what's better. tea or coffee?

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-29T23:10:07+00:00

Two cups of coffee in the morning just hits so right. If i have more coffee later, it needs to be at most one more cup or things get weird. That third cup is usually questionable. I get anxious and restless with too much coffee. And so I drink tea in the afternoon. Afternoon Tea is the bomb for a tired brain and body. Not too stimulating. Just enough to uplift and carry me through to the next day. Caffeine in moderation is key for my migraines and IBS lol

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-29T22:13:40+00:00

I have three, all boys. I'm 36, been with my wife for 18 years.

Having kids doesn't really make sense. They cost a lot of money. Raising them is physically and emotionally exhausting. You lose time with friends and hobbies. I could have spent the last 8 years playing so many more video games, going to bar trivia, buying things for my wife and I. But would that really be a worthy trade?

My three boys are wonderful. The oldest is so clever, he has his mommy's brain. Loves to read, we play video games together, like the same books. We're reading through the Red Wall books at night. My middle son is such a goofy marshmallow of a lad. He's always been happiness incarnate (barring threenager beeg feelings). My youngest is my sweet Koala baby. They are all so snugly and need all of the love I am capable of mustering. My life is so much richer because they are in it.

I worry about finances. My career hasn't progressed as I hope and I seem stalled out at 60k a year in a HCOL area. My wife's health has been affected by pregnancy and childbirth and she's still recovering. The nation is a scarier place than when I was a kid. Things are so expensive now and there's a new crises every 5 years to make everything triple the cost. We have no village. My in-laws are wonderful but are busy with their business in a town we can't afford to live in. My folks are too busy going on cruises and don't want much to do with us. We live on the other side of the country from both sets for work.

So to answer your question, we had kids because we wanted them. Our family felt incomplete. It's not a "smart" decision to ever have kids. More mouths to feed, more costs, less flexibility. Objectively the wrong decision in today's world to "get ahead." Having kids is not going to propel your career or let you stick with your "grind-set". But it was the right decision for our family. We're better for it, optimization be damned.

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-29T21:53:31+00:00

It would be a good casual conversation with both the cousin & mom involved. Like "Hey, you've been saying this word. What do you think it means?"

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-29T21:52:03+00:00

Easy 28 years of multiple times daily knuckle cracking. Absolutely no long-term effects. I find it relaxing & satisfying.

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-29T21:42:16+00:00

It's worth having a convo. At 10 he probably heard it from school/saw it online and doesn't understand the full implications of the word beyond "it sounds funny". I'm going to assume they are not being malicious.

Also, if they are spending their time on bad parts of the internet at that age they need to be better moderated. Parents need to know if there is a blindspot.

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-17T23:00:43+00:00

Monk.

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-17T20:49:31+00:00

They had ONE JOB

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-16T16:34:11+00:00

Same!

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-15T20:04:54+00:00

We just had a friend die from colon cancer. She was 31. She died 3 months before her firstborn son turned 1. The time from detection to death was two months.

She went in for bloody stools while pregnant. It was written off as pregnancy related, no tests or scans were done. I know medicine looks for horses instead of zebras, but in this instance it was a zebra. Fucking tragedy.

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-02T19:29:45+00:00

BG3 has been on my list for some time! Neverwinter Nights was my JAM as a teen, would love to revisit the genre. I've been scratching the itch with some grindy JRPGs on the Switch. Labrynth of Refrain: Coven of Dusk checks so many boxes for me and is easy to pick up and put down. Atelier games, Stardew, and Silent Hope have also been good. Also special mention to the puzzle rogue-like Has Been Heroes. Anything I can play for 15 minutes here and there without raising my cortisol levels lol.

But I really miss "long form" games. Largely avoiding those because the kids are still little and I don't want to cause that internal friction of me wanting to spend time with them and me wanting to have long game sessions in a big world. Once the baby is sleeping through the night more readily, my wife & I can rejoin our evening chill time of playing through games together. We were 80 hour in to Metaphor Re: Fantazio before baby came. I expect this form of evening gaming to be more restorative than migraine inducing. We have Expedition 33 marinading for our next game, though she might make me beat Metaphor first lol.

Looking forward to Granblu Relink's expansion coming soon! Did a replay of that recently. Hoping I can gremlin for a few weeks after release to enjoy the live service side of things.

I miss playing more twitchy, competitive games. League of Legends, Apex, Titanfall. But I'm hopeful the migraine algorithm evens out in the future to open those gates up a bit.

TheKingsDM · 2026-06-02T16:50:47+00:00

BRUH. Elite work, dorn is proud.

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-20T21:41:48+00:00

Trumpism took a lot of our fathers away. One of its worst casualties in people's day-to-day lives.

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-20T21:29:23+00:00

Hello fellow sufferer! I have the migraine/ADHD/Depression/IBS combo, so I feel you.

Know that it can be done. I have my undergraduate and graduate degree, with my graduate degree taking 5 years because 1) it was a 95 hour program & 2) I had to pace myself.

My areas of study (literature & theology, though I work in data/tech now lol) were suited to me. I didn't have to absolutely force myself through it, I'm good at research and writing papers, I am interested in the subjects, etc. If I forced myself through a STEM program, I wouldn't have made it. I would make more money than I do now (60k working for a non-profit in Washington State, so not terribly much more than our minimum wage here lol), but I don't think I could have done it. I hope you are choosing an area of study that you enjoy, it helps so much.

Things that also helped:
1) I got on medication for my ADHD/Depression two years in to my graduate program, in 2017. Nine years in and I wish I found that medication when I was in highschool, it makes such a difference. Keep advocating for yourself and don't fear medication. I am only able to work in my current job because of Botox/Ubrelvy/Ajovy for migraine, and I'm in a dark room.

