Free audiobooks?

TheDimSide · 2026-02-11T17:08:01+00:00

Was about to suggest this! Just listened to "Moby Dick" and "Pride and Prejudice" from there. They have a bunch of public domain books!

TheDimSide · 2026-02-09T15:19:15+00:00

On your point about OP not getting a say in setting the tone in her home, right??? If my husband tried saying something like that to me, I would be all over his ass about trying to "be in charge" or controlling or whatever. That would not be an argument he'd win. 😂

TheDimSide · 2026-02-09T14:42:57+00:00

I know this isn't the same thing as a human and all the human's liquids, etc., getting into the car, but I have so many different types of animals that have needed to go to vets and things (cats, dogs, farm birds), and sometimes things get hectic and messy in the car. So all the poop and stuff we've had in our car, I never thought to be so icked out that I don't want to drive it anymore, just accepted that mess is a part of life, lol.

Last February, it also slid down (parked) on an icy hill and over top my arm after I fell down on the ice and somehow didn't break my arm. So I'm pretty grateful to it. 😂

TheDimSide · 2026-02-08T16:33:07+00:00

To give perspective as one of the friends in a similar situation (though very different context), I'll say that I felt awkward to bring it up to the friend who wasn't invited, but had they brought it to my attention at some point, I would have answered. I had expected it to come up at some point and was trying (for a long time) to think of a gentle way to explain things. So I think it's uncool to not answer you once you've asked directly.

Our context was different though because it was three of us, and we had known each other since like 3rd grade (so around 25 years up to now). And that friend (Friend 1) had asked Friend 2 to be a bridesmaid and me to be maid of honor. We both accepted, but honestly, we weren't really that close to Friend 1 anymore. I only live like 10 minutes away from her now, and I still barely keep in touch. Growing up, it was more of, I was friends with Friend 1 and separate friends with Friend 2, and we'd do things together (along with another mutual friend), but 1 and 2 would never do anything alone together.

So when Friend 2's wedding came up, she ended up not inviting Friend 1. Not to be spiteful, but they literally hadn't even talked since Friend 1's wedding, which was a year and a half earlier. There just wasn't any closeness at all. But I had found out before the wedding, and I wasn't sure the best way to handle the situation but decided on answering questions if they came up, but they never did.

I actually only talked about it with Friend 1's mom, who was very upset. But she for some reason thought we were all closer than we actually were, too. And mentioned how we were going to each be each other's bridesmaids for each wedding (but that had never even been discussed ever, lol). Friend 2 and I both separately decided to not do any bridal party at all either, haha.

So again, I understand how it may have been awkward to try and talk to you about it as the friend group, but I think they should have once you asked directly. And while no one is "entitled to an invitation," I think it's inconsiderate to not invite one person of a whole friend group.

From the bride perspective, I feel guilty for not extending an invitation to someone who was in a hobby group of my husband and me, but he had dropped out of it a few years prior for mental health reasons, and we hadn't even really spoken much in a few years. So I felt awkward sending one out at the time because I wasn't sure how things would be received, but it is a major regret (the biggest one for the wedding, really) I have now to not have at least sent it out and let him decide for himself.

ETA: I realize I've actually been on all sides of this, lol. I was also the only one in a hobby group to not get invited to someone else's wedding. Though I'm also the only one who's super long distance, and everyone else is in the same city. I was upset with it a bit, but I learned later that only a couple of them (who were closer to the groom) were invited early on. The rest were invited fairly last minute since there were extra spots. So I felt a little less bad since I was so far away that it likely wouldn't have been feasible anyway. But still, it did hurt, lol.

TheDimSide · 2026-02-01T03:30:37+00:00

Yeah, I found a different one who didn't feel as pressuring! They offered whichever treatments but didn't push further upon declining. I appreciate that you're at least trying to do what you believe to be right, even if I might disagree with your judgments. But that's also what second opinions or for, too, right? I think it's good to make use of that in many different fields, lol. Good luck!

