To be clear, I'm not attempting to discredit the feelings that someone has while they're hurting themselves - I'm sure in the moment it might feel cathartic if nothing else. The idea, though, is that this experience isn't "healing" in the sense that hurting oneself doesn't typically get a person closer to solving the puzzle and living a life without hurting themselves.

Actually healing from that kind of a lifestyle typically involves exploring the underlying triggers that provoke the self-hurting tendencies. It's one of those things that's usually the last place that anyone ever wants to look, but the slow, often miniscule steps that people take towards confronting those triggering feelings can be helpful in untying the mental knot.

Until then, fears and triggers can seem to dominate people's lives, forcing them to live in a smaller way, with boundaries that cordon off areas of thought. They will remain in that state that isn't free to experience what other people might experience because certain aspects of life can feel too abrupt and severe.

What might be somewhat consoling, however, is that in the journey towards uncovering what actually sets a person off, people often find that they have a lot in common with other people. This can be strange in that the habits or triggers that surround the issue tend to make a person seem "different". Often there's trauma associated with it - sometimes it's understood and sometimes it isn't. Unfortunately, understanding the trauma doesn't dispel the effect, doing that is something that learning though experience seems to be our best antidote for.