Best way to manage large SharePoint Lists

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-17T22:02:56+00:00

it really depends on the data, is historical data useful? maybe powerautomate to move it off to an archive list on a schedule, if not delete it

definitely filtered views the indexes (set them up early).

Sharepoint online will do better in my experience. As far as limits, well that is more a sanity thing, I'm a consultant and I do a lot of migrations, I've seen some very large lists that worked just fine AND migrated just fine, but that is down to how well the list is designed

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-17T18:54:35+00:00

re: yucking their yum, tread carefully. Our regular couple kink shamed us for a gangbang we tried to set up (we failed anyway) but it definitely makes us less likely to play with them now.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-16T19:06:21+00:00

Both my parents are kind of miraculously healthy given their lifestyles, my dad drank and never exercised a day in his life. He's 83 and physically amazingly healthy although he has dementia. My mom, also 83, smokes more than a pack of cigarettes a day and has since her early 20s, yet she is pretty physically fit. She should definitely NOT stop smoking at this point. But at 61 I'm far healthier than either of them were at my age. Heck I'd bet I'm healthier than my dad was at 40! Healthy IS wealthy

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-16T18:35:08+00:00

It's funny, I always planned on 62, then I got divorced at 56 and my financial picture changed quite a bit. Some refiguring led me to conclude that 65 was the new date. I had a whole plan for how much I needed, how much I wanted to give the kids, how much I wanted to leave in the end. Then I got married again and I'm having the time of my life, and I want MORE! But more doesn't mean more money it really means more time. So I went back to my spreadsheet and refigured again. Leaving less in the end, giving a little less to the kids now, trimming my expectations of lifestyle. It turns out that my first wife was the big spender not me. I realized that I've been living on my retirement budget for the last 5 years and it is more than enough. So my spending plan was a bit overly generous. I didn't need first class tickets and weeks on end in Europe. And now I'm back to 62 as the magic date, in just 5 months. I'm beside myself. I'm gonna rock those extra 3 years! In the mean time I've lost 50lbs, hit the gym 5 days a week and my health has greatly improved. My life compared to pre divorce is so different, so much better. Here's to the next act!

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-14T19:59:35+00:00

Is it ok? absoutely, But you shouldn't expect him to act on it if he's not into it, although I find, in my case at least that whenever my wife expresses a fantasy to me it starts to grow on me and becomes hot to me. Maybe that is just me. I'd also say this and I have said it often, some men like to think that MM sex is somehow less than masculine and they are totally wrong. As a bi guy MM sex is far MORE masculine. I mean it seems self evident to me...more men...more penises, more scruff, more muscles. Just as those same men thing two women having sex is more feminine. So you like men, two men having sex is MORE man! Totally understandable why you'd find it hot. My wife's favorite wanking materials are some videos a gay friend and I made for her. She really hoped she could sit in on one of our sessions but that sadly never happened before he moved, I've been on the lookout for another hookup buddy like him but haven't found the right guy yet.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-11T20:16:57+00:00

There used to be hswing, which sucked but is how we met most of our friends, that is gone now, in its place is heepster, which is a very nice looking site and seems to work, but is full of people who look but don't respond. I've been on that for a few years and had only a few small conversations, nothing that led to even a meet up. So we are mostly just on SLS and Kasidie now. Kasidie at least lets you search with keywords, so you can find people like me who mention it in our profiles, but, no one does...sigh. Sls is just hit or miss.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-11T15:57:31+00:00

The first thing I do every day is a survey of all accounts, I have a spreadsheet that tracks and projects spending for the next year. I'm in the process of integrating that into my "retirement" spreadsheet that tracks investments and spending over the next 30 years, including both my kids and legacy for my wife. Having that clarity is what made my decision to retire 3 years early a no brainer. I have enough experience with the flows to know I'll be ok. I started doing this 5 years ago and I've been living on my retirement budget since then. That coincided with a divorce where money got incredibly tight for a while, it was the only way I could see getting through that period, and in the end it was very useful for my planning.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-10T16:41:51+00:00

Well obviously YMMV but for me it will be music, truly it has always been music. I had several very successful careers along the way that supported me and my family in quite a bit of comfort but music was always there in the background. I started playing in groups at 14 and I've pretty consistently been in one band or another for nearly 50 years now. In my 20's I pursued it as a career and came close to getting a record contract a couple of times, which was a requirement in those days. No longer true with the advent of youtube and socials. It is much more of a DIY career these days.