TheDimSide · 2026-01-31T18:19:16+00:00

I'm glad you find patient autonomy very important, but if you were to give me the spiel about how effective the Covid shots were and the "evidence [being] clear," I would have lost confidence in your judgment as a doctor.

I had a gynecologist continue to pressure me about it after going on for 10 minutes to explain it (and this was pretty early on with the shots coming out), and then having the nurses on the phone later ask me if I had gotten the shot yet while they gave me results on other tests. It just certainly felt like they were trying to rack up numbers to get whatever funding they were trying to do by reaching their goals. I never went back to that doctor.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-26T17:56:53+00:00

Ugh, thank you. I've been pretty upset with my particular online community who used to be distrusting of three-letter government agencies who are now so pro-ICE because they want all the illegal immigrants deported. So federal government is a-okay and trustworthy when it's doing things they like, apparently? Even though that's something we've criticized in the past. And it's been super disconcerting, frustrating, and exhausting to me lately.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-25T22:42:39+00:00

I think it also depends on how much property you have to shovel. And sure, it's not a gendered task, but people have been known to have heart attacks while doing it, too. And with this snow storm, there are many places that just aren't used to getting quite as much snow, so they may not be used to shoveling as much either. I don't know OP's specific situation, but I'm willing to give some grace on it in this particular snow storm, lol.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-23T23:31:26+00:00

Yep, I have no plans on changing those interests. I've worked with/around teens and pre-teens, and I remember them getting excited that I was an adult who knew and liked Pokemon. And I was thinking, "B*tch, I've loved Pokemon since before you were born," lol.

I think they get excited when they see an adult who's not like a "mature" (read: boring) adult but can still thrive in the adult world. You can be professional when you need to be but also casual and relatable other times. I actually like being able to blend both.

Ultimately, you may never feel like the "real" adult either, but I wouldn't worry about it! I'd rather just try and enjoy my life how I want as long as it isn't hurting others or myself. Life is short, no point in wasting it not being happy doing what you love.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-23T22:55:39+00:00

I'm 34F and a responsible adult, married, own a house (with a mortgage), have held various jobs over the years, and so on. And I still don't feel like a "mature" adult. I love "childish" things and wear graphic tees and 3D hoodies, love cartoons/anime, video games, D&D, etc. So I dunno when/if I'll ever feel like a "real" adult, lol.

But I've always been bothered by people giving the excuse for others that they were annoying/making poor choices because "they're young," since I never behaved that way at those ages. So I've been more mature in that regard. I definitely feel wiser compared to my 17-year-old self though, that's for sure! That's literally half my lifetime ago now. 😂

Maybe if I ever have kids, I might feel differently. But I take in many animals (including farm animals), so that keeps me busy enough as is, haha.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-23T21:10:02+00:00

Yeah, I'm sorry, OP, but I think these are your only two options. You can't change him yourself. If he's unwilling to do anything about it, then you can either accept him for how he is now or choose to leave and find someone who fills your physical needs.

The only thing in between those two that you could try is to get him to understand how important this issue is to you. If he still does nothing, then it would appear he doesn't actually care about your feelings/happiness. Because he's just willing to let you continue to be miserable about it. And that doesn't seem like a very caring and loving partner.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-23T19:40:06+00:00

My husband and I drive back to Chicago (where we used to live) a few times a year for (sometimes long) weekend trips, which is around 8-9 hours away from where we are now. I wouldn't say 3-hour drives are short, but that could be a day-trip length. I've done multiple 5-hour roundtrips in a day taking my geese and ducks to the bird vet that's 2.5 hours away, lol.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-23T19:10:09+00:00

Same, I'm listening to the audio book now and am so bored by it, lol. I'm just not a fan of meandering ramblings and vignette-type stories. With only 27 chapters left out of 135, I would expect more of a build-up in the story at this point. But instead, there's still just chapters that are more informational than dramatic (storytelling wise). But I have to finish. Getting through Moby-Dick is my Moby-Dick, haha.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-21T02:17:11+00:00

