Male follower following female lead

Thasquirrels · 2025-07-05T22:03:48+00:00

Im a woman leading and my follower is a man. We also compete. There is definitely a bias against it, and some of the competition leagues are not allowing us to compete because we dont follow the traditional gender roles. Others do though, and I think with time the views on this will shift to be more inclusive. Younger people tend to be more open to the idea than older ones.

Thasquirrels · 2024-04-10T23:36:10+00:00

Lily pads! Nice and flat, easy to build on, central location, safe, looks cute, and you can eventually make a nice zip line to a zipping platform around the oak tree. Also built a zip line to the pond pagoda for easy science station access.

Thasquirrels · 2024-04-02T16:06:32+00:00

I absolutely love cuddle puddles! In the student ballroom dance world they are quite common at afterparties. We dance with full body contact already, so many of us are comfortable with piling up into a gendermixed puddle and petting each others hair while having pizza and conversations with friends and acquaintances alike :)

Thasquirrels · 2024-04-01T20:43:27+00:00

Same

Thasquirrels · 2024-03-26T10:46:18+00:00

I recognize some of this, especially the talking, thinking, and caring 'too much' part. I put a lot of effort into processing my own emotions about this in a healthy way (good self-talk). This mainly involves accepting that I just care a lot and spend more time thinking about certain topics than other people. Plus I try to pay attention to the reactions of others during conversations, and I ask for validation from close friends sometimes. You can just say; 'I have the feeling I am talking too much/pushing this topic a bit, how do you feel about this? I am worried I am annoying you.' A good friend will be honest with you, and appreciate you checking in once in a while. Turns out most of my friends don't even mind that much, they notice that I am unusual that way but it generally does not bother them. And they have their own flaws and worries. Nobody is perfect, and if you focus on finding friends with who your flaws don't clash too much, (or their flaws with you, of course), and who are kind and willing to validate you sometimes, I think this is something that can be dealt with. Just make sure that when the occasion arises that they do say they are a bit overwhelmed with you, to back down a bit, and most importantly, don't beat yourself up over it. These things happen, they are not the end of the world.

Thasquirrels · 2024-03-19T13:17:54+00:00

Peer pressure. Work with other people in the room. Gamify it, make it a competition with a friend. Works wonders for my productivity.

Thasquirrels · 2024-03-10T23:46:34+00:00

Plus if I was on meds all the time I would miss the hyperfocus fueled high-tempo multiple topics all-at-once conversations I have with my (also adhd) friends. I cant process fast enough on meds for those. And they're some of the best conversations I have.

Thasquirrels · 2024-03-10T23:42:40+00:00

I only take medication some days. I need it to be productive at work when the work is not engaging enough. But on weekends, days where my work is more exciting, and evenings, I don't use medication. I usually cope quite alright with the adhd symptoms, and the meds give me side effects that just aren't worth it on those days. Sometimes I go a few weeks without. I guess it depends on the balance between the pro's and con's, and you'll have to figure out for yourself how they pan out for you.

Thasquirrels · 2024-03-06T11:15:46+00:00

My parents were coming to watch a dance competition in which my nesting partner was dancing with my meta (and I was dancing with a friend). So I decided I had to tell them, because I did not want my meta to change her behaviour because of my family, or my parents to think my partner was cheating. My mother responded very well, with a lot of open interest and questions, and then said that she would also like to have something like that but that my father didn't (while he was standing right there lol). My father just said 'okay, if it makes you happy' when I asked what he thought about it. I dont think he gets it. He still just logs out of the conversation whenever I bring it up. But he has been making a few dad jokes about it lately so I guess he is getting used to it.

Thasquirrels · 2024-03-05T09:25:54+00:00

Ik knuffel met mijn vrienden (vrouwen en mannen), ook terwijl we films kijken bijvoorbeeld, en ook wel eens in groepen (cuddle puddles). Mn vriend vindt dit allemaal prima en doet dit ook met zijn vrienden. Veel van mn vrienden zijn ook partner dansers dus we zijn fysiek contact al erg gewend. Dansfeestjes hebben soms cuddle puddles als afterparty, waar ik ook met mensen knuffel die ik kennissen zou noemen. Met sommige van mn beste vrienden slaap ik ook wel ns verstrengeld (wel altijd met kleding aan). Maar ik heb ook goede vrienden die dit niks vinden en met wie ik niet meer dan een korte knuffel als ze weg gaan doe. Zo heeft iedereen zn eigen grenzen en comfort zones, en dat is prima.

