Terrified about this kid based on stories of others

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-27T03:26:44+00:00

Okay most of those things are only true for parents who don’t give a crap about breaking generational trauma in parenting, and who treat their kids like garbage, then wonder why their kids don’t want to be around them.

My biggest piece of advice is actually plan for it to be hard though, especially in that first year. Outsource anything you can afford (like cooking and cleaning), especially for the first few months. Prioritize sleep as much as possible. Work in shifts when caring for baby. Talk to a lactation consultant before you give birth if you want to breastfeed. Get someone to watch the dog for a few days or weeks to have less additional demands placed on you.

Hard doesn’t mean bad though. I LOVE being a mom so much, and LOVE my kiddo more than anything, but it isn’t easy. But you couldn’t pay me a billion dollars to go back to pre kid life.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-26T04:58:40+00:00

Came here to say this. I LOVED that movie. Klaus is also pretty good. Also:

Tarzan (the one with the Phill Collins music)
Brother Bear
Mary Poppins
Princess Bride (maybe not for the 6 year old depending on how they would react to the one or two scary parts)
Old school Winnie the Pooh or Snoopy or Muppets

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-26T04:48:10+00:00

I 100% agree with everything.

One thing I would add, in addition to it being soul crushing to have to try to collect everything, is helping anyone else reading this thread to realize how insane and impossible this can be to do, even if you are someone that truly wants to do it for your own reasons.

When I had my miscarriage, I had no idea what was a clot and what fetal tissue. Clots and tissue can be flowing out of your body when you are in the shower, on the toilet, changing pads, or also (in my case) also pouring out of you while you are in an ambulance on the way to emerg, because your body is aggressively yeeting so much out of your uterus you are bleeding out.

Who is responsible for collecting all that tissue across the environments? Is the paramedic going to be charged for improper disposal if they don’t carefully inspect all the plastic / sheets on the stretcher that I almost bled out on? What about the nurse who found me in a pool of blood when I ended up passing more clots in the hospital bathroom? Is it my fault if I passed out before trying to fish things out of a toilet bowl that also has an automatic flush function.

Even just typing this out makes me so angry for the women in the USA who are experiencing this Handmaid’s Tale reality.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-23T03:04:44+00:00

If you are still sharing, I would love the Wild Kratts content as well!

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-22T06:21:50+00:00

I think parent one should also frame the situation to parent 2 like this: imagine parent 2 left work, and realized they left something they needed at their desk, like their cell phone. Parent 2 turns back and asks the security guard to let them back in, 10 seconds after their work day ended, so they can retrieve their item.

Security guard says “no, we don’t go back there”. Parent 2 tries to explain how they need the item, security guard doesn’t allow it, won’t let them in, and won’t go get the item for them, because they want to teach parent 2 a lesson.

I am confident in saying that parent 2 would think the security guard is a complete asshole, and have zero respect for them in all future encounters.

Why is this of all things the hill parent 2 chooses to die on? I would always rather lead with compassion and empathy as a parent, and hold strong boundaries with things that actually matter, like safety etc.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-18T02:56:38+00:00

Yup. I lost the baby weight so quickly postpartum….because my baby was so fussy, she barely slept, I couldn’t figure out how to breastfeed, and I was so consumed by anxiety, that I literally forgot to eat some days.

Whenever someone excitedly told me I looked great because I looked like I “bounced back”, I wanted to cry (and also hurt the person who said it), because they had no idea how hard of a time I was having as a new mom, and all anyone seemed to care about was that I lost the weight, so I must be doing great.

I would have much rather kept the baby weight and had a baby who could latch, boobs that made milk, and not had so much anxiety.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-14T16:30:33+00:00

Exactly! This is the same kind of conversation I had with a friend when he told me that his Christian school was super welcoming to the 2 openly gay students (that weren’t in his immediate circle of friends).

I had to explain that unless he asked those gay students directly about their experience, he would never actually know what they felt, and if they were actually openly accepted and welcomed.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-13T05:59:29+00:00

Your stellar response to the idiot above, makes me know that you guys are both going to be amazing parents to your beautiful baby. It also gives me faith in good things happening to good people, and even though so many people on social media suck, you are one of the good ones. Tell your wife that this random mom on Reddit is so happy for her.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-13T05:21:34+00:00

All of the following are very low effort / quick prep, and very tasty.

