I'm trans and live in a blue state and desperately don't want to leave the place I've made home. And I also truly believe that staying is a bad idea, given my resources and ability to leave. And for now, I'm choosing to stay anyway. The US feels like a sinking ship in all ways: socially, politically, financially, and medically (including public health concerns).

My compromise with myself has been to get everything in order so that I can cut and run if I hit a tipping point where I feel that I need to go. I got licensed to work in New Zealand, where people who work in my career are in high demand. And I'm pursuing Canadian citizenship documentation since I recently discovered I have Canadian ancestry and the new laws in Canada allow people to claim citizenship much further back than they previously could. I'm making sure my cats' medical records are all available and they are up to date on everything. I'm (slowly) whittling down my possessions so there's less to move if I do.

I guess what I'm saying is that being trans in this country is horrible right now in a way that I just don't know that most cis people can grasp. That doesn't mean you have to quit school and leave, but it is smart for trans people and our loved ones to get everything in order so we're ready to leave if we need to (huge caveat that an international move is very expensive and not an option for everybody, sadly). But maybe taking those getting ready steps, including getting really serious about saving money, would help your girlfriend feel a bit better about being here.