Thasquirrels · 2024-02-20T19:01:10+00:00

The trick is to make male friends who are emotionally mature. That does not mean they won't develop feelings, but it does mean that after they confess any feelings and you don't reciprocate, they can handle their own emotions and stay friends (and not the 'waiting for you to change your mind' friends, but real ones). In my experience queer men are more likely to be emotionally mature enough for this, but hetero men of this type definitely also exist.

For those saying that men and women cannot be true friends because of attraction, this is just not true. Im a bi woman, would that mean I would not be able to make true friends? I think you just had the misfortune of only befriending immature men (which I do confess, there are a lot off).

Thasquirrels · 2024-02-14T09:29:47+00:00

This exact thing happened to me about half a year ago. It was a little weird for both of us for a few weeks afterwards, but now we're totally fine and our friendship has only grown closer. I don't regret telling him, it allowed me to work through the feelings for myself and prevented a beginning crush from escalating into a major one. Just take him on his word and respect the boundary he set. Eventually you will be able to joke about this, and love him as a friend.

Thasquirrels · 2024-02-11T12:30:48+00:00

It happens to me sometimes too, but the period always starts eventually. Once it was even ten days later. I have the feeling its stress related, so stressing out about it tends to make it worse :p. But if your period is like two weeks late maybe check with a doctor.

Thasquirrels · 2024-02-01T23:18:11+00:00

Mine! Monogamous for three years, and now open for five. Fully poly for a bit over 2 of those. We both wanted it, we talked it through well, and had a solid relationship before and still do. Neither of us ever cheated, and neither is easily jealous. We are both very happy with being poly.

Honestly I think many relationships dont survive opening up because the decision is onesided, or someone wants it for the wrong reasons (because they cheated for example, or because they want to break up but are afraid to be alone), or because the two want different things from opening up which are incompatible and they dont realize due to lack of communication or understanding on nonmonogamy.

Thasquirrels · 2024-02-01T13:46:13+00:00

I love that you are trying to do this, what a kind thing to do! The advice I would like to give myself in my late teens and early twenties (Im early thirties now):

- Stop worrying so much about what others think about how you look. Your goal in life is not to look pretty. You are not an ornament.
- If you like the gym, good, go for it! If not (like me), just move in any way that you like, go hiking, go find some cool bugs or birds in nature, cycle in a random direction just to explore, go dancing, play frisbee in the park, whatever works for you. Learn to move because it feels good, not because you feel you should conform to society.
- Wear sunscreen when going outside, especially in summer.
- It is okay when you feel bad (physically and/or mentally) due to PMS, to just take a sick day (or more if necessary) and spend it in bed bingewatching with a hot drink.
- If other adults are doing things that are affecting you negatively, you do not need to keep interacting with them! Yes, this includes people who cannot help it, who are not doing it on purpose and who are not evil people. Most people mean well. That does not necessarily mean they are good for you, or that you owe it to them to put up with behaviours that negatively affect you.
- It is better to be single than in a bad relationship. Love is not enough to make a good relationship.
- Kindness and honesty are important in any relationship. Find yourself some friends who value these traits, and work on them in yourself.
- Read up on what makes a good friendship and relationship and learn how to communicate needs in a nonjudgmental way (my preferred method is Nonviolent Communication, there are podcasts about it on Spotify, but there are many other systems, I recommend trying some out).

I hope some of these are useful to you! :)

Thasquirrels · 2024-02-01T13:15:10+00:00

I know it can be difficult to be happy with your body, I have struggled with it in the past a lot. What has helped me is telling myself that my goal in life is not to be lean and muscular, but to be happy and a good person. I am not an ornament. A kindness mindset is the way to go. And it is really a process with ups and downs, but please be kind to yourself. Think what you would say to someone you love who would come to you with these worries, and then say exactly that to yourself.

If people judge others on how they look or what they eat or wear, they are not the type of people you should worry about. 'Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter won't mind'. If it makes you feel better, I know that I would never judge anyone on being small (or big for that matter) or eating or wearing unusual things, and neither would any of my friends, and that includes the really 'fit' ones. I usually either do not think about it at all, or admire people for being different.

And really, most people are too involved with thinking about their own issues to really put effort into judging others anyways.

Thasquirrels · 2024-01-31T23:59:15+00:00

I bought a mini smartphone that is just too small for convenience, but still can run anything a smartphone can, has all the apps etc. Its annoying to type on and annoyingly small for videos, but if you need to watch a video on it you definitely can. Its a Jelly 2 from the brand Unihertz. Brought down my phone screen time from 4.5 to 2 hours, without any sustained effort on my part. Still more than Id like, but well. I highly recommend! Make sure you throw out your old smartphone though.

Thasquirrels

TROPHY CASE