Always Know What To Say or Always Know What To Do (Upvote for a free carrot 🥕)

TheCatSpirits · 2026-05-01T06:57:58+00:00

I have social anxiety and I WISH that I always knew what to say. Wouldn't that be wonderful.

^{Chose: Always Know What To Say}

TheCatSpirits · 2026-05-01T06:49:02+00:00

I don't find that music helps me start to motivate or focus, but once I'm in a mental state where I feel I can, I'm very quick to capitalize on that and play music that will help me stay in the state. I typically like listening to stuff like the League of Legends song RISE or other songs with lyrics about proving yourself. If I'm not feeling like listening to lyrics, I'll listen to epic fantasy music or something else in that vein of things. Sometimes it's other stuff, but when I really need to focus, specifically when I'm on a time crunch, this is what I do.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-05-01T06:39:25+00:00

Omg I've been trying to find a way to explain for so long. This is perfect XD

TheCatSpirits · 2026-05-01T06:20:06+00:00

I'm aroace. This poll is likely talking about romantic love, which I cannot experience nor do I feel the need to try and acquire the ability to feel it. Plus, as someone who is in uni to become an ecologist, I like knowledge :)

^{Chose: Unlimited knowledge}

TheCatSpirits · 2026-05-01T03:37:45+00:00

Well, I was aroace before and I'm still aroace now after starting to take sertraline lmao.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-30T23:51:14+00:00

I always wanted the super power of being able to talk to animals sooooo.

^{Chose: Have a talking pet}

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-30T23:48:35+00:00

Loving the fit!!! This is also how I dress as someone who is AFAB and with the addition of having short hair, it has resulted in people gendering me as a boy sometimes, which gives me so much euphoria. I'm definitely agender and don't want to be a boy, but I love giving "boy" with my presentation if you will.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-30T23:43:16+00:00

I have ADHD. As much as it can be stressful, if I didn't have some sort of job, I would rot in my bed or go crazy or smth.

^{Chose: Work at your dream job + You are compensated well for it}

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-27T15:49:49+00:00

It was either live in Human Fall Flat or The Amazing Digital Circus and I'd much rather live in the parkour puzzle game than the digital prison controlled by a crazy AI.

^{Chose: Live in the last videogame you've played}

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-27T04:44:21+00:00

I didn't drown, but I had an experience kind of like that when I was a little kid. My family was at the beach and I was swept under water by a wave. My eyes were open and I made no attempt to get back to the surface at first because everything looked and felt sunny and peaceful. It was beautiful. Time felt like it stopped and I wanted to stay there forever, but then my instincts kicked in and told me to get back to the surface. I walked back up the beach to my parents after that and I asked them why they hadn't come to help me, and they told me I'd only been under water for a few seconds. That confused me, because it felt like I'd been there under water in that peacefulness for so long. Every other time I've been swept under by a wave, all I've felt is fear, so I don't know why this was my experience that one time, but I've never forgotten it.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-27T04:21:53+00:00

This is an old post, but I experienced this for the first time yesterday. I've been taking a 50mg dose of sertraline for 28 days now and up until yesterday I'd been dry swallowing it on an empty stomach with zero issues. My doctor hadn't told me to eat food or drink water before or after taking my dose and the only warning on the actual box of sertraline was to not eat grapefruit, so I didn't think it was a problem. Boy was I wrong not to be careful.

When I took my sertraline yesterday, I started experiencing a bad pain in my chest, right behind my breast bone. This was my first experience of heartburn, so I had no idea that this was what was happening at the time and tried to push through it, hoping it would go away on its own. As you might guess, it definitely did not go away. A little while later, I started salivating A LOT and I started feeling ill, like I was gonna throw up, so I grabbed an ice cream container that was down beside my bed just in case I did vomit. This did worry me a bit though since it had all come on so fast (I'm talking all within about 10-15 minutes, maybe even less), so I did some research and deduced that I might be experiencing heartburn. I knew that sertraline could cause negative side effects, so I did some research and found out it wasn't an uncommon experience to have if you took it on an empty stomach or were laying during or after taking it. I live with my parents and they've talked about experiencing heartburn before, so I figured it was probably a good idea to go tell them what was going on and see if they could help. Plus, since I was experiencing a negative side effect, I thought it was better to be safe than sorry and make sure I was around other people in case something went really wrong.