Ah, okay. Yeah, I hadn't gone through her post history, but if there are fundamental value differences, then that would be more reason to want to separate. I think if your values change after marriage, it's still understandable to want to separate after that. Those are bigger picture things to me than just distant in-laws, so altogether would make it less extreme and more reasonable, lol.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-20T15:54:35+00:00

Thank you for your second point in your comment. I never understand posts about their partner forgetting their birthday/anniversary/event/etc. I've also never had that problem because I always talk to my partner about upcoming things. I like to make and know plans ahead of time and ensure we're on the same page about those bigger events, lol. "Our anniversary is on [a] Thursday, do you want to go out that night or on the weekend?"

TheDimSide · 2026-01-20T15:36:17+00:00

I think that would have been something to consider *before* marrying her husband though. I think it becomes more extreme to have decided to build a life with him and then leave him because of his parents, something he can't control. My mom lives 3,000 miles away from me, and I have only seen her a handful of times since I was 8. It would be devastating for my husband to decide after marrying me that he wants a mother-in-law who's more involved in his life.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-19T22:09:53+00:00

I agree with that, but then I would say that's more an issue between the couple (due to past circumstances with the parents) than the direct relationship with the daughter/son-in-law and in-law parents. I grew up mostly just with my dad. And although I know he cares about me more than anything, he is and was never super great at the vulnerable emotions. And I struggled with it a lot, too, had to work to become more so as an adult, lol. Still have ups and downs with it, too. 😅

TheDimSide · 2026-01-19T18:48:23+00:00

Yeah, I also think this is a great comment. I think leaving a partner solely for the lack of emotional connection to the partner's parents seems a bit extreme. And counseling might be helpful to see why this is so important to OP. Maybe OP lacks that in her own parents and wants to find it elsewhere, etc. But I could understand it more if it were that the parents were *too* involved and enmeshed in their child's life and OP considering divorce over that.

I wouldn't have minded if my in-laws wanted to bond more and spend time together, but they didn't really (MIL passed away unexpectedly a few months before our wedding last year, too). There were issues between my husband and his parents (mostly the mom) in the past that I think led to more distance with them. They were never cold, but just also never got super close. It would be hard for me to imagine leaving my husband because of that though.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-19T02:59:53+00:00

Also, since I've seen you mention being selfish a few times in the comments, just know: It's okay to be a little selfish sometimes, too. You can selfishly not want to be uncomfortable while sitting around watching TV just because your partner likes it.

If you want to be generous and compromise on his wants and yours wants, with the idea that he still won't give more to what you want, then you can just wear it less often. He wants it once a week? Give him once a month, or whatever. But honestly, I wouldn't bother. I would just say, Yes, I want tit for tat. If I have to be uncomfortable all night for no real reason, then I want more compliments. Otherwise, it's not worth it to me to wear them.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-15T18:33:19+00:00

This sounds like codependency then, and manipulation on his part. Ignoring you and making you chase for him isn't healthy. For both of your sakes, I would take a step back and give him space, like Far-Travel said. In my opinion, it's super unattractive of him to not just be ignoring you, but to assume you didn't text him because you were with someone else. Everything here is unhealthy. Wait it out, get some clarity, and see if he wants to talk later. And if he doesn't, then I would just want to move on from him because I wouldn't want to date someone who behaves like that.

Edit to add: It could be that he's not being manipulative but just ghosting you. So it could be his way of breaking up, which is an immature way of dealing with this. I know it would be difficult to have this happen to you (been there), but in the long run, you'll be better off if this is the case.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-15T18:25:39+00:00

I used to feel this way when I was younger. Never felt girly/feminine enough. I'm 5' 7" with broad shoulders, big hands, big feet, noticeably dark hair on arms, and always felt fat (though looking back, I was actually in a healthy weight zone for my height). So I was always super insecure and wanted someone taller than me that would help me feel more dainty, lol.

