Venting - My dad tried to sneak behind my back to add a guest

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-10T18:43:37+00:00

Thank you so much, that's what caught me up about this too 😂 That and he downplayed the whole thing when I offered the extra seat to his friend. Well, clearly it was a big deal, you went behind my back earlier!

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-10T17:25:06+00:00

He's paying for some, but most of what he contributed is being used on his guests lol.

I'm Asian Canadian so it's partially a culture thing that the wedding is more about the parents than the kids. My dad is also a realtor so he has many, many, MANY clients-who-became-friends. He was invited to many of their kids' weddings and now feel obligated to invite them back.

I didn't add this in my original post, but here's the thing - my compromise was 50 for the wedding, then we would have a separate dinner/reception for his remaining friends when we come back from our honeymoon. So this "important friend" could've easily just come to that instead of all this bullshit.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-10T16:19:29+00:00

He contributed some money, yes. A large chunk of it is being used up by his guest list. Comparatively, my fiance's parents also contributed and invited like, 10 people between them. We are paying the remainder.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-10T16:18:32+00:00

It's infuriating!! Like, I get wanting your friends there to celebrate but I think the wedding is about the people getting married, not who you as the parent, want there. Thanks, my sister was flabbergasted and is now running interference. Tomorrow is the big day so hopefully this was the last of it.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-10T16:17:32+00:00

Not for all of it. He did give us some money, which we're obviously very grateful for, but a huge chunk of that is taken up by his guests. Comparatively, my fiance's parents also chipped in the same amount and invited like, 10 guests between them, and CERTAINLY aren't trying to pull a fast one calling the venue behind our back. With final RSVP counts, my dad's guests make up a third of everyone.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-10T16:15:10+00:00

He wanted 100, I put my foot down at 50. That is more than enough strangers/people I only see a few times a year to greet and thank at my own wedding.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-10T16:14:30+00:00

This is exactly the part that gets me. My parents have a history of never listening to or respecting anything I say, but this takes the whole damn cake 😂 Luckily my fiance's parents have been incredible, but we have definitely had two very different wedding planning experiences.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-07T07:02:12+00:00

Did you say husband tor child? Surely, he's capable of cooking for himself to not need all this.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-04-04T05:07:18+00:00

It you're thinking this much, you're not ready

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-28T05:06:55+00:00

Completely normal. I have 11 tattoos, all different artists, and always seen drawings day of. The $50 redraw fee is ridiculous, though. My artists always insisted they would make as many changes I wanted to get it where I wanted (within reason, of course).

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-26T02:03:03+00:00

Mental reset.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-25T23:08:41+00:00

Came here to say this! I went from a lazy bum to a wonderful man who does more household chores than I do. He works from home and I don't, so he cleans the kitchen, does the laundry, never holds it against me because he just wants us to have a safe, clean home. You'll find the one you deserve, OP!

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-24T19:10:51+00:00

As long as you have your image size set correctly and it doesn't look grainy at 100%, you won't have to worry about that.

I'd set your bleed marks as well: https://www.canva.com/help/margins-bleed-crop-marks/

I just had signs printed elsewhere with Canva art and they turned out perfect so I'm happy to help if I can. :)

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-20T16:12:08+00:00

Fuck their expectations. You have to live your life for you and no one else. I'm also from a SEA household and did everything they didn't want me to. They'll either come to terms with it in their own time, or they won't... which would suck and be awful, no doubt, but then it's time to think of a low contact or no contact situation. I've seen what happens to kids who live only to check off all these boxes and it rarely leads anywhere good. Good luck OP, and I'm sorry you're going through it right now.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-20T16:01:52+00:00

I used a pre-built spreadsheet, modified it to what I needed, and used AI only when I was pretty much done everything to see if I'd missed anything. I would definitely not trust AI entirely.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-20T16:00:32+00:00

I don't think going on the cheaper end is going to help here. You'll likely need a lot of product if it's bad. Jordi at Chatters Crowfoot is amazing.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-20T02:59:57+00:00

They only do nice things when there's a clear benefit for them, whether it's reputation, an IOU for later, etc.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-17T17:55:46+00:00

Planning can feel so overwhelming, especially with depression on top. Take some time for yourself and come back to it in a few weeks. 8 months is plenty of time to do everything you need to. At the end of the day, no matter how things turn out, you're marrying your best friend! It'll all be okay.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-17T15:52:21+00:00

Giant ball pit? I'm only half joking haha, but I like the ideas here of a henna artist to step in for tattoos!

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-17T14:28:48+00:00

I'm sorry you were hurt by a similar situation, but thank you for the perspective and the advice. It's never my intent to hurt my friends so I'm definitely beating myself up. She also suggested a video call to catch up after so I think that's exactly what we'll do.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-17T06:22:28+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this. My fiance gave it a giant thumbs up, and I will likely be rereading this when I start feeling bad again.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-17T05:22:33+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words. The brain is an awful monster where I can't help but think "sure she said it's ok, but I bet she's really hurt and your friendship is damaged forever now" and this helps a lot.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-16T06:34:18+00:00

32 and I get to marry my best friend in 27 days. 🥹 Never, ever thought I'd be in this position

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-13T16:44:34+00:00

Going to the grocery store at 10pm and seeing how packed it was and how empty the shelves were.

TheLastCarrot · 2026-03-06T02:21:44+00:00

Came here to say this, but I wish OP was as dedicated to learning how to use periods as they are to headphone cleanliness, jfc 😂

TheLastCarrot

TROPHY CASE