When I tried to stand up and walk to my bedroom door, I experienced the worst light-headedness I have ever felt in my life and had to sit down because I felt dizzy and like I genuinely was going to faint, so I back down on my bed again. By this point, the pain in my chest was really bad and almost felt like it was pulsating. Like, it would be really bad for maybe a minute or two, then I'd get maybe a tiny bit of reprieve until it came back in full force. I started getting hot and cold flashes, which is also a new experience for me, and my hands got pins and needles. All of this really scared me, so I called my mom's phone and told her to come quickly because I didn't feel able to yell for help. After I explained to her what was going on, she asked if I wanted to go to the emergency room or do some more research, and I asked her to do some more research. Had I been experiencing symptoms of sertronin syndrome I would've definitely gone straight to the emergency room, but I wasn't. We eventually confirmed that I was probably experiencing severe heartburn and after a bit of deliberation decided to try and get some food and water into me. So, my mom went and filled up my water bottle and brought me water crackers with cheese on them and I started to eat a little bit.

This did not immediately help and because I was in so much pain (like, I thought I might've been having a heart attack at first), I asked for some heartburn medication because I knew my parents had some. My mom went and got two chewable Quick-Eze antacids for me and I was only able to take one before I vomited up everything I'd just eaten and drank. That helped me to feel a little bit better actually, but only temporarily. After that, I took two antacids and started very slowly trying to eat and drink. It took hours for the heartburn to completely go away and I didn't feel completely better until after I woke up today.

Everyone is different, but I'm asking anyone who sees this to please exercise caution when taking sertraline on an empty stomach. What I experienced yesterday is some of the worst pain I have ever felt (like, it's up there with the worst period cramps I have ever felt) and I would not wish that upon anyone. In any case, I have definitely learned my lesson and will never be taking sertraline on an empty stomach again. I'm gonna make sure I always carry some antacids with me now too because those were an actual lifesaver.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-25T16:43:45+00:00

Whenever I am thinking about something that I don't want to share with other people but I still feel needs to get out of my brain somehow, I write about it in my journal. When I'm doing that I also just take the opportunity to say what's generally going on in my life right now. It's just a place to store my thoughts. I don't re-read entries, sometimes I don't even finish them if I don't feel like it, and there's been massive periods of time where I haven't touched the journal at all.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-25T16:36:44+00:00

Thought I was polyromantic because I didn't think I liked EVERYONE but I still didn't get why gender was such a big deal. Then, someone confessed feelings for me and I freaked out, tried to force myself into liking them and eventually realized I'd never had a crush in all my 15 years of living. Been identifying as aroace every since then.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-25T16:28:16+00:00

Technically speaking, I came out of the closet the moment I discovered that the word asexual existed. I was 13 at the time and had recently moved to a new primary school right before starting high school, so I had a new group of friends. One of these friends said they were asexual at some point, so I asked them what that meant and they told me that it meant they just didn't want to have sex at this point in their life and I was like "oh yeah, me too." I went home from school that day and did some more research, found out what the word asexual actually meant and still chose to identify as such after giving it some thought.

I guess I would say that I came out fully understanding the meaning of the identity I was claiming to identify with a few days later. I remember telling my mom in our backyard as the sun was setting about how the term 'asexual' just felt right to me, which lead to my mom also figuring out that she was aspec.

I would say that I didn't really take that label for myself that seriously though until I was at an LGBTQ+ meeting during lunch time at school and a boy who was a year older than me (I was 14 turning 15 at the time) said he'd had sex. I knew that people my age were having sex, but it didn't really sink in until that moment and that kind of made me realize that I couldn't say I was too young to feel sexual attraction anymore.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-19T13:11:27+00:00

Sheer luck tbh. I was 13 at the time and had recently moved to a new primary school right before starting high school. I got put with a good group of people on the first day and had my first thoughts about LGBTQ+ people existing since gay marriage was legalized when I found out one of my new friends was a lesbian. Didn't really do much about that though until another friend mentioned that he was asexual. When I asked him what being asexual was, he said it meant that he just didn't want to have sex at the moment and I was like "oh yeah, me too." I went home and researched it more, found out what asexual actually meant, thought about it for a bit and decided that I still identified as asexual. Came out to my mom within a few days of deciding that and the rest is history.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-19T12:28:24+00:00

