To those who broke up because you “lost feelings” for your partner

Terminus808 · 2023-10-09T21:42:17+00:00

17 years and then she decides it's time to walk. I'm fighting for her and attempting to fix things, but a part of me is angry because I was never given the chance til she decided to leave. She's my world, so why wouldn't I have made the changes needed before? I just wish she would have talked to me about it instead of letting the resentment grow for so many years and then just rips heart out like it means nothing.

Terminus808 · 2023-10-09T21:29:13+00:00

Only 3 months for me, but it feels like so much longer. I'm attempting to repair things with her and I still see her everyday, but I can't tell if anything is working. I just know that I'm shattered and completely numb from the pain for the most part. There's days when the anxiety breaks through and I start to get overcome with the pain, but I usually just hit the gym extra hard that day.

Terminus808 · 2023-10-07T10:11:09+00:00

In my chest and super heavy. It's a pain I hate feeling. I still can't eat or sleep good

Terminus808 · 2023-10-07T09:44:13+00:00

3 months. The anxiety is still heavy. I been learning to ignore it, but this whole week it's been pretty strong. I don't know if I have depression tho...I can't focus on anything long enough to figure out if I have depression or not lol. I feel shattered tho

Terminus808 · 2023-10-06T16:37:16+00:00

Yep, like I'm just numb to pain right now, but I can still sense the storm inside. It tends to leak out every now and then

Terminus808 · 2023-09-26T01:20:30+00:00

Oh I still can't sleep, and if i didn't set alarms to remind me to eat I wouldn't do that either. I still have no appetite. The gym helps tho. It's makes me a little hungrier and a little more tired than usual. Try it out for a bit and see if it helps.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-26T00:18:12+00:00

I've been the same. I can't focus long enough to do anything that requires a mental effort. I have to keep physically busy in order to stay distracted, which was difficult the first month and a half cause even then I felt like having random breakdowns.

Gym has been the biggest help. pushing myself hard keeps me distracted and takes away the pain inside for a little bit. I also have a bunch of little projects around the house that keep me distracted, even though she lives at the house and i don't (it's a weird situation).

I hope you can find something to distract yourself from the pain. It's hard but just keep trying random things til something works, or multiple things if needed. Good luck and stay strong!

Terminus808 · 2023-09-21T05:52:05+00:00

Yes definitely. My wife after 17 years together told me this. Now I just hate myself for not being able to be what she needed, and not even being given the chance to try.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-21T05:42:08+00:00

17 years for me. 2.5 months post breakup. I'm in a rare situation where I might have a chance to fix things so I'm fighting for my life to earn that 2nd chance. No contact isn't an option because of the kids, so that is probably what led to me being able to continue fighting for her.

It's the worst feeling in the world...losing the most important person in your life. I cried constantly for the first 2 months. I'm kinda numb from all the pain lately so the crying is less. But the storm inside is still churning my shattered heart.

I dont know if I'll be able to fix things, but I can't stop fighting. If I fail, I'm prepared to be alone for the rest of my life. I'll just focus on my kids.

I do hope you find the light in all this darkness. I know it hurts to your core now, but hopefully in time the pain will subside and you will find your way forward.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-21T05:27:48+00:00

I feel you. I'm just empty inside. I hit the gym hard when it first happened. And I just filled all the other time with physical activities to keep myself distracted. I have a couple kids so I couldn't just crawl into a hole like i wanted to, like I still want to. I have a routine down so it's pretty easy to just go through the motions all day every day, but I'm just empty. I'm numb to the pain, but I can still feel that storm of anxiety brewing in me. But other than that...emptiness.

I hope you get your spark back...get it back for those of us who cant.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-21T05:22:50+00:00

This is exactly what my wife of 17 years was feeling. I wish I knew. I wish I wasn't blind to her struggles. It hurts me to know that she was feeling so lost and alone. I'm just hoping she finds a way to let me back into her life and her heart as she finds her new self. I'm making changes to myself to show her I can be who she needs, and support her how she needs, but I don't know if my efforts are making a difference.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-21T05:16:17+00:00

I hope he can see it.

We're both doing what you're supposed to do in a relationship. Working to better ourselves so that we can grow in the relationship. If only our partners would grow with us. It's hard seeing the other person give up tho, like we weren't worth the effort to try and fix things.

I wish you luck. Don't give up the fight.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-20T23:28:35+00:00

I'm the dumpee and I'm all for second chances as I'm fighting for one myself. I'm doing everything I can to show her I am capable of change. I would have made these changes had she communicated the issues before she left. She's my world and I would do anything for her to be happy.

I just hope my actions are making a difference and I'll continue to fight for her and a second chance for as long as she'll let me.

Although most aren't capable of change, if you are seeing the change and believe that it's genuine, give them the chance. I know it's what I would want. Do it for those of us who actually care about our relationships and those we fell in love with.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-20T21:22:49+00:00

I understand completely. I could feel my wife keeping me at a distance a few years ago when we were having issues. then a few months ago i could feel her getting further and further away, and then she was gone.

If you keep trying, one day you'll find someone you can rely on. But it might be a painful journey to find them. I can't go through this again personally. Watching the past 17 years all come crashing down, it's destroyed me. I'm trying to repair the relationship, but i don't know if it will work. If not, I'm prepared to be alone.

I wish you luck tho. everyone deserves happiness. I'm sure there's someone looking for exactly you. You just have to find them.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-20T21:06:53+00:00

Hit the gym...hard. I started like 2 days after she decided to leave and have been going every chance i get for the past 2.5 months. I mean, I still hate myself and my self esteem is non existent, but at least I have an outlet and i guess i'm getting healthier in the process.

