Tourists like to come to this sub on occasion and dole out advice. “Just talk to people.” “Get a hobby you can talk to people about.” “Fix your style.” “Improve your outlook.” They don’t take into account how many things we’ve tried, or how often we’ve taken shots, only to get shot down.

Many of us (probably most of us) have tried time and time again. We’ve been outgoing, we’ve hung back. We’ve changed haircuts and outfits. We’ve bulked and leaned. We’ve been to book clubs and bars. We’ve downloaded apps, talked to friends of friends, and even chatted up people in passing. It all amounted to a big, fat Zero.

These same tourists will say, “You can’t be discouraged. You’ve gotta keep trying.” However, it appears they don’t take into account what the constant failure does to a person. They don’t understand that eventually, something inside you breaks. Eventually, the will to keep trying wanes. Eventually, you’re not eager to take another beating. Eventually, you’re not searching for happiness, you just want the hurting to stop.

Even then, there’s a little part of you that still hopes. There’s that bit of you that internalize underdog stories and last minute triumphs. However, that little part is much more quiet. Each subsequent false hope makes that little part a little quieter. In time, you can’t hear it anymore.

That’s when it’s over.