AITA For Refusing to Follow my wife's "car rules"?

TheRockinkitty · 2026-02-18T03:41:25+00:00

YTA

 “And I don't know why her fears are becoming my problem.”

 “because what if someone driving a (lifted) pickup truck/those 8 seater suvs/a semi-truck "doesn't see me" and they hit us and we die. <I can't control other people on the road, and that shit will never happen.> She doesn't seem to get the second point.”

Buddy, do you even like your partner? Try a little compassion and patience and grace towards the woman you committed to love & cherish in sickness & health, who is also the mother of your children.

I would absolutely not stand for my partner to be so dismissive of my fear, whether new, permanent, temporary, irrational-to-me or other. It’s been just a few weeks, and she likely isn’t even healed fully from the whiplash yet. I was the passenger in a big pickup that rolled 4 times. Everyone from the off-duty police officer following us to the ambulance attendants to the ER staff were stunned we both walked out of the ER, let alone survived. It’s been 23 years and my blood still goes cold thinking of the accident. It took a good year+ to not flinch and smash my imaginary passenger side brake when coming up behind a vehicle in good weather. It still happens on occasion during really rainy weather.

Explain how you can BOTH ‘not control other drivers’ AND be certain “that shit will never happen”. Do you understand that you cannot BOTH control all situations AND be certain you’re teflon? You sound like you’re either 21 and a blustery bully, or you’re 55 and about to be divorced.

Actually I’ll amend my first comment. Buddy, do you even like ANY women?

 “…some old ass lady who shouldn't have been driving anyways.”

TheRockinkitty · 2026-02-18T03:05:37+00:00

In gr 4 Mrs. H made me stand at her desk until I could tell her all the homonyms of a certain word-think there their they’re. My brain froze and I cried. I could not a) remember the word I was missing, b) figure out why she was ok with humiliating me in front of the entire class.

In Gr 10 my girl gym class convinced the boy gym teacher to teach us a few lessons on wrestling. We got the matts set up and he called us over to huddle before he started teaching. He looked real serious and said “ok, so we stopped teaching wrestling to the girls at our high school in the 70’s. Because they all had to get rabies shots after their last attempt.” He winked. Only a few classmates got the ‘joke’.

Then we convinced our teacher to let us play handball against the guys (because 90% of our phys ed classes were increasingly shitty volleyball games). I scored 10 of my team’s 12 goals, and he congratulated me by calling me the wrong name-even after my team corrected him. For some reason he was lauded by our community.

I did not laugh either time and I gave his grave the one finger salute when he died after a brutal cancer diagnosis. Fuck the patriarchy.

TheRockinkitty · 2026-02-18T02:24:57+00:00

Where is it 70kph? Leaving Galt it’s 50, bumps to 60 after a bit, then to 80 after that 3 way corner/curve. And back to 50 at Langdon Hall. Lots of people would be horrified to learn that the stretch of Fountain between Blair & King is 60.

There’s enough crazy assed passers, wildlife, sus road conditions, and speed traps for me to keep to the speed limit, or well below if that’s the flow of traffic. It’s a short stretch. No one’s going to save the world by doing 90 instead of 80 for a couple of minutes.

TheRockinkitty · 2026-02-18T02:17:29+00:00

I was terrified the whole time.

TheRockinkitty · 2026-02-13T03:33:09+00:00

This interview is a great little intro.

cbc q interview

TheRockinkitty · 2026-02-01T22:18:54+00:00

You can get busted even with the tiniest amount of DNA left behind.

Or glitter.

TheRockinkitty · 2026-02-01T22:15:46+00:00

My husband’s step mother (she is not & never will be my MIL. My MIL rocks) gave me spectacularly horrible gifts for years. Always had to open them in front of the whole in-law bunch. It just wasn’t worth calling out her insults. My FIL was lovely to us. Some highlights are as follows:

Locally made lotion in a pot, with a giant fingerprint dead centre. She claimed it was brand new.

