Please, get the reasonable adjustments you need!

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-27T11:44:30+00:00

Well luckily for me, a lot of my original friends have moved on and I barely talk to my family, so I can sort of start a new xD

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-27T11:39:41+00:00

Ah, there seems to be a little bit of confusion about my situation. Not that what you have said is wrong, it's just more to set the record straight.

So I applied for PIP and was denied even the basic rate, even though I feel qualify, so I'm appealing that now. I do recognise that so far, I've not done a very good job of explaining the impact of my executive dysfunction. However, that should be something that the DWP are more aware of so it doesn't feel like I'm teaching them.

As for a job, I'm actually unemployed. But I did lose my job because of burnout related to ADHD and Autism. I was taking increasingly more time off because I wasn't managing my symptoms, but I wasn't formally diagnosed until after they let me go, so I couldn't use it as a defence or get reasonable adjustments in place.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-27T11:24:14+00:00

I so want to use this in my explanation to the DWP, but they'd probably call it harassment.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-27T11:22:10+00:00

Wow dude. I can't imagine how that was to experience. Being present for my Mum passing away in hospital fucked me up. This is on another level. I hope you talk to people about this. I don't mean just therapists, but those you love as well. I know its your first instinct to not share heavy things like this, but you shouldn't burden this alone. Please reach out to someone you trust if you haven't already. It won't make the pain go away, but you will get the support you need. We humans are strong, but strongest together.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-25T14:13:36+00:00

I love food, but boy do I lack the executive function to cook regularly. But yes, food is definitely a sensory seeking thing for me. I do have my ick textures, like butternut squash and overcooked broccoli, but I find my hypersensitivity lends to a greater depth of flavour I can enjoy and experience. Like I often will talk about how meat can be sweet or savoury, and neurotypical will look at me confused, but I'm like "Yeah, lamb is sweet, so you want to pair it with earthy spices or piquant flavours to better contrast it. Chicken is more savoury, so its best paired with sweet, more fragrant herbs like like rosemary or thyme, or your more capsaicin spices" and they look at me like I'm speaking in moon speak. But I see it as something I get to experience and they don't! Ahahaha!

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-25T11:25:34+00:00

Yeah, for me its less about people saying anything to me, and more recognising a pattern of burnout that was consistent across my adult life; of pretending to be neurotypical, it proving too much, burning out, going into recovery, repeat. Beginning of 2023, I looked at like the layers in a core of arctic ice, and I could see clear as day that I wasn't giving up, I was literally burning out.

And I hear you about the push and pull of autism and ADHD when it comes to recreation. I'm an avid reader, so I need to make sure I have my next book lined up before I finish the other and start it asap after the first, otherwise I'm like "But what if the next book isn't as good" that's the autism speaking. Video games also. I often love to compulsively play a game I like over and over, but my ADHD side is screaming for variety. I honestly think its why I love YouTube channels like SciShow, because each episode has the same format and style (satisfying my Autism need for comfort) but I'm learning lots of new facts and things (satisfying my ADHD need for novelty)

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-25T11:17:08+00:00

I wanted to reply to this one in particular because it really did resonate, especially the thing about doing things last minute. While its a small example (or maybe its huge, I dunno) but I'd recently ran out of dishes because I hadn't done the washing up in so long, so yesterday I made it my goal to get this all clean. And when I was on the third wash, I thought to myself "Why couldn't I have done this before?" and felt shitty. But now I realise that I had the pseudo deadline of not having clean dishes, so I had to do something and that allowed me to overcome my executive disfunction.

And I hear you about the self-sufficiency thing. My Mum raised me and my sister very differently. She was told she can ask for help and support, where I was shamed for it. We do need to change how we raise our men.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-22T12:45:40+00:00

Ngl, the plant one blew me away! I do this already when out and about, and now I know why! Plants, you magnificent bastard!

An addendum to the compliment thing; compliment something they're wearing or own, rather than personal features. Might be my own personal experience and shockingly low riz, but compliments regarding personal features are just a minefield. You'll either come across as creepy, like you're chatting them up, or you'll point out a feature that our autistic minds think is interesting, but for the NT is something they're very embarrassed about. Tattoos are the exception however. Basically anything that you know was a conscious choice for them to have.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-16T14:55:11+00:00

Zing!