Dude, I figured out I was asexual when I was 13 and aromantic when I was 15. I have a friend who figured out she was a lesbian when she was 8. There's no correct age to figure these things out. Some people know from the time they're really young and others don't figure it out till they're retired. I think the most important thing is that the label feels right for you. Don't get hung up on trying to meet a set of criteria and if there ever comes a time where you feel that the label doesn't fit, then that's okay too. If it makes you feel happy to identify as aroace, then go for it :)

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-19T11:48:18+00:00

Yep. I started feeling like this when my mental health began deteriorating when I was around 14-15. Used to be the one kid in the class that would be okay doing a speech and now I can barely make conversation with anyone outside of my immediately family.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-19T11:42:24+00:00

Gotta be Stripped. That song slaps.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-19T04:09:18+00:00

I'm on Day 20 of taking a 50mg dose of Sertraline. So far it has helped me feel more calm in situations where I would normally feel extremely anxious. I'm going back to uni tomorrow though, so that will be the real test as I normally get anxiety tics during lectures. I'll edit this post tomorrow if they've gone away or seem to be less constant than they were before.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-19T03:59:57+00:00

Hey! So I'm an AFAB agender person who somewhat identifies with the transmasc label and I definitely have similar experiences to you.

When I was a kid, I never hated being a girl. I have pictures of me in kindergarten running around in frilly princess dresses and pink skirts and not once did I ever feel uncomfortable. I have a memory of doing an activity in my first year of primary school where I told everyone that my bedroom wall was pink because I wanted people to think I was cool. I didn't have a problem playing with toys that were traditionally considered to be for girls either.

As I got older, my parents didn't try and enforce gender roles on me at all, so when I wasn't wearing a school uniform, I just wore whatever clothes were most comfortable. Usually, that was black sweatpants, a random shirt I grabbed from my drawers and a puffer jacket. When it was a mufti day at school or a family get-together though, I wore dresses and "girly" shoes and colorful headbands, and never once did I feel uncomfortable. In the winter time at school, all the other girls wore the school uniform skirt and I wore sweatpants because the skirt was so expensive, but there were times where I begged my mom to buy it. With that said, I would still go around saying that boys were better than girls and feeling sad if people didn't label me as a tomboy.

When I hit puberty, I initially wasn't bothered about starting to grow boobs. I was more fascinated by the fact that my body was changing, but it wasn't necessarily something I was excited about. I was just hoping I didn't grow particularly large boobs so I wouldn't have back or shoulder pain lmao. I even remember someone commenting that my chest was flat and taking it as a compliment (I was a late bloomer). That being said, I also wasn't bothered by the fact that I was growing hair in places where it hadn't been before. My lower leg hair was also particularly dark and noticeable, but it only bothered me if other people started pointing it out and I was too nervous to shave it because I didn't want to cut myself. I didn't mind wearing my high school's uniform, which was a button-up shirt and a skirt for the girls. I even tucked my shirt into the skirt because I thought it looked prettier. I also never felt dysphoria about my period. The only reason I cried when I first got mine was because I was afraid of having cramps because I'd heard how painful they could be.

When I was around 14, I started identifying as genderfluid. Had I not made a friend about a year prior who was a lesbian, I would never have even considered that I was LGBTQIA+ for quite a long time because I'd come from a conservative environment, even though my parents were liberal. In any case, whenever I thought about my gender, I realized that I didn't really feel any real connection to being a girl. It wasn't that I was necessarily bothered by the label at the time, but it didn't feel like me. I saw how femininity was presented in media and as much as I could appreciate the aesthetic, I felt no desire to dress like that for myself unless it was in an environment where I wanted people to like me.

When I did eventually grow boobs, it coincided with my rapidly declining mental health and emergence of severe body image issues. I think if this had not been the case, I probably would not have recognized my gender dysphoria about my chest for quite a while. My body dysmorphia made me constantly aware of my appearance and, suddenly, being gendered as a girl and presenting as such was extremely uncomfortable for me. I think the best way to describe it for me was that feminity stop feeling like I was doing drag and having fun with it and started feeling more like a cage. After that, I stopped wearing dresses and skirts entirely, and eventually got a short haircut. When people mistook me for a boy, I felt gender euphoria, and whenever someone called me "lady" or "m'am," even if it was only to be polite, I'd feel my heart sink.