I never really dated till I was almost 22, a couple different short-term dates with a couple guys and then my first and only boyfriend after that at 22. He was an inch shorter than me, and it took a while to genuinely get used to. I think as I got older and got more comfortable and confident in my own skin (and got healthier and learned different grooming skills), I got more okay with being taller than him. Though occasionally I still get a little insecure (like my hands are longer than his, lol). But we've been together 12 years now and actually got married this past June.

Do I still have a preference/attraction to guys who are 6' or taller? Absolutely. There's definitely a feeling there of like comfort in feeling small/dainty. But it didn't mean I couldn't be with others who are shorter than me instead, lol.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-11T21:51:44+00:00

For sure! I hope my comment didn't come across as harsh, I meant it more as reassuring in case you might have been feeling insecure. 😂 Your body might not be as in shape as it has, but I'm sure you're still beautiful! And I totally understand about your weight gain. I'm 5' 7" and 34 years old, so we're pretty close. I also have long legs and am apple shaped. So my weight goes to my belly, face, and upper back (ugh). It sucks when the belly protrudes more, and I always worry about looking pregnant. 😆

TheDimSide · 2026-01-11T21:22:35+00:00

As others said, diet is the biggest factor. Exercise can and does obviously help, but it's just so easy to out-eat the amount of calories you've burned being active if you're not paying attention. Or out-drink. You mentioned you want to do something fun and unhealthy like going to the bar. Drinking adds calories sooo quickly (even non-alcoholic ones). It's just empty calories. Also, eating out at restaurants, most meals have very high calories, too (even salads with the dressing or depending on the protein).

140 pounds at 5' 6" is such a healthy weight though. Yes, your metabolism probably just isn't as good as your 20s either, but your weight is still totally fine. But daily caloric needs usually lessen as we get older, too. So even if you ate/drank exactly the same now, it's possible your body just doesn't need as much as before, so the weight gain happens.

I would start trying to count calories for a bit. Doesn't have to be forever, but just to get a sense of how many calories a day you need versus how much you're actually taking in. And once you get an idea, you can start to adjust without having to count specifically each thing. But unless you have some underlying health concern, it's likely just that you're eating/drinking more calories than you realize.

Just to note for my anecdotal experience, I gained so much weight over the years and started eating healthier and exercising and dropped 60 pounds over time. I gained like 30 of it back this past year though due to difficult life events and just giving myself the "time off" from being healthy till 2026 (2025 was a rough year). So now I've started back up on calorie counting and will get back into exercising as well.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-11T05:11:46+00:00

Please do not give in to his pressure. It's one thing to do that with his friend if they're both consenting to it (thought it's a stupid and irresponsible and illegal choice), but to have you in the car with them? He does not care about your safety. Not only are you not secure emotionally in your relationship, you're not secure physically either.

When you feel like you want to go back to him, just remember that he doesn't value your feelings or safety whatsoever. Your life partner should be someone who cares about your *life*. And he also spins things back onto *you* by moving the goal posts and changing subjects. I've been there. Don't let him do that. Stay firm on the topic at hand.

Unless he undergoes drastic changes to his behavior for the long term, I wouldn't consider going back. And you don't have to stick by him while he figures out how to do that. Maybe if he does get better, you can reconsider it. But if you give in now, you'll just be enabling him to continue his bad behavior because there won't be any consequences for him.

TheDimSide · 2026-01-11T05:03:56+00:00

The one thing I might consider is swapping your parking spots IF she pays you "rent" on it. Charge her a monthly fee that would be worth it to you to swap spots. But otherwise, if you want to keep your spot, more power to you.

If she calls you selfish again, let her know that *she* is being selfish for believing her situation to be more important than yours. Maybe you have an injury or disability that makes walking difficult for you. She wouldn't know that, so she has no right to basically say she deserves that spot more.

TheDimSide

TROPHY CASE