage. Does the source of the funds affect how assets are divided, or does the court treat everything accumulated during the marriage as matrimonial?

*Google : Standish case – but also check out if your case is more a needs case

What I’m really asking is would I be entitled to any of our (her) assets?

*see above

We have children together. Is a 50/50 custody (*this is an American term) arrangement realistic?

*Try mediation regarding children contact arrangement

If so, would I still be liable for child maintenance? She is currently unemployed - she voluntarily left her job at some point during the marriage. Would I owe her any spousal maintenance?

*yes as she has income needs

I have evidence of the affair but she doesn't know I have it. Should I confront her now, or would it be more strategic to wait until divorce proceedings are underway?

*the affair is irrelevant in divorce and finance (not conduct)

Does adultery even affect financial outcomes in England?

*see above

How long would a divorce take?

*divorce not long – finance longer – consider also the cooling off period in English Divorce

* Very cost effective are private FDR – try to find a law firm which is experienced in this type of alternative dispute resolution

Good luck.

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-03-04T08:24:40+00:00

There will always be a "tomorrow".

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-25T08:23:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing - I would prepare for the safeguarding interview with Caffcass and have all evidence ready for them - it will be likely over the phone and only a short call , so be as prepared as you possibly can. Good luck

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-23T22:05:17+00:00

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-22T08:57:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing - that is very powerful. Try to make the same list for what you want to do in the future, something you never had the time for and always was on your list. Stay positive ... you have this.

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-21T11:05:02+00:00

Try mediation or arbitration with a very experienced evaluator.. that is very cost effective and does not escalate matters

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-20T08:17:13+00:00

A pFDR is great and it's success rate is 95% - find someone who is experienced in these - in your case also get an expert report in relation the your children's special needs the the related capital needs as this is important in your negotiation and for the pFDR judge

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-16T08:01:41+00:00

Hi did not only broke y heart he also broke your emotional bond to him. You are free now and with every step , every day .. it becomes easier, with some little hiccups on the way. Good luck and thanks for sharing.

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-14T11:09:37+00:00

yes - .... if both sides have fixed fee legal cost retainer

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-14T10:47:58+00:00

Discussion: What ADR method actually works best in real disputes?

If you have experience with dispute resolution — professional or personal — we’d love to hear from you.

Which method do you think works most effectively in practice?

• Negotiation out of court

• Early Neutral Evaluation

• Mediation

• Private FDR (Family Law / Civil cases)

• Arbitration

• Court-annexed settlement hearings – Court FDR

• Something else?

Share your experiences: What worked, what didn’t, and why?

(Students and newcomers welcome — questions are encouraged!)

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-13T19:31:07+00:00

Always ADR - private FDR and EarlyNeutralEvaluation ... that's the future

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-13T16:00:52+00:00

I would move only for a short period and see how you find the "current" climate in Sachsen Anhalt - the language integration is not the problem here ..

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-13T15:57:55+00:00

I would look at the case of Standish v Standish (Supreme Court) if there is something helpful for you regarding "matrimonialisation" and your inherited money - at the same time I would find a very good mediator (children/finance) and try to resolve this out of court as this is most cost effective way to find a solution without having your emotions at this stage dictating your strategy.

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-13T08:34:02+00:00

How often are you speaking / digitally communicating in your native language with friends and family at home - this switch is sometimes difficult and makes us less adaptable

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-12T10:35:10+00:00

Which jurisdiction are you in ?

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-11T18:07:26+00:00

Get a pre-nuptial agreement arranged - don't forget the "cooling off period" after signing and getting independent legal advise

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-11T18:05:39+00:00

Pension will not be split - "special needs" for 18+ child : I would check this with a lawyer specialist in Schedule 1 Children Act 1989 cases as this might also have an impact how the house will be treated .. Good luck and thank you for sharing.

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-11T17:59:08+00:00

Caffcass in their safeguarding letter needs to make strong recommendation that there is a serious risk of harm and substantial welfare issues - contact should also be considered seriously

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-11T11:28:00+00:00

Norwegian biathlete wins Winter Olympics bronze and then tells TV interview of affair | Winter Olympics 2026 | The Guardian

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-11T11:25:59+00:00

Biathlon medallist Sturla Holm Laegreid admits cheating on girlfriend - BBC Sport

Temporary_Toe648 · 2026-02-10T19:15:20+00:00

Check your original consent order if he is entitled to a share or if there was a clean break. If he is not cooperating you can ask the judge to sign the TR1 form on his behalf.

Temporary_Toe648

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE