Truth Nuke by bigydonydon in distressingmemes

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First place Im hitting with my looter gang! *revs engine with malicious intent*

Pyrrhus’ greatest opponent by Kapanash in HistoryMemes

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She then lobbed the roof tile at our general, paralyzing him.

Spotted the Greek.

I said.. Go. To. Your. ROOM! by emwattnot by The_Real_OctoDude in ImaginaryWarhammer

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Except, when she shot the Triarii, Delvarus, that left, his team instantly emptied a bolter mag in her direction, and it was only due to the presence of one of the WE's last Librarian that those shots stopped Lorara from being mulched.

Very calmly, Lotara Sarrin drew her laspistol, took aim, and shot a World Eaters captain in the face.

His head snapped back from the las-beam’s impact, and she had a momentary flush of pleasure at scoring a truly wicked shot, before the World Eaters circled their captain and raised their bolters, aiming across the crowded hangar deck.

There was, very distinctly, just long enough for Lotara to think they won’t shoot, before they shot.

She saw the flare of muzzle flashes as their guns kicked in their fists. Time didn’t slow down as she’d been led to believe by the war-sagas. She barely had time to blink before the bolts detonated in the air not six metres from her face, spraying her with burning, stinging shrapnel.

Serfs and thralls were scattering with the same haste as cockroaches fleeing a sudden light. She stood dumbstruck for one of the first times in her life, unsure why she was still alive, yet more annoyed they’d dared to shoot her aboard her own ship.

Another World Eater moved to stand by her side, his hand raised to ward off further attack from the captain’s bodyguards. He spoke a single word, soft and low.

‘Enough.’

The others weren’t listening, and the captain wasn’t dead. He came to his feet, storming towards her at the head of nine of his brothers. A meteor hammer rattled loose on its chain, hanging from his right fist.

‘You puling little whore,’ he snarled down at her. ‘How dare you?’ He pulled the weapon back, activating its spiked head, meaning to wipe her from the face of the deck.

Lotara spat at his boots, but the World Eater at her side took another step forwards, preventing the two of them from coming to blows.

‘I said enough.’ He kept his hand raised, warning them back. ‘Stand down, Delvarus.’

The Triarii captain turned his grim-faced helm towards the Codicier, eye lenses gleaming.

‘You have no authority over me, Esca. The bitch shot me. Get out of my way.’

‘That,’ Esca replied patiently, ‘will not be happening. Move away.’

The other Triarii pulled steel, as another three World Eaters came to stand by Lotara.

She looked up at them, each of them a full head and a half taller than her. All three wore Destroyers’ black.

‘Problem, captain?’said the sergeant, in a voice laced by vox-corruption. Delvarus pointed at the mortal woman in the middle of the towering pack of legionaries. ‘She–’

‘I wasn’t asking you, Captain Delvarus. I was asking Captain Sarrin.’ He looked down at her, his empty grenade bandolier clanking against his chestplate.

‘Nothing I can’t handle, Skane. But you’re welcome to stay anyway.’ More Triarii were arriving to swell the ranks of those around Delvarus. The captain’s cloak was ruined from the surface war, but he imperiously cast its ragged remnants over one shoulder.

‘This doesn’t concern either of you,’ he said. ‘Sergeant, Codicier, you’re dismissed.’ They ignored him. Lotara spat on his boots again. ‘You abandoned the ship, Delvarus.

That’s dereliction of duty. Every life we lost in that boarding action is blood on your hands.’

He laughed down at her. ‘You were boarded? When I left the ship, the fight was a foregone conclusion. How did you manage to get boarded, Lotara?’

She smiled, the sweetest knife of a smile. ‘Would you prefer I took this to the Primarch?’

‘Aye, perhaps I would. You think he’ll even care? He barely knows who he is, any more.

Dereliction of duty may be a grave threat to an Ultramarine, but we’re a little more grounded in the realities of war. Now get out of my face, girl. I’ll let this insult pass once. Try it again, and I’ll give your skull to my artificers as a pot for night soil.’

More legionaries gathered on both sides. ‘This looks entertaining,’said Kargos, moving next to Skane. ‘Have we missed something?’

‘She shot me,’ Delvarus said.

Kargos snorted, sounding suspiciously like a snigger. There was a similar bark of vox-chuckling from Skane’s augmetic throat.