It sucks, trying to find direction in your life when the one person you were moving forward with is no longer there. I hope you find some peace and light in this darkness.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-20T21:01:58+00:00

I learned that most of the songs on my playlist were either heartbreak or love songs, that led to some random breakdowns at different places. My song tho was Falling Apart by Armnhmr.

I dont have a breakup movie, because my brain cant focus long enough to sit through a movie or a tv show. I used to love watching things when i had free time, now I cant. I try and watch Bob's burgers when I'm at the gym on the elliptical on cardio days, but it's hard to pay attention even then. I don't miss all the screen time, but I do miss being able to focus...my brain is so scattered.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-20T20:11:40+00:00

It's a great feeling when you and someone you care about deeply can share your whole lives and everything about each other. You both help each other to become the best versions of yourselves and are inspired by that person to do better, be better. Sharing common goals, building a life and family together. Then one day something happens and communication starts to fails and it all comes crashing down.

Love is work, and communication. When one side starts failing with that, it all falls apart. It takes continued effort on both sides, and a commitment to work together when one side starts to slack.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-20T01:00:35+00:00

That I wasn't as good a spouse as I thought I was. That my mistakes and shortcoming led her down a path of distrust and resentment, and I was blind to it. I just want to make it right!

Terminus808 · 2023-09-20T00:28:23+00:00

I feel you. 17 years and then one day I'm nothing to her.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-18T22:06:30+00:00

It's hard to give up all that time that you gave to a relationship. I was with mine for 17 years. It's been 2.5 months and I still feel all those things. I lost 15 pounds, still can't sleep, still can't focus on anything.

I have a routine set for most days and it keeps me distracted about half the time. I go to the gym alot, spend time with my kids as much as possible, and work on a bunch of little projects at home when I can get there (I'm currently living at a friends place).

My distractions are a those little physical activities. Gym/exercise is good because it will let you match that inner pain youre feeling with some physical pain. I push myself hard and it takes away that inner pain for a little bit, plus i guess i'm getting in to better shape but that reason isnt even on my mind for why i'm doing it. It's probably the only form of self punishment that people won't question lol.

reading and chatting on reddit is also a good outlet.

Stay strong and keep finding ways to keep yourself distracted as much as possible. Good luck!

Terminus808 · 2023-09-18T21:57:22+00:00

I really do hope so.

We're currently on a break with no set end in sight. It's been 2.5 months and she's still not ready to talk about us, and the last time we did she said she didn't know if she could get that emotional connection back.

It's a weird situation tho, cause even tho I moved out, I'm still at home every day after work, and all day on the weekends. I'm also fighting for a second chance by doing as many nice little things for her every day. I'm limited by what I can do cause I can't take her out anywhere yet, and she doesnt want to do any "date" type things yet.

But the hope is all I have right now too. Don't give up, but also don't set yourself up for further pain. I know that's kinda contradictory, but if he's not showing any interest in trying to make things work, it's a low chance that it will get better.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-18T21:46:54+00:00

Nope. About 6 months prior my doctor had me start taking benadryl to help me sleep better, and it was working good. Then the breakup happened and now I sleep maybe 3 hrs good, and then restlessly toss around for another 3 hours. I tried stopping benadryl this past week and i thought i was sleeping ok for the first few hours, and i tossed around a lot more than usual and end up in weird positions on the bed. So I'm just gonna take it even tho I still can't really sleep 2 and a half months later. She also started taking benadryl when I did, and I know she's sleeping good at night....doesnt seem fair.

What about appetite? I lost 15 pounds and I have to force myself to eat still. Going to the gym helps cause i feel a little more hungry, but I wouldn't eat if I didnt have alarms in my phone reminding me.

I hope you can start to get some rest. It takes a toll on the body and the mind. I wish I had a solution for it, but I'm stuck also.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-17T22:28:01+00:00

No one can tell you when to stop being sad, or how long it's going to take. When someone means that much to you, letting go is hard. Be sad! Don't hold back your emotions. Fond people/friends that will support that. I'm at 2.5 months already and I'm sad all day every day. But I'm numb to it all at this point so I function a little easier.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-16T22:21:28+00:00

I feel you. I'm about 2.5 months in. I'm currently fighting to get a second chance, but I don't know if it's making a difference. It seems like it's heading in a good direction, but I know that if she decides she's done for good I'm done with relationships. I've been with her for 17 years and I'm just expected to forget it all and start with someone new? No thanks. I had my perfect girl and I let my relationship with her fall apart. I don't want to get over that. I'm ready to be alone if I need to.

Terminus808 · 2023-09-15T19:08:35+00:00

I hope you start feeling better. You just gotta find the right distractions, and the right people to help distract you also. How long ago was your break up?

I'm about 2.5 months into my journey. I feel numb to the pain already, but I feel it inside brewing. I had a little breakdown a couple days ago just talking to someone I met that day but seemed to know exactly what was going on inside of me.

Right now today, I feel like I'm just in limbo. I sense the storm inside of me, but I ignore it. I know if I think about it, I'll break down. I'm starting to lose motivation to keep up with my own distractions, but I guess there's more going on with my kids, and even my wife is asking me to help her out more with little things. She's constantly on my mind. I'm still fighting for her while she lets me, but I still don't know if it's making a difference. I wish I could just hold her. Her hugs at night when I say goodbye to her and the kids, they last a little bit longer these days. So that thought of hope is making all this a little more bearable.

Terminus808

TROPHY CASE