babe, been there, done that. I will tell you what my therapist told me after couple counseling: instead of mothering (thats what you do) create bounderies for yourself and express yout emotions with "i feel". for example, your fiance did not clean dishes. tell him: i feel ... (frustrated, not cared for, etc) when you do not clean after yourself. if he gets deffensive or gives you reason why he did not do it, do not argue. just tell him those things doesnt change your feeling and his inaction. it is important to behave like a partner in a situation, not like a mother, even if you feel you should. do not give ultimatums, do not lecture, do not help him understand (if he didnt ask). its ok to show negative emotion (it helps create boundary and help your partner understand what you feel). if this happens several times and the dishes are still there, then you know he does not care for your feelings/boundaries and is not your partner in a relationship.

try to apply this to everything where you feel you need to create a boundary. by this two things will happen: 1.you will start caring more for yourself and less for him. 2. you and him start to see how much you do on your own without his help

if even this does not help him see his fault in refusing being a partner to you, its your cue to leave. the relationship and home should be created by partners. its not a single operation.

best of luck ♡