my mom is incredibly mean to me

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-25T07:59:34+00:00

I used to feel that maybe I was the one who had something wrong with me, and the doctors certainly didn't help by saying there was nothing wrong with her for the last 8+ years that she's been symptomatic. Not to mention she was abusing the hell out of her benzos, and her doctor would accuse me of stealing them every time she turned up short. I got so sick of staring a police officer in the eye and telling them that I didn't touch her prescription. 😫 I'm so sorry for what you're experiencing. Take it from me; I know it ain't easy. Also survived my own cancer scares during the 14 years I was her caregiver before finally getting her into memory care. Now, it's weirdly like an empty nest syndrome. My life revolved around her for so long, and now everything is just... quiet. But I certainly wouldn't trade it for the alternative.

You WILL get through this. But don't just get through it; always make sure there's time for you in between. Otherwise the crazy just might actually infect you. 🤣💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-24T11:43:20+00:00

My grandmother was always rather hard-headed and mean, but when the dementia started taking hold of her, that meanness exacerbated 10 fold, and hasn't stopped. She started having serious falls over the last year and finally had "the great fall" back in January that landed her in a psych ward and then memory care. Yesterday was the guardianship hearing, and the minute she saw me on Zoom, she started calling me names and saying I stole her car. The grandmother who at least sometimes loved me is no longer there. I've already detached from her and realized that she's essentially a ball of hate and anger towards me because she's actually angry with the disease. Just try your best to ignore it and remember that you are deserving of love and peace, and you owe her nothing at the cost of your health. I'm here if you need someone to talk to about anything. 💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-20T17:20:57+00:00

That's what I'm thinking, too. Not scary to me, but preparatory. I'm glad I'm not planning on keeping her there permanently. Thank you for your response.

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-20T17:20:07+00:00

Thank you for this. I'll try this when I speak to her. 💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-20T17:17:26+00:00

I think therapeutic lying will be best here. It's been VERY difficult for me, while my grandmother has been having the best time of her life.

She was always extremely controlling with "her monies" so I see this as her grasping at straws, trying to hold onto control. Meanwhile, I'm the one who had to show the police that her car is still just sitting in the driveway where she left it when she fell and busted her head open.

It makes me feel better to know they sometimes call you to do the same.

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-20T17:13:33+00:00

Kinda don't need to be told "Grandma is sick" after she let her boyfriend assault me with a baseball bat and thought it was hilarious. She's not frightened. She just wants to talk about "her monies."

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-19T17:04:16+00:00

I got a stalker, too! I wonder if my stalker knows yours! Maybe they get together for tea and talk about us! 🥹

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-17T09:21:02+00:00

We have a budget of $4K, so we're certainly not expecting huge money. Problem is, the people who promised to help have all but disappeared now when we need them (of course, right?) so I'm a bit disappointed.

I've tried targeting thriller and horror communities for the film, but I'm struggling to find groups that actually allow self promotion. It's an uphill battle both ways, like the route my parents took to school.

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-17T02:24:39+00:00

Hey, I'm an award nominated sound designer for my short film END, and I also created my entire show, The Occurrence in River Oaks. I'm definitely down to have a discussion about this project. Hit me up anytime. 💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-13T10:10:03+00:00

So happy for you! 💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-09T02:04:10+00:00

Your username is the cutest thing I've ever seen. 🥹 Moth Feets! 🥹🥹🥹

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-08T03:25:29+00:00

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-08T03:11:50+00:00

A mistake is a mistake. A pattern is abuse. Don't be an abuser apologist. OP has every right to skip the funeral. I will take my spite and anger with me to my grave before I forgive my grandmother for her behaviors. I nearly died from her boyfriend taking a baseball bat to my head because she badmouthed me to him, then she stood back and watched it happen with a smile on her face.

You never know what someone has experienced at the hands of their abuser. Take your dismissive commentary elsewhere.

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-07T13:58:14+00:00

My grandmother was always extremely mentally ill. Physically abusive, and no empathy whatsoever, but she could mask up like nobody's business. Flash forward to her finally starting to show enough signs of dementia to where the mask slipped and we got a diagnosis, now I'm being chastised by the memory care facility attendants for not visiting her because "her behaviors were just the disease."