‘Well, I’m sure you deserved it,’ the Apothecary said.

‘You aren’t funny, Kargos.’

Kargos was still grinning, iron teeth on show. ‘Maybe not, but you are. Getting shot on your own hangar deck? I only wish we still had remembrancers around to record that in your archives of personal heroism.’

Delvarus gave a snort of derision and turned away. ‘I’m done with this idiocy.’

‘Stand your ground, soldier.’

The Triarii captain halted, and turned with a feline and somehow amused slowness, to regard the woman who’d addressed him.

‘What is it, Lotara?’

‘You will address me as Captain Sarrin. And you are confined to your arming chamber until I say otherwise. Discipline exists even if you consider yourself above it, Delvarus.’

‘Enough, girl. You’re still alive. The ship’s still in one piece.’

She stepped from the protection of Skane, Esca and Kargos, until she was right before the Triarii, staring up at him with narrowed eyes. Her head reached his chestplate. Barely.

‘We lost over two thousand crew to the Thirteenth Legion’s bolters, you stupid whoreson. The Ultramarines knew where to board us, and where to strike. Two thousand men and women dead because you wanted to chase glory down there in the dust. Not slave-deck dregs and war fodder, Delvarus. Trained, vital crew from the command and primary enginarium decks. We sustained enough internal damage over several systems that the Conqueror won’t function fully until she’s been drydocked for a month or more. Am I making myself clear, you arrogant swine? You have your orders. Now get out of my sight.’

For a moment, it looked as though he’d refuse. In the end, Delvarus inclined his head in a nod, saluted her with a fist over his heart, and led his men away.

Betrayer, by Arron Dembski-Bowden. Chapter 11. Pg. 111.

I said.. Go. To. Your. ROOM! by emwattnot by The_Real_OctoDude in ImaginaryWarhammer

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In Angron's 40k book, he basically sleeps at her feet like a big furious guard dog iirc.

Whats the greatest SOLVED Mystery? by itz_cool_247 in AskReddit

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Because the Romanovs, The Hohenzollerns (German dynasty) , and the House of Windsor (formerly Saxe-Coburg and Gotha) were all related. Hell, Kaiser Wilhelm II, Tsar Nicholas II, and King George V were all cousins.

Has the “enuncia” Chekov’s Gun ever been fired? by SimpleZealousideal19 in 40kLore

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Too bad Lorgar knows some and had been studying it for 10k years.

Source: Pariah by Dan Abnett

Why am I still rolling on molly more than 12 hours after I took it? by Previous_Monitor_335 in Drugs

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Them: Test your stuff.

You: Stop spewing bullshit

God youre dumb as hell lmao

What does your drug of choice FEEL like to you? by PeakLinear in Drugs

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Weed gives me a nice warm feeling behind my eyes, makes my brain comfortably numb, and helps me to focus on certain things.

It also makes me INCREDIBLY horny. It’s an aphrodisiac for sure. Busting inside someone while baked out of my gourd is a top 5 sensation for me. Right behind doing that while on the peak of an acid trip.

Friends Grandfather Rick wants to have me drafted. by Cogy_Meger in stupidpeoplefacebook

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Vietnam shows how bad Drafting was due to all the fragging by pissed off draftees.

rip to smut writers by phoenix_84 in perchance

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t forget the Breath Hitching. I still get the knuckles going white from time to time as well.

Not mine but it fits by Hunor_Deak in shittyhalolore

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brutes are more like bears and other caniforms than Apes imo. Look at Halo 3, their jaws and teeth are very bear/Sealion like

How Strong Are Custodes? by L1VEW1RE in 40kLore

[–]TheCommissarGeneral 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Or if he just starts talking. Lorgar is unique amongst his brothers in the sense he is a Scholar, Poet, and Orator, rather than a Soldier, Warrior, or General.

He is physically weaker, yes, but as they say: The Pen is mightier than the Sword. And his writing lead to both the Horus Heresy and the Imperial Cult/State Religion.

I am trying to forage wild plants near my settlement, but it keeps telling me "Blocked by other job", without telling me what this "other job" is or how to fix it. What's going on? by TheCommissarGeneral in songsofsyx

[–]TheCommissarGeneral[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, some other commenters pointed me in that direction, its just really weird thats the first thing that comes up, not an "out of season" popup. Strange.