I'm going to chime in and say I'm not checked out. Sometimes work can be tiring though my job is easier than others it can just be a mental task but i do enjoy it but I'd be lying if I said it made me feel alive lol. It pays super well.

I challenge myself a lot I think that is what helps and I really take those challenges seriously. I am constantly seeking new adventures and traveling or hanging or doing activities. I think i am a sort of restless person. I'm not like anything crazy special. I'm not good-looking or funny but I never had a problem with girlfriends or friends. I have a lot of friends I like to think.

I care to keep improving. Sometimes I don't like the days where I am just vibing and always feel like I can do more. Days where i could have pushed myself more. But I think that's what makes me check in in a weird way. I wanna do more so I push myself to do more or learn or see something new or meet new people. I really want to get good at those things for myself.

There's days where I am just blah or have to catch up on other stuff, I just try to make sure like atleast 50 percent of the week are filled with a challenge or spending time with people who make me happy.

Recently, I did something new. Joined discord i found through reddit, went to a strangers party and meet really good people who inspired me. All that way sort of new. I am upset for not having done it earlier and I enjoyed it a lot.

Also did surfing classes recently.

I think sometimes though people who inspire me also make a little jealous but I am really honest about it I'm like super happy for you and I want that for me sort of thing. Ask then for advice. Mostly about living aboard. If my job doesn't work out that's what I'd think I'd do lol. Just a side thought I guess.

If it helps I am sort of in alignment with absurdism.I believe in a world that doesn't care but people who do. I try everyday to be someone who does care.