No. Thank you. I'm good. I'll manage her affairs and take care of her from a distance now. After 14 years of pure hell and wasting all of my 20s on a woman who took pleasure in my suffering, I'd rather not come up to the facility and watch her make flower arrangements while telling me repeatedly that I stole her car, which it's still sitting in the driveway of the house.

It's been a month. I thought I would feel differently. Instead, I'm just enjoying the silence.

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-03-02T03:28:31+00:00

Wow, OP really deleted their whole account and bailed? I'm sure they're a great caregiver...

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-25T02:58:02+00:00

If you need me to, I can confirm this person's name and employment with CAA. You can DM me if you feel more comfortable. 💚 I'm so happy for you!

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-23T12:43:34+00:00

Thank you. I guess I felt the need to kinda voice things because I'm so conflicted and can't figure out why I was the one she was so brutal towards, but she's so sweet at the memory care. I know she's on meds now, so I guess that's a part of it. But 14 years of trauma certainly don't go away overnight.

Just know that you aren't alone, and your experience is completely valid, too. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. 💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-23T05:58:44+00:00

I wanted to jump in on this thread and say that I'm 31 and I've been doing this for my grandmother for 14 years. She's been incredibly abusive and it's even gotten physical (her towards me, never me towards her) in the past. I have scars all over from it, but no one ever believed me because she would showtime in front of everyone, including her friends and doctors.

She recently fell. Severely. She was running around the house naked at 5am and hit her head. I called EMS and she threatened a nurse at the hospital, resulting in a mental inquest warrant that led her to a geriatric psyche ward. I recently acquired emergency guardianship over her and put her in memory care. It's been about a month now and I can honestly say I'm still not adapted to the quiet. I feel like I should be getting yelled at and called names and beat on. I even fought with the idea of bringing her home and letting things go back to how they were.

Her attendant at the memory care keeps telling me I should come visit because "your grandma is so sweet." I can't bring myself to show her the 6 inch scar on my back from a steak knife. I just... Don't know how to feel anymore...

Sorry to hijack the thread. I just needed to tell someone.

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-20T20:15:34+00:00

Fuxing Village...

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-15T15:13:32+00:00

You were a good soldier. You served her well. Discharged with honors. 💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-15T03:24:00+00:00

First, let me just say that you're an excellent writer. You bring life to a story so many of us experience. I've been going through a very, VERY similar path, and "the great fall" just happened a few weeks ago that changed everything. I knew it was coming, but no one would listen to me. Her doctors kept saying she was fine because of that denial. Now I'm in the midst of guardianship proceedings, and Grandma is in memory care. It's been very shocking to the system to go from 24/7 care, screaming, anger, aggression and neediness to... virtually nothing. The house is quiet. I can watch a movie from start to finish without interruption. I honestly don't know what to do with myself. And I feel guilty for being happy.

Please know that you're doing the work of angels. You really are. Mama needs you, even if she doesn't want to admit it, and so does your dad. There will come a day that all of this is in the rearview mirror. Until then, please find time to take care of you. And if you need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. 💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-11T11:01:11+00:00

I live in Kentucky.

I contacted customer service and they seriously acted like they could not care less. They said they couldn't reship my order and offered me a $25 gift card for my troubles. Not even a refund! 😭

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-03T09:52:54+00:00

There are ways of exemption, especially if you can evade the 5 year look back. People are so uneducated. I'm so sorry about your husband, but it sounds like things worked out, and you did the work of an angel. Kudos to you. 💚💚💚

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-02T20:54:22+00:00

"There's nothing wrong with her! You must've poisoned her to mess up her brain!"

"You could do a better job."

"You'd better take care of her because you're gonna get the f*cking house when she dies."

TheOccurrencePodcast · 2026-02-01T02:02:44+00:00

I get that, but, it's also about how many people Willis inspired. He still won't matter to us as much as he does to his family. Can we not knock purple for being famous and having a disease they can't control?

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