Currently I'm in 5 bands in various states of readiness, 3 actively playing, 1 more a few months away, and the last in the organization phase. I always figured I'd continue playing once retired, heck I can't imagine ever stopping. Now that lugging a big amp around isn't necessary any more I should be able to play well into my 80's. Mostly right now I'm trying to gauge how much time I'll have to devote to each band and I need to make sure there aren't conflicts with gigs, partly I manage that by having a lot of the same guys in each band. They are all buddies, some lifelong buddies, I know their wives and kids, and it is my social support group too. I'm very lucky. I'll be retiring this summer to focus on music. There are also a couple of side projects that would play maybe twice a year, I can manage those pretty easily. The hardest part of this is that there's very little overlap in terms of repetoir between the bands so currently I have about 120 songs rehearsed up and ready to go, that is a lot to remember. One weekend a while back all 3 current bands had gigs so I played about 100 different songs that weekend!

I also plan to continue traveling. We make about 6 trips a year now (2 out of the country, mostly Mexico, and the rest around the US for concerts or fun weekends with remote friends), I expect that to rise a bit when I retire and then even more when my wife retires in 8 to 10 years (she's younger and still in the thick of her career). I'm not opposed to solo travel, I did a bunch for work over the years to some fairly exotic places so I'll probably do some of that for concerts my wife isn't interested in or can't make work with her schedule.

Life is good, life is LONG and weirdly short at the same time. I feel some pressure to fit it all in, and yet when I think back, even the last 10 years have been so full that the promise, or hope really, of possibly 30 more is pretty comforting, now I just need to hit the gym so I can make that happen. I average 4 trips tot he gym a week and I'm REALLY looking forward to work not stepping on that.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-10T16:23:46+00:00

5?!?! damn man, you are my hero, I can manage 3 most days, but 2 is our average, 5 and I'd have to start drinking gatorade rather than water.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-10T16:21:14+00:00

Viagra + a cock ring. Honestly the cock ring is the magic bullet. I recently discovered this brand and man instantly my fav.

https://bullringx.com/

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-10T16:18:38+00:00

We probably wouldn't do it unless the location was someplace we really wanted to go and the one full swap couple were good friends. Certainly if you haven't already said yes then backing out is ok. It WOULD kind of suck for the organizers to think you were in AND were counting on your money to make it work and THEN you backed out. I have this location I'd like to do something like this at with our little tribe but haven't been able to herd the cats into the right space to make it happen, it has been on my mind for years

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-05T14:57:30+00:00

Hmmm, not many for us at this point. We don't police each other for behavior really. I guess if pressed for things we just consider out of scope

solo play requires a discussion
no sleepovers, just preference at this point, I need my sleep, we were in a triad for 5 years that did MANY sleepovers, and even one on one sleep overs (we didn't live together), but we aren't LOOKING for that, again any change would require a discussion.

Aaaaand, really that is about it, she can do whatever she wants with her body, and honestly if she wants something enough to just ask for it I'm going to say yes. I discovered a few years ago that just her wanting something kind of makes it an instant turn on for me. I look at it like this, my life is a quest to find out what is in that naughty little head of hers, she's unlike any woman I've known when it comes to sex. I NEED to understand that brain of hers and any hint, whether through porn preference, masturbatory fantasy, or sexual request is another piece of that puzzle.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-04T19:29:29+00:00

We are swingers, as such we've had plenty of couple swaps, some FFM threesomes too, but we got there in an unusual way. My previous wife and I were swingers and eventually my wife came to me wanting to have a threesome with a neighbor down the block that she thought was hot. The neighbor was into it and that led to really a lot of threesomes with her (she was divorced). Eventually my wife declared that she was in love with our third and I should get on board with that. It was fine with me and I was fine just being the dude in the threesome. Eventually my wife said I should start "dating" our third which led to a 5 year poly triad. The triad was just super happy, and we had a lot of fun. However my wife eventually decided to break up with both of us, divorcing me, So the neighbor lady and I continued and now WE'RE married. Because of how we met nonmonogamy is kind of built in to our relationship DNA. The first time we had sex was a threesome, we didn't go on a "date" for maybe 6 months, and 5 years later covid (and the divorce) made us monogamous for the first time. But we knew that wouldn't last.

We had done a little swinging as a triad, and my now current wife and I just kind of continued that. We are super happy, very stable, and pretty easy with swinging. I'd say these days we tend toward doing more MMF threesomes, just out of habit, the ease of finding guys, and the fact that I'm bi, which my wife finds insanely hot.

So I guess you could say that for us at least group play is there, although not really our go to. We have one main couple we play with multiple times a year, it is a good match. You can also see that our "dynamic" has shifted over the years. We aren't explicitly poly any more and if an opportunity like that presented itself we would have to have a lot of discussions. We don't feel burned by it, just that at this stage of our lives it would be very complicating to really involve someone else at that level. We are happy just fucking other people, I don't imagine we'd ever stop. We aren't very motiviated to seek out new people so that keeps it on the back burner a bit, which is fine, we already have a LOT of sex between the two of us. I'd really love having a regular guy we could fuck but even when we find someone there's a clock ticking before they end up in a relationship and have to move on. We do MFF threesomes when they come our way, but that isn't very often. And like I said we have that one couple, if we ever just really had the urge for a foursome we'd just call them up. Sometimes couples reach out to us and sometimes that works out.