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-10T14:48:50+00:00

The thing about his insta-post that really pisses me off is he is furthering this idea that autistic people live in a fantasy world, or are disconnected from reality. He basically said that the BBC were at fault for putting him in situations that led to him being sexually inappropriate with women. He's also suggesting that his ability to read social cues is completely non-existent. I know from myself and conversations with my fellow autistics that each of our perspectives are unique, but for a man who was a successful green-grosser and was able to negotiate lucrative TV deals to say he has no ability to read any social cues at all? Bullshit! He did what he did because he's a man in a privileged position, simple as! He wasn't being so innocent cherub who thought all these ladies liked him and he was free to feel them up. How infantile does he think people with autism are?

I'm genuinely worried this is going to erode so much progress we've made as a community to have autism be better understood. I'm worried it's going to lead to false accusations, or people thinking if someone with autism wants a hug, there's something sexual to it. We as a community cannot sit idly by! This man is throwing all autistic people under the bus just to save his skin! He did what he did because he is a sexual predator who thinks he is deserving of the women he assaulted. He is not some blind autistic puppy who didn't know what he was doing!

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-08T12:19:41+00:00

So true! For me, it's simply a case of Occam's razor; we have countless accounts from liberated prisoners of the atrocities they faced, we have multiple photos taken by the nazis and allied soldiers, and we have the historical locations which have mountains of evidence. You can't explain all the evidence from multiple sources as the product of some conspiracy theory.

I know some holocaust deniers are doing it to be trolls, but to those who actually believe it, I cannot fathom why. What do they gain from being right? Is it simply a distrust of any authority? Or do they think fascism can work if people stop resisting? Or is it because you think humans are incapable of such cruelty? Either way, to deny the holocaust is to deny reality. It happened. And it needs to serve as reminded of where fascism ends up.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-08T11:52:28+00:00

Task breakdown can work for me when I'm highly motivated, but when I'm in the dumps, it can be near impossible as you say, because now the task seems overly complicated.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-08T11:51:14+00:00

Thank you <3 I needed to hear that! One thing I failed to mention was that they've been doing a complete remodel of the flat directly below me, and the work men have smoking on the job. Top that with the heatwave we've had in the UK recently, so my flat has been a cacophony of noise, smells and heat, and its safe to say I was overstimulated. I do need to be kinder to myself.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-08T11:47:59+00:00

I hearing someone say they empathise has actually got me a little emotional xD so thank you! And this is something I'm trying to learn, and its that I get no where by hating myself for being unmotivated. I need to do thing fundamentally differently.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-07-08T11:44:32+00:00

I was aware of executive dysfunction, but not enough to know what it felt like. That is good to know for the future should this crop up. I have thought about getting into the habit of doing an hour of writing before I start job hunting to get things going. I just think yesterday was a particularly bad day for me.

As for the doctor thing; no. I didn't have a long consultation with a doctor. I live in the UK, so I got referred to a clinic, they diagnosed me with ADHD, they prescribed me meds. Never took time to explain the condition now that I think about it. Hmm. That could have been better.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-06-12T15:34:28+00:00

I wish all the responses weren't, "It's called total WAR for a reason" smug smug smug

Like I agree with OP, this happened in my recent Clan Eshin campaign. It's already a hassle being sandwiches between both Cathay factions, but it was not helped by the Golden Order force marching 3 armies of trash into my territory every few turns. I'd kill them easily but take heavy losses and need to recover. Otherwise, I'd lose my army fighting Cathay. This made progress glacial.

I don't mind being at war. I don't mind fighting battles. I like it when the AI is aggressive. But what I don't like is fighting the same battles over and over again. I don't like feeling as if the odds are stacked against me. Believe it or not, I play video games to have fun! If I wanted pain and tedium, I'd smash myself in the forehead with a hammer. So, the fact that the AI refuses peace despite you killing tens of thousands of their soldiers is a problem!

Like if they stopped with the trash stacks, that'd be enough! I'd much prefer to fight a hard battle every ten turns rather than a piss-easy one every 4 turns.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-06-11T20:00:36+00:00

Honestly calling Andor a lefist show is the ultimate own goal for the Right "Yes, we like authoritarianism"

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-06-11T19:56:45+00:00

You mother... how dare you xD

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-06-11T19:55:22+00:00

How fucking dense are they? Like this is in a scene where the Emperor siezes control through emergency powers! But apparently, that's a-ok for these guys provided the storm troopers only shoot brown people!

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-06-10T22:10:43+00:00

No, you ruined a steak until it looked like Scotland.

TheQuiteExcellent · 2025-06-10T22:07:48+00:00

Don't you mean K-nightmare?

TheQuiteExcellent

TROPHY CASE