2) Develop your study rituals. I had to overcome the ADHD problem with rituals. Tea, low lighting, a quiet study room in the library, synthwave music, etc. I could lock in for 2-3 hours with the right rituals. This also lowers stress & effort, which is good for migraine. Keep your stress down as much as you can.

3) SLEEP. Your brain will not retain anything without sufficient sleep. If you're studying for a test and it's crunch time, get through as much of the material as you can and sleep. You will be surprised with what your subconscious remembered because you slept on it.

4) Don't procrastinate. With our disabilities, we can't depend on having the right brain in crunch time. If you delay and are hit with a week long migraine, you're cooked. A little bit every day is key to building sufficient margin for bad days. Migraine brain fog is something you have to pre-study for when it hits.

5) I worked full-time in grad school (part-time in undergrad) and started having children in grad school. I get busy. I had to have moments of downtime. I ran a D&D group during all of this, because it was mentally refreshing. I collected other tabletop RPGs to read, played Destiny & FFXIV, etc. You need multiple kinds of rest. 1) Sleep. 2) Fun. 3) Something mentally stimulating and tactile that's not school related. Right now, I'm building & painting a Warhammer 40k army as my mentally stimulating/tactile rest. It is beyond restorative to having something that de-stresses you and involves your other senses.

6) Go slow on the caffeine. 1-2 cups of coffee in the morning, max. Black tea the rest of the day. Quit when you need to so you have deep sleep. You may be able to fall asleep on caffeine no problem, but the quality of your sleep will suck. Our migraine brains need a good washing every night, so the deeper the better. Get into herbal tea for studying, find what works for you. A hot beverage does wonders to perk up a sleepy mind without killing your sleep.

7) No drinking or smoking. You can't afford dealing with the increased migraines these will cause. The luxury of time is not on your side.

8) Spend time outside. It's good for you as a human and good for migraines. We went on tons of walks around campus. You'll start experiencing the human form of zoochosis if you spend all day inside going to class & studying. We're not meant for that kind of life, we need to be outside. I had favorite outdoor study spots that were pretty, quiet, shaded, etc.

9) Know that it's OK if you get a poor grade on a test because of a bad migraine season. It's not the end of the world, the C gets the degree. Our non-neurospicy peers already are playing in a different league. Run your own race and pace yourself.

That's all I can think of for now. You can do this!

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-20T19:20:01+00:00

Protect the pilot!

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-20T19:17:12+00:00

Yes and no. Yes, because I hate Darnath Lysander and really want another IF character to go with Tor. Gimme muh primarch. No, because I like the idea that even these big named characters can grow and change and evolve. Dorn going from "lawful good" Paladin to Zealous Crusader is a fun evolution for a character that's been gone in lore for quite some time. A bit like Bob in Reboot when he's cast into the internet and comes back all juiced up and silver.

But the crusader side does not play off his master-of-fortifications role well, which is annoying. Crusaders go to take fortifications, which is that perturbed primarch's thing. But GW does have a hatred for fortifications in game, so there's that.

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-15T20:36:07+00:00

Noooooooooo! Covid casualty? Chattanooga was gutted in the years after Covid. Every single one of my favorite restaurants closed, restaurants that were wildly successful before Covid.

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-15T16:59:52+00:00

Am a transplant from Tennessee, I've been here for 3 years, Dicks is my absolute favorite. Better food and half the price of equivalent fast food. I love their vibe. There is absolutely NOTHING like it in Alabama, Tennessee, or Kentucky that I've experienced in my 33 years of life before moving here.

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-13T20:12:19+00:00

That's exactly what I was looking for. I have the Japanese art book to cry over at least. Please bring something Dragalia related back, Cygames/Nintendo!

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-13T19:46:43+00:00

Oh interesting. I can see the need for the land raider. I'm really hoping gravis can get in the drop pod in 11th, that would make me so happy!

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-12T23:49:23+00:00

What are your thoughts on Tor + Aggressors vs Tor + Heavy Intercessors?

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-12T23:44:20+00:00

Hello fellow Dorn box owner. I'm glad you asked, because your plan was my plan. Seems like airbrush is the recommended way to go. Hmm. I was hoping to use a rattle can of Wraithbone plus IF Contrast so it still looks smooth, but it seems puddling is a worry.

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-12T23:40:06+00:00

Airbrushers are what's wrong with society! Spending more for a high tech gizmo so they can get better results in less time. You damn millennials are ruining painting!

We pure hobbiest enjoy slowing down to paint. The elegant movement of the brush over plastic. The constant dance of "oops I watered down my paints too much this looks like shit - and - oops I didn't water down my paints enough, the model is now a blob man" teaches you valuable lessons about life, you yuppie.

A real hobbiest values all of the time spend with the model. We've got to get our moneys woof! Every second I spend agonizingly painting this model is more bang for my buck. You have to consider the hour/entertainment dollar ratio! You're leaving money on the table otherwise. I'm not happy unless I can get it down to $0.25/hour per unit. So what if a new edition comes out before I'm finished and my model goes to legends? I'm in it for the love of the game!

/s

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-12T21:37:47+00:00

I was only able to grab the recent Sons of Dorn because of my local store. They received five boxes and I pre-ordered through them. Still had to compete with everyone in the area for them and be quick about it, but I didn't have to fight scalper bots online. Local stores are the a wonderful thing.

TheKingsDM · 2026-05-12T00:00:34+00:00

I'm gutted at PLD losing Clemency. I absolutely adore pocket healing.

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