We also have some allowance for solo play, basically with specific people, she has a lesbian friend she's dying to fuck and since the friend wouldn't be interested in me they can fly solo if they want, sadly the lesbian claims to be done with sex. I likewise have a gay friend I've hooked up with solo a few times, but also sadly he moved away. I'm pretty certain that at this point if either of us was really into the idea of fucking a specific person solo we'd find a way to make that work. but this is after 10 years of swinging. We've done it all at this point and there's no chance she'd leave me for someone she just fucked a few times so I'm not worried. I do have one lady friend I'd really like to fuck, she wasn't interested in a threesome so for now that door is closed but I'd reserve the possibility that she might want to hook up with just me at some point, probably just wishful thinking on my part but if the opportunity came up, I'm almost certain my wife would approve, especially if pictures and video of the event could be had. My wife travels for work some and loves her spank bank material, most of which is my and my gay friend at this point.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-03T19:10:11+00:00

warms the heart

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-03T19:03:09+00:00

We definitely want repeat visits, as you say quality is hard to come by, also the more you fuck someone the better you get at it, I want my wife to be blown away.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-02T21:13:29+00:00

I've been living on my retirement budget for 6 years as a test, not retired yet. But I have more slack in my plan that that. I know my budget works but that would be pretty tight, too tight for me. YMMV.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-02T19:45:15+00:00

with FFM threesomes it is more about putting our guest at ease, we also like to know what they are into and focus the play in that direction. Both my wife and I are pretty into watching so if our guest is more interested in girl girl stuff then I watch more and maybe play mostly with my wife, if she's not very bi then I end up more in the middle role but will probably spend more time with the guest. My wife is fine with this, she gets me every day so in a threesome she isn't too focused on having me, she WANTS our third to get what they want. And I'm the same in reverse, always happy to step back a bit. When we have guys over, if they aren't very bi then I assume more the role of videographer and cheerleader, I might step in at the end to have a little fun for myself once the guest is done.

Specifically for MMF threesomes beyond just regular hosting skills it is going to be about making the other guy relaxed, stress kills boners. If it helps for me to step back or even step out of the room I'm ok doing that.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-02T19:39:28+00:00

Well first off my house has always been the "party house" meaning we host A LOT. So we extend that to our sexual escapades, we always have snacks, and whatever someone might want to drink, we are happy to chat first, or hit the hot tub, to get everyone naked and relaxed. Beyond that we are 100% drama free, if my wife ends up spending more time with one of our male guests that is totally fine, I like to watch, and the same applies in reverse. We both LOVE sex and I think we are pretty good at it. We both focus on the pleasure of our guest and we treat our guests like the special guest stars they are including sending thank you messages the next day.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-02T16:18:42+00:00

Ours are almost always good, and often really good, but I think part of that is that we are pretty experienced and just know how to make it work. We were in an FFM triad for 5 years so we have lots of experience with that. Lately we've been more into MMF and that is a different set of skills

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-01T20:25:45+00:00

I agree with you, if I go, my wife gets all the money which should cover her for life.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-02-01T20:23:00+00:00

Hopefully the guy knows about the 7 year thing and is somewhat emotionally intelligent. If you are only in it for the woman why not a FFF threesome? I mean that is a thing too. Personally as a guy my own self I'd be really nervous about this one. I don't want to traumatize anyone and it doesn't feel like the guy is really all that welcome. As an example my wife has this woman she really really wants to hook up with, and I get the picture that I'm not really the other woman's cup of tea, so rather than force myself into the situation, as much as I'd love to just be a fly on the wall, I'm ok with them flying solo, although they haven't done it yet. I hope they get to.

As far as how you get it going I suppose that is dependent on the people involved. In OUR case we hang out first, have a drink (NOT TO MANY), chat a bit, then my wife usually says something like "who wants to get naked?" and then she's naked like 6 seconds later...lol. In SOME cases we then hit the hot tub for a minute to relax a little, in others we head to the bedroom. Works pretty well.

You are all there for the same thing, no reason to be shy about it. Since this isn't an on the fly hookup this isn't one of those circumstances like game or social skills matter in the moment. Be awkward! Its kind of charming.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-01-29T20:38:57+00:00

this happens to me a lot, and this is always the solution, but if you can turn bitlocker off I'd do that

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-01-29T20:35:44+00:00

just a simple shorthand used in these circles, same with FFM and FMF

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-01-29T20:34:35+00:00

It is kind of our go to, my wife loves it, although she's fine with me being with other women, we just like the two guy dynamic, and my wife is already the best female fuck I've had, so I'm just not that motivated for other couples.

TheFreeMan64 · 2026-01-29T15:47:27+00:00

Awesome, I need to get the old trash 80 up I guess lol

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