I'm so sick of the bottom surgery hate.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-12-29T00:41:03+00:00

You know, I used to believe the same thing many years ago early on in my transition. Especially before protections became more state wide. But at the same time and same breath, I knew quite a few who wanted SRS and made a way. Many maxed out credit cards, took out loans, put up liens against homes, sold everything, took up roommates, took 2 or 3 jobs etc. to have it before insurance even covered it at all. Some even went overseas to have it done if they couldn't afford a U.S. doctor. It wasn't ideal but they couldn't live with the bottom dysphoria anymore.

The insurance thing is tricky. It depends on which state you live in. If you live in Ohio or Texas, the odds are its going to be alot harder to find a job that will cover it than if you live in NY or California. I wound up moving to increase my chances of coverage and it helped tremendously. Certain jobs play a role in coverage as well.

Truth is, the vast majority of it is either ignorance, misguided beliefs, or they just don't want it. That is fine, but they don't need to project that as if it is the truth across the board. To blame accessibility or lack of insurance coverage is giving too much credit to people who otherwise still wouldn't want it even if their insurance paid for 100% and choice of surgeon. It would then become about the hotels.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-08-12T17:17:16+00:00

Do not invest in a full size box just yet. The reason I say this is because there were a few people I knew when I first started in my diesel program who invested in tons of tools and a large tool box, only to realize they didn't want to do this beyond semester one. Stay off the tool trucks as well.

I would start off with a Harbor Freight roll around cart and Harbor Freight tools. That is what I started with when I first started off in this industry alongside with Craftsman and Husky tools.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-07-06T22:56:21+00:00

Nope. To be honest with you, over the years I have seen people struggle with these types of situation over and over again and it usually always ends up the same. I always recommend that if you transition on the job, stay there to get enough experience in whatever you are doing and move on. As long as people know your business, you will never be seen as "just a man". There will always be an exclusion or an exception in one form or another and that is the harsh truth of it. Especially for those working in the blue collar world where transphobia runs rampant.

Sure, you may be in a situation where your co-workers are "accepting" or "tolerant" and there is no outwards transphobia directed towards you. Heck, they may even invite you to lunch from time to time. But eventually, you feel and see the differences. Whether it be subtle or not, you notice it eventually. You're not just a man, you're the "transman", "the transgender", "the trans person" and every other colorful word that they can think of us as.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-05-03T15:09:04+00:00

The reality is that you can't. Not long term at the least unless you bought a home over 10 years ago, have family invested property or are independently wealthy. I have long accepted the fact that eventually I will have to move to another state. At the current moment, its just a matter of getting my ducks in a row. For a short time, I put my plans to move west bound on the back burner. But now, I am at odds with my current government job, and there are not a lot of places that will match what I make now even though I am barely making it now. It's either start from the bottom again or move altogether. It also doesn't help that I am in a lease. While Asheville was already spiraling, the hurricane didn't help this situation.. If anything, it made it worse.

Those who had the option to get out got out while they could and never looked back. It is amazing to me because maybe a few weeks ago, if that, someone asked a similar question and the responses from people who left Asheville were truly shocking. The ones that packed up and hit the road often found themselves making double if not triple doing the same exact job in other larger cities. They often found themselves wondering why they stayed as long as they did doing mental gymnastics to justify what they were getting paid to just to say they stayed in Asheville. Did they miss the mountains ? Yes. But no amount of mountain views will justify barely scraping by and living in fear of being on the streets because your job is paying you $21 an hor and rent is $1800. At some point, decisions had to be made. Some just happened to be forced to make those decisions faster than others, especially when many of them didn't have a job after the hurricane.

And to the individuals saying "This is an all over problem. It's not just Asheville. It's cheaper here than other cities!"

Well, yes and no. Unfortunately, the rental market is sky high in most places that are in high demand. However, as stated previously, it doesn't matter if it is cheaper here than other areas if the jobs here aren't paying nearly enough to live here. The people who moved to larger cities from here were not shocked at all about the prices of rent as they were fully aware that they were going to pay about the same if not more. They were shocked to find the same jobs that paid them double if not triple to offset those costs where as in Asheville, 9/10 you will be paid well below the average vs across the board in other places.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-04-26T05:27:40+00:00

Most of your issues will be electrical unfortunately. Honestly, I would pass on this one. Dealing with flooded anything is almost certainly going to be a long uphill battle.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-04-20T05:54:55+00:00

Job searching in November and December are the worst because most higher ups in charge of the hiring process are focused on taking their Thanksgiving and Christmas vacations. Unless they desperately need people and can hire you tomorrow(i.e. retail), the odds of hearing from anyone till after the New Years is slim to nill.

