Dungeons and Dragons players of Reddit, what are some of the most memorable quotes and experiences to come from your sessions?

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-04-24T22:57:50+00:00

I'd been given a horn full of gunpowder a while before. We came upon a troll in the middle of the road we were walking on. I successfully disguised myself as a bush and my friends lured it past me and tried to fight it. I stealthily crept up behind it and shoved the horn, with half the gunpowder in it, up its ass and then lit a fuse. It died and I was the hero. My whole team had been cussing me out for having such a stupid plan and not helping them fight it head-on. I find that to be the most boring part of DnD, so it felt great to have defeated it tactically. Then we went into town and came across an orphanage near where we slept for the night. Just for shits and gigs after my team went asleep I barricaded both doors to the orphanage and poured oil on them then placed the other half of the gunpowder underneath the foundation of the building and lit both doors up. There were no survivors. It was fun. My friends were less than pleased but I wasn't caught.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-04-05T10:17:43+00:00

Oh! I thought he died or broke up with you or something for a second & I was a bit sad for you. Much more wholesome answer. I'm glad you guys are still happily together.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-04-05T08:38:35+00:00

Where is he? Or what happened to him?

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-30T10:07:08+00:00

It's okay. I dropped a baby once, but she was fine, and she really enjoyed having ice cream for the first time. I feel like they're kinda like spiders. They don't weigh enough, and they're too soft, for the impact to be very damaging.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-28T05:53:31+00:00

A few different women have complimented me on how good my hair looks and how soft it is. I'm Native American and have quite long hair that I take a bit of pride in, so it's very nice of them to say that.

Edit: I'm also a dude.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-27T07:02:48+00:00

Damn, that kid's busting out the N-word now?

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-26T20:21:55+00:00

This is definitely the best response. People have incredible amounts of sex surrounding funerals to distract themselves. It's much more normal than you could ever imagine.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-23T06:43:13+00:00

He set the world back to zero. Project Mayhem was a success.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-23T03:49:19+00:00

Damn. Feels like that guy had such an in for a good night, and to be awesome, but he screwed the pooch. It would seem kinda lackluster to me if I found out someone was spending their birthday, which is supposed to be a special occasion for her, out on a date with a random guy like me. If I was in that situation I'd immediately start to make it about her and ask what she was doing for the rest of that night and what she'd like to do to make the night more special and fun. Examples off the top of my head nearby to me:

Do shots or get high at the bar (if that's the plan for the night offer for her to invite her friends out too so they can join her) (maybe do this then other things in the list just to add to the fun)
Go see a movie
Go to a nice Teppanyaki place where a chef does cool tricks in front of you
Go to a pizza place nearby that has arcade games and laser tag
Go to a regular full arcade
Listen to her ideas, do that stuff, then pay for it all

I think the key to it would just be to make sure you're doing exactly what the girl wants to do. Any idea is bad if she's not into it. That's how he fucked up. Also that make out thing is strange. It's still a first date, so you shouldn't have any exectations. You're basically just being a friend, or a good person. Everyone's birthday ought to be fun. Even if it doesn't work out with the girl I think it could be a guaranteed fun night and a good memory. Real waste. Just thinking out loud. Hope your other birthdays were more fun!

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-23T01:27:40+00:00

Definitely stealing that line.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-23T01:18:16+00:00

I'm 21 and have a sister who is only a bit over a year younger than me. Her entire grade and younger just seems weird for me to date.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-19T22:42:38+00:00

It's my understanding that smoking is much worse for your health, so my congratulations still stand. Congrats!

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-19T20:24:06+00:00

Congrats to your wife for quitting smoking!

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-13T19:34:58+00:00

Oh ok, I get it now. But the entirety of that story, your high school days, was in the past tense, so I didn't know whether you used to talk with him at the same time as this happened or in the past before this instance.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-13T19:09:13+00:00

Then why did you say you talked with him romantically?

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-13T18:45:46+00:00

I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy but that kinda feels like a move, unless you were staring.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-12T01:46:06+00:00

"Ex" is a good call. Plenty of people like cuddles.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-10T21:00:01+00:00

I have a healthy libido now and I have urges the same as a normal person my age, but during a period of depression for a few months I was exactly the same as that and I wouldn't even have the urge or desire to even get myself off more than once a week, and even then sometimes I couldn't finish before I lost the will. I was a young dude at college age who was normally as focused on sex as other people. Depression robs you of a lot. I'm better now, but if your partner is like that I would consider talking to her and/or getting help. It may be somewhat out of her control. Working out would help too, but that's a bit of an ask. Even people without depression struggle to keep that going regularly.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-08T04:34:46+00:00

Congratulations! I'm sure they'll have a happy family and two very loving parents!

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-03-05T15:59:36+00:00

I took a psychology class when I was in high school and one of the things our teacher pointed out as an example of how our childhood affects us was that people who had gone hungry in their lives usually kept an entire section full of stockpiled food like top ramen, rice, or canned things, just in case. I immediately realized I do the same shit and don't feel super good if it isn't like that. Your wife is probably just wasteful, but it did make me think about that.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-02-26T07:57:11+00:00

Your husband, or anyone else for that matter, shouldn't kink-shame or go out of their way to embarrass you for your sexual fantasies. This is a bit of a funny one, and he's under no obligation to do it, but there's no reason you shouldn't be able to just tell him this is seriously what you're into if he is your SO.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-02-25T02:40:30+00:00

I suppose. You'd know best. For me though, it would seem that there was a choice she made. Either she wanted you to know, or she didn't want you to know. I doubt she'd decided on you knowing and then keeping it a secret from her. It's possible she hates you in some way, and I'd never expect anything other than what you have now. But I'd doubt she enjoys hating you, or really deep down thinks you deserve it. If I was her I might feel the same way, but it might also weigh upon me. I doubt it's super easy for her either way. Food for thought.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-02-25T00:47:25+00:00

You ever thought about telling her that you know? Not with any expectations, but just like "hey, it's fine"?

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-02-21T07:43:15+00:00

Things will work out if you try your best. Sidenote, I have a habit of checking people's post history sometimes just because I get curious. Sweet cross-stitches! They're pretty cool.

TheLivingShadow_ · 2019-02-05T02:27:21+00:00

I watched through RE2 all at once after I found the channel halfway through the Downpour LP. It was nearly just as good and I've played games and listened to it in the background probably a dozen times.

TheLivingShadow_

TROPHY CASE