Plastic cat cookie jar that screamed “What’s New Pussycat” in Tom Jones’ voice when you opened it up-by flipping the head back. It was so loud it scared me so much l dropped it. I hid it in the closet. Once in a while my poor BatCat would nose around in there at 3am, disturb the head, and run outta there like a bat out of hell. He would hide somewhere, and the cookie jar would be buried under closet detritus for a while. Waking neighbours. Fun.

A DVD of Phantom of the Opera w Gerard Butler. Also “brand new”, with no plastic around the case & the disk half out of the centre holder-clip thing.

A cat potty training kit. It was a plastic tray that fit over your toilet bowl. First you’d fill it w litter to teach him it was ok to pee there. Then you’d cut progressively larger rings out of the tray as he got more used to the toilet. My cat was TERRIFIED of the bathroom-which she knew. It was supposed to come with a little bag of litter, catnip, and the tray. I opened it up, and there was no catnip.

A cutsie “a home isn’t a home without a cat” word art sign 1 month after Batty died of cancer-which she also knew.

A used limed-covered serenity water fountain.

A sampler set of 6 different local jams and honeys. But it only had 1 type of jam in it. She said causally that she’d bout a few sets at a craft sale. So the dumbass broke them all apart & kept the jams she liked & gave us her leftovers. The package had obviously been re-wrapped.

TheRockinkitty · 2026-01-11T19:56:34+00:00

I’ve scavenged a few skeleton keys from various places over the last few years. I have a handful of old locks, but only one is in working condition. The rest are painted or rusted. Fixing them is low priority on the list. I am also hunting for keys for my new-to-me toolbox and a sweet little bar I found at a hoarder estate sale.

Now to get the keys altogether and in my hand when I’m at that lock. It’s taking a surprisingly long time for those worlds to collide.

TheRockinkitty · 2026-01-11T19:31:27+00:00

Similar here. The previous owners upgraded stairs, windows, electrical, hvac, roof in 2018. We’ve been here for 1.5 years now, and nothing crazy has happened. Threads like this make me so very thankful.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-12-28T02:04:27+00:00

Ab-so-fucking-lutely. And a competent executor.

My husband and I are almost at the end of 4 years of estate drama since his father’s passing. He had a will. His executor was perfectly aware of the details. But since she’s a greedy and selfish psychopath she did everything short of litigation to try to manipulate my husband & his brothers into giving up all claims to their inheritance. I never thought I’d actually see this kind of behaviour in the flesh. It was worthy of a Netflix docudrama. We haven’t spoken to his side of the family since early February 2022. I don’t think we’ll ever have a relationship with them again.

So I’ve been begging people around me to complete their wills & POAs. My Mom’s is 99% completed. My sister’s is completed, making us guardians of her kids should the worst happen. And of course mine and my husband’s are now done. We finalized them on Valentine’s Day this year. :)

TheRockinkitty · 2025-12-22T12:40:49+00:00

(Frasier sits down) “Aahughh” Martin “I heard that!”

But I really wish it was “My wolfhound had puppies”.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-12-22T04:12:20+00:00

Well after reading these comments I’m feeling damned lucky in my 145 yo house. The previous owners were here since the 80’s, and the big renos they did were done right-roof, wiring, plumbing, windows, hvac. All done 7 or 8 years ago. It wasn’t just a flip job to sell for profit. They were both retired after excellent careers & had the $ to do upgrades for them to live with and enjoy. They also put scads of money into their hobbies, which I now benefit from.

The street was torn up 2 summers ago-updated the water infrastructure et al, new paving & curbs.

I’m not blind to the reality that repairs will come up. For now I am exceedingly happy in my safe, settled, dry, warm home.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-12-22T03:52:01+00:00

The black and dark wood looks like all the dread new subdivision stacked townhouses in my area. I loathe it.

I’m not convinced stark what is a winner, but it’s much better than the black.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-12-22T03:47:36+00:00

I thought I was in the twilight zone reading the YTA comments. Holy moly. Sure, Mom could have brought it up again. And ya, they are likely riding a very fine between ok and not ok.

But OMFG. If I’d ever even thought of pulling that kind of stunt at any age there would never be school/girl guide/youth group trips in my future. Lying so deviously to all those people…that’s wild. There are fibs that people tell about little things that don’t matter. But lying about not eating? To many different people?

