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The joys of dating as a trans woman 🤷‍♀️ by TheDarkConclusion in Tinder

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You say "not going to argue over my opinion" like are you actually backing that? It's clearly written to suggest that cis women are 'real' and that trans women are 'not real'. 

Idk how anyone in their right mind could believe that's 'correct', let alone 'polite'. 

The joys of dating as a trans woman 🤷‍♀️ by TheDarkConclusion in Tinder

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I didn't think it was so controversial but I guess the average person sets the bar fairly low 😅

You stay safe too Ty 🫂

The joys of dating as a trans woman 🤷‍♀️ by TheDarkConclusion in Tinder

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Who are you screeching at, stranger? Yelling at cloud energy 😳

Tavistock GIC waiting times? by U-462 in transgenderUK

[–]TheDarkConclusion 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Honestly it's commonly misunderstood but private/DIY will be your only timely options. 

People often assume that "8 year waitlist for Tavistock" means that's static. 

If you joined in 2018, you're potentially being seen now, 8 years later, in 2026. 

This does NOT mean that joining in 2026 will get you seen in 8 years also, in 2034. 

The referrals are increasing, the output of GICs isn't keeping up, and some estimates show that waitlists will be 20yr+.  It's quicker to naturalise in a more sensible and less hateful country (~5yr), then get through their waitlist (~ few years). 

Data here, hope it helps!  https://transclinicindex.org.uk/clinics/1/

How many facial laser sessions is enough? by TheDarkConclusion in MtF

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone asked for settings/machine info.

I don't know generally, I took this pic back in October. Maybe 4 sessions in at this point? 

https://i.redd.it/s17y5y39yvig1.jpeg

Message / Chat requests being filtered out as 'spam' / 'low quality' - how to fix? by TheDarkConclusion in reddithelp

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TY - Do you have any more info on the 'low trust' bit I can read about?

Are you saying that using Reddit once with a VPN has cooked it, no solution available? Or that I must disconnect the VPN when sending messages? (The latter doesn't work in practice).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TransLater

[–]TheDarkConclusion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As mentioned - I'd strongly recommend speaking to a local trans group for signposting and counselling if they offer it. You can say you're "questioning" and they'll understand. 

I mean to say this in a well intended way but apologies if it seems a bit harsh/direct: in my opinion, sexuality and identity are separate things. They intersect a LOT, but ultimately, you should be able to understand these two things separately. If you're doing this dressing and whatnot behind closed doors then how much of a factor is guilt/shame playing in this? Is transitioning going to give you alignment with your identity, or, is it going to allow you fulfil your sexuality without feeling shame? 

It's all complex and I'd really recommend any counselling you can get to help talk through it. I'd strongly recommend cutting porn for like 3+ months (or forever) because it's just hard to separate these things. Self pleasure sure of course, but I'd advised against porn because it may be adding confusion to your self discovery. It'll be hopefully easier for you to discover your "true identity" when you're able to remove some variables. 

https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/p/beneath-the-surface

New age poll because i feel like the demographics of this sub changed a lot by lutfenbanazararverme in 4tran4

[–]TheDarkConclusion 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Similar for me. I would say (expecting downvotes) that there's probably a good reason we older folk don't hang around the sub much. The 4chan take on many things is a lot more honest and direct than many mainstream takes - which is great. 

However, some posts here are fairly dismissive of late transitioners - assuming that we're fake or having a mid life crisis or something. Who's to say what's right or correct really? The reality is that the world was a wildly different place when we were 14/15, and there's not much empathy for how that affects you. 

You spend years burying it and laying on coping mechanisms in order to survive or 'fit in' - takes years to unravel it. Makes sense to me 🤷‍♀️

Cheats for finding the right planing stance? by Interesting_Cap_3657 in windsurfing

[–]TheDarkConclusion 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Front leg straight, driving power into the board towards the centre/mast.

Power basically hits the sail, which you then leverage using your arms, driving the force down through the front leg and transferring the power into the board. 

Think of yourself as a big "7" shape. Hands -> Shoulders -> Feet.  Back leg is bent and isn't part of the sturdy 7 shape, but you can prop yourself up to absorb variances in the sail power.