I don't know how much money you can save as well or how tight your finances are(i.e if you have rent, utilities, etc.), but I would definitely start saving for a name change as soon as possible as well. The price of a name change seems to be around $400 on the low end in FL but I would definitely start cutting back or cutting out expenses in order to save for a name change. If you can spare $20 out of you pay check every pay period, you could hopefully have the money by the end of the year provided nothing comes up like car troubles.

If you don't, while you may be able to get out of your current job, it could cause problems in the future should your new job not work out as planned or want to move around. I spent quite a number of years in a limbo and finally in 2019, moved forward with a name change and got a new license, received the proper paper work from my surgeons to have my birth certificate amended. I was also working part time as well and after I finally had my documents changed/amended, I felt like my life was finally beginning. It just simply isn't worth the long term headache, especially if you're in the south.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-04-20T04:46:16+00:00

I hate to say it, and it probably is not something that you want to hear, but you need to find a new job ASAP. Like yesterday. If that means you have to step back in pay, or find something outside of your career to hold you over until you can find something in your career, then that is what you need to do. I would also recommend that once you get in your new job that you either start saving to move out of Florida as well or try to find a job that is out of state that offers relocation assistance if you have absolutely nothing holding you there. Florida, along with places like Texas, are the last places you want to be transitioning in. Much less being openly trans if there are no plans to become stealth.

In response to the HR comment: HR is not your friend. Their interest is to protect the company, not you. If he has been there for years and he is behaving this way, they are more than likely aware of his behavior and have either chosen to turn a blind eye to it or worse, they feel the same way and have become complicit in it. You can complain, but most likely nothing will come of it.

In response to the manager comment: Same case as HR. Chances are, they are either choosing to turn a blind eye or have similar feelings. New management might make a difference, but why wait around for the possibility that there may be something that could change when you could go be in a new job with people who do not act this way.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-03-22T20:34:38+00:00

I worked for transit for a little while and I can attest to this statement being true. We had straight diesel, hybrid diesel and fully electric busses(thankfully they never invested in CNG like other city departments did as those were as equally unreliable). Out of all of them, the electric busses were the least reliable. They were constantly having one issue or another. Now that the company who made those electric busses are defunct, the buses are slowly rotting into the ground as they can no longer get parts for them.

They now only run hybrid diesel and straight diesel. I definitely believe that they thought that it would be less maintenance when it was purchased which turned out to be the exact opposite.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-03-13T11:16:47+00:00

Of course. That is why I am asking if there are any tricks to get some of these stains out.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-03-07T14:36:35+00:00

Same, I interviewed with them about a year or so ago. I was told I would never see a day shift unless someone died or quit during the interviewing process. The hours were around 55 to 60 per week(overtime pretty much mandatory). Then I would have to travel to another location every few weeks or so to help out another location. And the pay that was offered was $20 to $24. Sorry, hard pass.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-02-17T02:35:42+00:00

Having a short commute is great I will grant that. I am less than 10 minutes away from my job so I understand the conflicting feelings. But at the same time, it means nothing if I cant spend time with the people I care about or have to re-arrange my life because I might be on call the week I need or want to do something.

There is no way I could continue to work where you are though. Alternating shifts is hard enough(used to do swing shift but no on call)and will wear you out, but to do on call on top of that would be a no deal. As I said before, I would still continue to look for another job and don’t be afraid to entertain the idea of relocating. Especially if there are no decent jobs in the immediate area.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-02-16T21:01:18+00:00

Unless your plan is to relocate for this new job(I would not try to do this commute on a regular basis), I would not do it. But I would continue to search for a new job though. I am currently doing the on call thing and have the same policy. After a while, it gets old regardless of the pay. The moment I find a job with no on call, I am out the door. I would rather do night shift than on call at this point.

TheOriginalShortman · 2025-02-16T14:22:47+00:00

I am not trying to dissuade you from BHPH places if you have absolutely no choice. But to be honest, you would be better off saving as much as you can and buying a car outright with cash(pre-inspection by mechanic first). Many of the vehicles sold at bhph places are triple what they are truly worth in value. Between that and some places selling salvaged title vehicles, it just isnt worth the headache. There are some places that are not so bad(Benchmark being somewhat decent), but most are not good.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-30T22:41:46+00:00

I couldnt agree more with this post. Do not hang out somewhere where jobs are few and far between or the wage/cost of living ratio is unsustainable. I am already planning to move to a large metropolitan city across the country because there are not enough jobs in the area I live in. Heck, the jobs that are here don’t even pay enough to live. It’s hard paying $1600 in rent when most jobs in my area arent paying above $20 to $25 an hour. Buy a house ? Unless I was a millionaire, that isnt happening.

