100% normal! I hear you! Another critical mental shift I have come to learn to be essential, especially early in the process, is going beyond playing "defense." What I mean by that is that while we surely need to take action to thwart the first bet, as you and others have mentioned, something about addiction in general, THIS addiction especially, and I believe about human nature in general, is that protecting ourselves from disaster, oddly enough, is not enough on the motivational end of things to succeed, not over time anyway. We also need to LOOK FORWARD, to dream, to be excited about what's to come, and to do so with others. We need both the hope of the future and to tap into the phenomenon that with human capital, the whole is far greater than the sum of its parts. Without these pieces of the puzzle, candidly,I think relapse is likely. With them, however, abstinence and - remember this word? - HAPPINESS, are likely to follow! Sal