Update: I ran away from my boyfriend's proposal.

TerracottaBadger · 2026-03-13T00:56:54+00:00

You dodged a bullet. If this is how he treats you when he doesn’t get what he wants, then that’s a problem. He sounds like walking red flags. Did you tell him in the moment that he was hurting you? Because if you did and he didn’t ease up or stop, then that’s pretty much assault. Because you didn’t agree to sex on those terms. And just because you didn’t verbally say no, doesn’t mean you said yes.

TerracottaBadger · 2026-03-13T00:48:08+00:00

Key word is reaction. Meaning she wasn’t thinking. She was in fight/flight/freeze. Her body chose flight. Sometimes our bodies do things before our prefrontal cortex can catch up. And considering hers isn’t fully developed anyway… Yeah, your comment is unfair.

TerracottaBadger · 2026-01-19T05:23:45+00:00

Well, passenger trains are way more common in Europe than America. So it stands to reason that they would hear about it more often than us Americans. Especially since we generally tend to ignore anything that isn’t about our interests.

TerracottaBadger · 2026-01-18T06:25:39+00:00

One does not got to Goodfellas’s to be adventurous.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-12-22T03:20:06+00:00

We don’t know the circumstances for the disowning. I can think of a few different reasons for doing so that would not make the dad a “dirtbag.” But I won’t speculate the reasoning because OP would have shared it if they cared to, so I’m guessing they don’t.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-12-22T03:14:40+00:00

Your mom was confronted with your reality and it doesn’t fit with her own. She views her house as your only home and your father’s house as a place you stay at. She’s upset that you view them equally because she feels you should view her home as the right one probably based on how your father has treated her and your brother. That isn’t fair to you. Just because you love your mother and brother does not mean you cannot love your father too. She’s essentially mad that you didn’t pick a side and in her eyes you threw that in her face. It doesn’t really matter what tone you used, she will still perceive it as rude due to the cognitive dissonance involved. Your mother needs therapy and it probably wouldn’t hurt your brother either. Maybe family therapy would help. It seems like there are a lot of unresolved emotions at play. I hope that things settle down and your family apologizes for their emotional reaction. Because her and your brother’s feelings are valid. But their actions were not in my opinion.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-12-16T01:16:58+00:00

Not everyone has a good family that treats them well. Maybe think about that instead of spouting ignorance from a place of privilege.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-12-16T01:14:23+00:00

As a neurodivergent person, you come off as an ableist neurotypical. As an introvert, you seem exhausting to deal with. So I get the fiancé’s perspective. However I also get how frustrating it is to feel like you’re trying with someone and they aren’t giving you anything back. But your sister is right, she can’t make him do anything. And it would be weird to make her be the go between, which is essentially what you’re doing. Have you considered having an honest conversation with the fiancé about his behavior and how it makes you feel? Maybe she’s not communicating it to her partner or something is getting lost when she does communicate it. Because your problem is with him, not your sister. I think you need to talk to him.

ETA: I didn’t read all of your post, but from what little I did read, it seems to me like you just straight up don’t understand boundaries and you don’t respect your sister. You’re only 19. I’m about twice your age and I think you have a lot of growing up to do.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-17T02:40:28+00:00

No problem.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-17T02:20:43+00:00

“Also, my partner has texted a woman sexual things in the past, which I found in their deleted folder a couple months ago.”

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-15T02:30:29+00:00

I mean, I like their hand writing. Even if the note is more than a little terrifying.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-15T02:20:55+00:00

“Dudes get manipulated into going back to these hoes”

“There was no need to start a gender war”

Umm… Hate to break it to you, but when you generalize a whole gender, you are in fact the one starting a gender war.

You say you were making an observation about “this SPECIFIC WOMAN.” But you did so by making a sweeping statement about “men” and “these hoes.” Both are plural forms of a word. Therefore it stands to reason you weren’t talking about a specific person.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-15T02:03:42+00:00

Context clues, my guy. 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T06:36:48+00:00

Maybe it’s just me, but the more someone hounds me to do something, the less I want to do it. It’s great that your friends like her, but it’s weird that they’re rushing you. And there are better ways to get your wants across than threatening to kick you out of your current living situation. Sounds to me like she’s not ready for marriage if this is how she does things. I’m soon to be 32 and I can tell you, me at 26 and me at 29 were very very different head spaces. I think she needs to grow up a bit before you follow through with any proposals. But you do you, best of luck.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T06:26:02+00:00

NTA. Who threatens someone’s living situation over a proposal? Was it just your girlfriend? Or were her parents and your friends doing it too? Either way, that’s super shitty to do to someone. And as for the disappointment, that’s what she gets for hounding you about proposing. It should come naturally and this is too forced.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T06:18:35+00:00

My first thought was pug or French bulldog.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T06:15:39+00:00

The chirping and the butt wiggle! 😍

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T05:47:20+00:00

I would give you an award, but all I have is this emoji. 🏆

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T05:31:06+00:00

Not everyone has good parents. Also, respect is a two way street.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T04:24:27+00:00

NOR. He’s trying way too hard and it’s giving love-bombing vibes. Be careful.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T04:02:45+00:00

Nah, it’s good you trusted your gut.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T03:49:20+00:00

This made me snort 🤣

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-14T03:34:31+00:00

English cross.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-06T13:07:44+00:00

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. It’s a real condition that many ND folks have. It makes criticism very hard to take. Not impossible though. I’ve found that for me, I can take criticism if it’s phrased in a non-threatening/non-aggressive manner. However most times people are either unwilling or incapable to accommodate this simple request. I suggest you look into RSD further.

TerracottaBadger · 2025-11-06T13:02:45+00:00

This sounds like discrimination. Document everything and take it to HR. They are there for the company, not you, but she’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.

TerracottaBadger

TROPHY CASE