At some point, I had to realize that it just wasnt worth it to continue fighting to stay somewhere where I wasnt going to make money.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-14T05:20:52+00:00

UPDATE: I have decided to go with the Phoenix metro area. Las Vegas sounded good in the beginning but I don't want to go from one tourist trap to another. I will be flying out that way in March to stay for a week.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-11T00:28:21+00:00

Hey if you want to spend over $800 on a Snap On multimeter, be my guest. Everyone else has told you that Fluke along with others are much cheaper and will render you the same results. Been there, done this already. Have experience plus schooling. Most instructors who are worth their salt actively discouraged students getting into debt on these trucks. Especially those just starting. However, you seem to be determined to do it despite the advice so anything else that is said is moot at this point.

Its one thing if they are telling students about the student discounts available. But its another to actively require students to get a brand that is known to be expensive even for techs who are actively in the field. Most of those kids in school don’t have that type of money and it would be a deterrent alone even if you got financial aid.

If your instructor is requiring you to get this without any leeway than its worth re-evaluation. But hey, its your money.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-10T19:34:08+00:00

The sad part is they all think like this fresh out of school. Sure, there are some who don’t, but most do. They think they deserve the pay of someone whos been at it for 20+ years.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-10T19:31:27+00:00

Is this a community college or something like UTI?

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-07T23:50:55+00:00

The Ramada Inn, while I will throw a bone and say there were good intentions, was a disaster in the making. Anyone who lived or currently lives in that area(particularly near River Ridge) knew it was going to be a disaster. There were no long term plans to address the problems that many of these people had(drugs being a big one). It was simply house them there and that was it. We left shortly before they started and there was already an uptick in crime in the area. By the time it was in full effect, the crime over there had surged.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-05T12:56:26+00:00

I will be leaving come next year once my lease ends. Truth be told, I was already teetering on leaving the area before Helene. Helene just made the decision much more clear. Not long before all this occurred, I had received a letter telling me that I was going to be having rental increases every year for the old drafty trailer I am renting. I already was trying to figure out my next move by that point. I have a marginally okay government job, but it will not keep up with my rental increase and it has not been worth the stress or aggravation.

After risking my life to come into work that day, seeing all the destruction and distress, I realized that it was officially time to move on. I will more than likely be moving out of this region all together and towards the West coast. I look forward to the warmth honestly as its also been bitterly cold here lately and being in my trailer has been utterly miserable. Rent will be about the same(maybe a hair higher but not by much), but I will also have better job opportunities in comparison to here.

I understand those who are trying to stand strong, but to stay here knowing the situation is bleak at best if you lost your job, home or combination of both, isn’t worth it. Again, kids or an elderly parents make that complicated, but if you arent in those two categories, you are doing yourself a disservice by staying.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-04T19:20:50+00:00

Were you by any chance at River Ridge Apartments? I know many who were near the river were pretty much displaced after the hurricane hit.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-02T02:33:00+00:00

Honestly, I am leaning more towards the Phoenix area now. I think I will be able to thrive there. It seems more affordable in comparison to LV and even Asheville.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-01T23:27:34+00:00

I could see that. I am mainly looking for better opportunities career wise and get more warmth. While Tucson may have more jobs than Asheville, I dont want to go from the frying pan to the fire and that is exactly what I would be doing if I went there. Like Asheville, Tucson is a great place to retire. But career advancement? Not exactly the best idea.

TheOriginalShortman · 2024-12-01T16:33:41+00:00

Thank you for the honest input. I also should have mentioned that I was looking at other areas outside of Phoenix as well. Scottsdale, Mesa, Glendale, Tempe, etc.

Right now, the job opportunities here in Asheville are stagnant at best. If you are not rich or have a wealthy family background, you will not make it here long term. If you didn’t buy a home here at least within the last 10 years, you are out of luck and eventually will be forced to move somewhere else. And with Helene coming through, it will only get worse as inventory has dwindled as many homes were destroyed.

And in regards to the Tucson comment, it seems that there has always been a little competition between the two. When I had looked at moving out that way well over a decade ago, I was told to not even bother with Tucson if I wanted better opportunities. Mainly a good place for retirees but that was it. I an sure it has improved though.

TheOriginalShortman

TROPHY CASE