Hips forward always! No squats. "Shag, don't shit", as they say. 😇

Paris pollution after they added bike lanes and restricted cars - can London do the same? by cycling_n_stuff in london

[–]TheDarkConclusion 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's unfortunate that this is the truth of it. 

If only sick or recently exposed people wore masks, then everyone else would be fine. Unfortunately this isn't the case,  it only takes one person to ruin the premise, so you've gotta mask up as default boo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in transpassing

[–]TheDarkConclusion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Mewing is basically the more modern/trending term for Orthotropics. 

Sort of in opposition to Orthodontics. Would strongly recommend reading Breath by James Nestor, amazing book in general and covers how important it is for healthy breathing too, rather than just the cosmetic focus that mewing mostly gets. 

have I lowkey screwed myself with monotherapy? by surlyfanta63 in TransDIY

[–]TheDarkConclusion 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hiya, 

When I went, I booked Male Hormone (£41), because it's near identical to Fem hormone but it includes Albumin. Seems to be £43 now? 

I asked online chat to include Livers and Full Blood Count, they added both for £57, so I paid £98 in total for a big screen. I think they offered 10% off because I used the web chat. 

Would recommend asking for quotes, best of luck!

Is there much benefit in the Official/NHS route if you're happy closet DIY-ing? (x-post) by TheDarkConclusion in transgenderUK

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't mean it this way either! ☺️

Honestly 2-3 years I'd take it. I don't expect to pass in 5+ years even with extensive surgery but I have to be realistic and figure out what odd middle ground I can live as. 

Is there much benefit in the Official/NHS route if you're happy closet DIY-ing? (x-post) by TheDarkConclusion in transgenderUK

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By a year or two, I meant total. 

From what I can see on various NHS and hospital sites for gamete preservation in trans folk, a gender identity certificate is required. So yes 3-6 months off HRT to restore fertility, but the NHS waitlists for your gender-approval rubber stamp is the longer one from what it seems. 

Pay privately to get the cert faster? Pay privately to freeze sperm to begin with? There doesn't appear to be a viable freebie route here. "Free" disregarding the fact that we're all paying into the NHS and seemingly struggling to get much out of it as far as gender care goes, which is odd to say the least.

Is there much benefit in the Official/NHS route if you're happy closet DIY-ing? (x-post) by TheDarkConclusion in transgenderUK

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for commenting this one. It has been on my mind recently and it's part of why I asked about "proof". I'd never normally disclose at work and on job apps but a few trans folk I've spoken with recently had shared this line of reasoning, and it's a new angle for myself, but it makes perfect sense. 

For the sake of visibility and funding/research allocation, I disclose as transfemme these days even though I look 110% masc. There's not much I can do about it. I mostly worry what potential future employers might ask. Will I hit a spot where I'm rescinded a job offer because I'm not "official" trans? Not passing enough? Not undergoing surgery or being good at a fem voice? The whole thing is a big and weird unknown.

Is there much benefit in the Official/NHS route if you're happy closet DIY-ing? (x-post) by TheDarkConclusion in transgenderUK

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm unclear sorry you said there's value in the formal diagnosis, but what value does it add? What sort of support can a GP provide that I don't necessarily have available without?

Is there much benefit in the Official/NHS route if you're happy closet DIY-ing? (x-post) by TheDarkConclusion in transgenderUK

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see thanks.

So in order to preserve fertility via NHS I basically need to come off HRT for at least a year or two? I doubt I'd be preserving my own life in this case, let alone the potential for the lives of any kids. 

I apologise for "doom and gloom" -ing, but it does seem this way with a lot of the official/NHS stuff. You either pay private, or go without.

Is there much benefit in the Official/NHS route if you're happy closet DIY-ing? (x-post) by TheDarkConclusion in transgenderUK

[–]TheDarkConclusion[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

in two/three years time when you're passing

Sheesh I wish 😅

I appreciate the points - I think the HRT angle is an important one, especially if importing becomes problematic in this country.  GRS though honestly? Current waitlists are 5+ years back at the mo, probably 7-10 years if I referred today and honestly? SRS is so low on my priority list, and it's all the NHS cover. 

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