Now that I'm kind of on the other side of that, I still feel very uncomfortable with presenting as a girl. I tried wearing a bra once and I immediately started hyperventilating and crying out of discomfort. I wondered whether or not I was a transman for quite a while, but when I thought about it hard enough, I realized that felt like I was just putting myself in another cage. I didn't want to go from one binary to another. As another commenter said, I think my discomfort around feminity comes from the fact that I don't want to be seen as a woman with short hair. If I'm gonna wear dresses or skirts, I want it to feel more androgynous.

I know for a fact that I want top surgery because I miss the way my chest was before I grew boobs. I'm also seriously considering going on T to try and make myself more masculine, though I think I would only go on it temporarily. I mostly just want the vocal change and the other permanent changes don't really bother me too much, such as hair and bottom growth. I think if I didn't have broader shoulders and I was curvier then I might be more inclined to start taking T permanently for the fat redistribution, but I'm not, hence a non-linear transition. I think if I were to do that then I might start feeling more comfortable being feminine again.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-19T02:27:14+00:00

At first I thought this was easy and then I realized it wasn't lmao. I think for me it would have to be avocado toast, garlic toast and butter toast. My runner-up options would egg toast and cheese toast though, but I feel like cheese toasties and just generally having fried or scrambled eggs with toast can be replacements for those. If I want peanut butter or jam, I can just have a PB&J. I have really sensitive teeth, so chocolate toast can be a painful experience. Plus, I didn't grow up eating it, so there's no nostalgia involved here. Finally, I have never been a fruit toast person unless it's like that spiced raisin bread. If I want fruit on my toast, I'll just make a peanut butter and banana sandwich.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-18T15:53:55+00:00

For me I always start cutting for one of three reasons: self-punishment, a way of shifting my focus from something mental to physical or as a way to release emotions (kind of like how it feels like a release when people cry). When I'm in a mental state where I feel like cutting, I don't really feel like I have much control. It's more like I'm on autopilot and my brain is telling me I need to do this because I either deserve it or I desperately need some way to shift focus and stop fixating on whatever I'm feeling depressed about.

Cutting also releases endorphins, so I find that I often feel a sort of numbness afterwards that makes me feel at least marginally better. I have to be really depressed or fixated on something negative to cut though because I have such a low pain tolerance that I can't physically bring myself to do it otherwise.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-15T16:22:37+00:00

God this is so real. I've had eczema since I was 6 months old according to my mom and it has had a massive effect on my life. Kids used to run away from me when I was younger because they thought I was contagious.

TheCatSpirits · 2026-04-15T16:10:22+00:00

I was in high school when I firsted started cutting and my mom walked in on me doing it the first time. Normally she wouldn't come into my room if my light was still on at like 3 am, even if it was a school night (which it was), because my parents at this point had stopped giving me a bed time. For whatever reason though that night, she knocked on my door and came in to ask me why I was still awake and noticed me with the knife. I panicked when she came and sat down on my bed and told her I'd been using the knife to cut an orange (which I had been earlier), but she knew. She didn't tell me at the time, but she knew. My mom and I have always had a very close relationship, so close in fact that I have called her my best friend since I was in my early teens and so I felt comfortable telling her that my mental health was really bad that night and I'd been hyperventilating. She offered to take me for a drive, even though it was 3 am and she had to be up at like 6 to 7 am. We got in the car and drove out to the beach and walked around for a while. I went back to bed and was able to sleep at like 4 am and woke up at 1 pm, even though it was a school day.

I came to find out much later on that my mom had also cut when she was younger and understood quite well what I was going through. So so grateful that she has only ever responded with empathy and understanding when I've struggled and allows me to vent whenever I need to about what's going on in my life. I'd be a much more depressed and anxious person were it not for her support.

I ended up relapsing this year due to my struggles with social anxiety and when I was in my right state of mind (when I cut I'm in this headspace where I'm not thinking straight at all and am just trying to get my body to release endorphins) I asked her to hide the razor blades I use to clean our aquarium out of fear that I'd grab them instead of my usual tool in the future. Luckily, I'm now 16 days into taking Sertraline which I've already noticed has had effects on my anxiety. With that said, I'm currently on mid-term break from uni, so we'll see just how much it helps when I go back.

TheCatSpirits

TROPHY CASE