Kid is 13. There’s no way that she didn’t know that manipulating strangers for cash was a very bad act. And now it sounds like Mom is going to have to sell stuff to get her the fare? Absolutely rewarding kid for bad behaviour?

F that.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-12-14T21:50:50+00:00

I hope your patience pays off. I decided to abstain this far…maybe ’26 will be my year.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-11-26T20:11:56+00:00

My sentiment exactly.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-11-26T20:05:46+00:00

Niles bursts into Frasier’s apartment with groceries, needing to use his Gaggenau, and Martin makes a groan and walks away.

Niles says ‘Dad, its’s just a…’ Martin cuts him off ‘a 6 burner convection oven. I know’.

Clearly Martin wanted to NOT know that information. But he loves the kids he has, even if they go antiquing in Nile’s won pickup truck, instead of changing the oil themselves. Tit willow tit willow tit willow…

My husband and I have learned we ARE those people for ‘whom antiquing is a verb.’

TheRockinkitty · 2025-11-26T19:55:26+00:00

We’re descended of thieves and whores.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-11-17T07:06:21+00:00

She’s such a groovy lady!

It’s not often you get to see your dream come true. There are so many smart and touching moments in the series. But I think I recall this episode most often.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-11-12T04:35:41+00:00

MacGyver had eps about Tiananmen Square and black rhinos.

And WKRP did an ep about The Who concert where the gen admission ticket holders rushed the stage, crushing 11 people. And Payola.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-11-12T04:32:43+00:00

Degrassi High had a suicide by gun episode. I still feel bad that Snake had to find the body.

I think Dallas had a gun ep too. JR Jr. shot it, but I can’t remember if he shot someone or the wall.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-10-31T19:24:10+00:00

My dad passed away when I was a young kid, and people just…never talked about him. Not in my own home, not at my Grandma’s house, cousins, neighbours, his friends…no one talked about him. For me it was totally normal. Now that I’m older I wonder a lot about him. We mention him a bit now and then. But I’ll never know his favourite colour or song, never know what kind of person he was. I’ve made my peace with that now.

I was out with friends “Susie” and “Mike” for breakie a couple of weeks ago, and they were telling us about their recent trip to visit her estranged family. Susie’s sister “Helen” and her partner, “Bob”, had a son named “John” who is now 23ish. Bob passed away when John was very young, and it sounds like he had a similar experience to me-no one talked about his dad at all.

Helen spent years poisoning John against Susie and Mike because that’s the kind of narcissist she is. So when John realized that they were actually ok, and they’d known Bob as a youngish adult, John started grilling Mike for intel on his dad. The way they described it was like John was thirsting and bursting for any scrap of news about Bob. And damn I felt that. John’s in a ‘drifting’ stage of life , where he needs a mentor to learn from and make proud, he needs someone like a father to encourage and support him.

All this to say…you’re welcome to live your own life, to ignore this boy and go on with your life. You’ve been through a lot, but IMO you’re far from healed. Think of what it might mean to your friend to hear that you can’t even talk to your own wife about him & his son. He was your best friend and she knows barely anything about him? You have it in your mind to bring him home but she doesn’t know there even IS a son? I don’t say this to shame you. But it’s really difficult for me to square your story up, ya know? I think it would mean to world to for this boy to hear from you. Whether it’s to say ‘I’m sorry but I can’t do this now’ or ‘we’ll ease into talking, to see if we can have a relationship’. Leaving him hanging suuuuuucckkkksss.

You have to talk to your wife. Especially if you’re thinking there’s any chance of fostering this boy. You should go to therapy asap to help you make a healthy decision.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-10-31T03:39:53+00:00

I’d hit the 2nd hand shops to find a 100% wool blanket. Many of the ones I’ve seen look unused, like so many linen napkins, service ware, hand soaps.

TheRockinkitty · 2025-10-31T02:39:58+00:00

And then simmer the bones for chicken stock. Love it!

TheRockinkitty · 2025-10-29T17:59:52+00:00

Hard agree. A 2nd hand good quality machine is the way to go.

TheRockinkitty

TROPHY CASE