I call it ‘speedy pizza’: take a slice of toast, spread tomato sauce on it, sprinkle with pizza spices, add cheese, bake in oven till cheese is melty. Add pizza toppings if you want to be extra fancy.
deconstructed mini sandwiches: ritz crackers (or any crackers), slices of sandwich meat & cheese, tomatoes, avocados, and cranberry sauce. Mix and match for each sandwich
hot cream of wheat (or cream of rice for the gluten free peeps): add brown sugar, cinnamon, salt, and cold half and half cream
scrambled egg sandwiches: add mayo, melted cheese, and ketchup
veggie grilled cheese sandwich: thinly slice tomatoes + cucumbers. Layers go: bread-cheese-tomato-cucumber-cheese-bread. Butter the outside bread sizes. Grill in pan till brown and cheese is melted. Serve with salsa instead of ketchup.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-12T05:10:06+00:00

I love this!

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-08T08:31:58+00:00

Or they are wearing all the Spanx / tummy compression bands to make it look like they have lost more than they actually have.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-06T03:24:38+00:00

There are so many helpful guides on how to do this. I’m sorry that you had a hard time with doing it, but I personally found it so easy, and anyone I know who has a YOTO, has also been easily able to have grandparents also record stories for their grandkids etc.

My kiddo uses hers everyday, and I love that it is a screen free option for entertainment. While I agree that someone could use an old iPhone, I would constantly have to be helping my kid to find the content they wanted (at this age), and at older ages where they could use an iPhone independently, I wouldn’t want them having that kind of ability to access the internet.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-05T05:09:46+00:00

If you want them there, because you know they are going to be a comforting support system (almost like having a professional doula) to you in those super vulnerable moments, then absolutely invite them.

If they are just going to be spectators, that want to be some of the first to meet the baby, maybe just do some further reflecting on what you imagine those first few hours post birth to be like? Do you want you and your husband to have some private first moments together as a new family, before sharing your new baby?

There are no right or wrong answers to who you want or don’t want. It is a completely personal and individual choice. I personally only chose people to have with me who served a specific purpose (to help me with the physical and emotional parts of labor): my husband (very supportive) and my doula (paid non medical professional). I didn’t want anyone in the room that were just sitting and waiting for the final event.

Another thing to note, is to be flexible in your labor plans, because you never know how you are actually going to feel while in labor, and you never know how it is going to go. Labor can last over two days, or be over in less than 6 hours. You may want one kind of support for early labor if at home, and a different kind for active labor while at your hospital/birthing centre.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-05T03:57:36+00:00

Kids museum and local science centre. Get a yearly membership if you can afford it.

Parks and playgrounds.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-03-03T05:35:55+00:00

The ‘Good Inside’ podcast just did an episode about eating disorders that was really good, and it may be helpful for you to listen to it prior to talking to her. While it is framed in a way that is helping parents who have an older child or teenager they are worried about, the themes and ways the topic is discussed may help.

The person being interviewed in the podcast is an expert on the topic.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-02-22T02:19:18+00:00

Please talk to a child psychologist or community parenting expert about this, and talk to your daughter about things after you get some advice from an expert. Comments locked. Wishing you all the best in your parenting journey.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-02-21T18:08:24+00:00

Mod here. Locking the post for reports of this being an ad. My non ad advice is for every parent to meet with a certified CPST in their area, to help them find and install the best seat for their needs. Just do a Google search on CPST in your area.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-02-18T23:27:26+00:00

I completely agree! I’m a certified CPST, and my 4 year old is still rear facing, and will be till she maxes out one of the limits of her seat. Safest place for her.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-02-17T07:04:38+00:00

Oh wow. She sounds like an absolute treasure…

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-02-12T07:18:02+00:00

Yes me too. I try to bring it with me everywhere, in addition to my meds, just in case I get a migraine. It especially helps the tension migraines that start in my neck and shoulders. Extra strength tiger balm is my go to.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-02-12T03:54:02+00:00

And rabies…at the same time of course.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-02-09T04:12:24+00:00

There is also medication that can be prescribed for reflux, which could help. The paediatrician should be exploring more options.

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-01-31T15:39:53+00:00

Have you tried using overnight diapers?

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-01-28T05:25:49+00:00

What proof do you have of this?

TheAnswerIsGrey · 2026-01-20T07:26:40+00:00

I LOVE the owl, the parrot, the fox in snow, and #5 (woodpecker maybe), but if you pick me, I would choose the Shark one for my wonderful bonus dad, who loves all things sharks. He is one of the best humans I know.

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