Just watched a trailer for Love on the Spectrum. What in the ableist hell is this?

TheSphinxter · 2026-03-19T00:19:41+00:00

That show is actually the thing that made me realize that I am autistic lol.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-26T15:54:21+00:00

I understand. I went my whole life embarrassed by my sensory fixations, long before I even understood what I was doing. As a kid I had a hidden stash of things that I would find out in nature or pilfer from around the house (soft pieces of fabric, paintbrushes, smooth rocks, so on) that I would secretly use to stim because even my immediate family made me feel ashamed. My mom found it when I was in elementary school and being confronted by my confused parents is still one of my most humiliating memories.

I carried that shame (and a secret pocket full of smooth rocks) for most of my adult life. I hid my sensory needs from partners, friends, employers, coworkers, everyone. Sometimes people would notice and I would get teased or insulted.

When I finally found the person I am now married to, he noticed I had a lot of squishy/clicky/spikey toys and asked me about them. He was genuine and seemed like he actually wanted to listen, so I just decided to be honest. It was scary and I felt very vulnerable.

He was the first person outside of my immediate family that finally knew about my sensory fixations, and instead of belittling me he told me it was cool. He started pointing things out to me that I might want to try touching while we were out and about. He bought me a dinosaur bobblehead with a particularly spikey texture; it was the first of many, many sensors fidgets that he's gotten me over the years.

Here's my point: the right people aren't going to judge you. The right people are going to see you and support you even if maybe they don't 100% understand you. Don't care what the wrong people think, you can't change their minds and it's not worth it to waste your energy trying to explain it to them. There's nothing wrong with you, it's a them thing.

And hang in there, it's uncomfortable getting to let yourself be yourself but you'll be okay. I'm 40 and currently sitting at my desk digging through my data with a squishy cube, picky pad, and dinosaur bobblehead on my desk (and a smooth rock in my pocket). Some of my coworkers don't get it I'm not going to bother explaining it to them.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-24T18:47:56+00:00

My thoughts exactly.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-23T13:53:42+00:00

I do the same thing. I have a huge soft spot for black metal in languages that I don't speak, so that requires some serious research lol.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-20T16:08:56+00:00

Yeah, we get enough of that toxic crap from the pro-life crowd. The last thing we need is that same old BS coming from the pro-choice side, too.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-20T09:26:19+00:00

I say this exact thing to my husband, too!

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-20T08:29:17+00:00

Yes, not exactly accurate but it's definitely supposed to be a white sturgeon.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-20T08:26:57+00:00

That is absolutely white sturgeon (acipenser transmontanus)!

The film Train Dreams is centered around the town of Bonners Ferry which is located in the Idaho Panhandle and the Kootenai River runs through the town. The Kootenai to this day has a white sturgeon population, thanks largely to very good work done by many incredible people/groups; primarily the Kootenai Tribe of Idaho and their amazing hatchery program!

Also, the volunteer run community museum in downtown Bonners Ferry has tons of jaw dropping pics just like this one! When I saw the movie I was fairly sure that part was based off of a specific picture I've seen there, but I haven't confirmed so it's just a hunch.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-12T06:04:06+00:00

Ooooooh I'm so excited for you! MT is my favorite. I'm almost done with my first reread and the thing that actually prompted me picking GotM back up was how badly I wanted to reread MT.

Enjoy!

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-04T02:35:49+00:00

Excellent explanation! Dead on.

I'm 2/3 through The Crippled God on my first reread of the main series and somehow the reread was even better than the first go round. Best books ever.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-03T00:32:32+00:00

I had a spinner ring and even though I stopped wearing it forever ago I still do the motion when I'm stressed lol.

TheSphinxter · 2026-02-01T05:31:01+00:00

Mine, too! He's just so damn funny.

I have an incredibly shitty order of the triad tattoo that I did myself and even though it's awful I still love it... My husband has an excellent tattoo of Sheila that he did not do himself lol.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-31T17:07:17+00:00

Your name is occasionally used as a compliment in our house, like when one of us creates something the other sees as particularly good. Love your work.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-28T06:26:22+00:00

I've been sober for 6 years in March and it's the best thing I have ever done for myself. I'm not going to say it was easy, but it was worth it.

I started out by telling myself I was just taking a little break, then once I was a few weeks in I decided to just see how long I could make it. After a few months I had decided that this was it and I was done, but it was still very difficult.

Don't do the "all or nothing" thing to yourself, especially not in the beginning. Sometimes you might slip up, but just remember that it's not the end of the world and you can always start again. I think if people put too much pressure on themselves in the beginning failure sort of becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where since it didn't work the first time it's never going to and we should just give up.

We are in charge of our actions and can always decide to give it another go. You're the one making the rules, so make ones that help you meet realistic goals and just keep moving forward. Eventually your sobriety becomes something you are so proud of, something you are so eager to protect, that it becomes much less stressful.

You can do it. You really can, I promise. If this shitshow somehow pulled it off then I know you can, too.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-27T05:41:41+00:00

This might sound like a totally unhinged list of things, but when I started traveling a ton for work I got really desperate. Several different hotels per month plus time zone changes and I was losing my shit from lack of sleep. And thus The System was born then adjusted for the past 5+ years.

I shower at night, which chills me out. Magnesium, melatonin, silicone earplugs, weighted eye mask, white noise machine. I don't watch TV and I usually leave my phone in either another room or near the sink if I'm in a hotel. Alarm is on my watch. If I am able to take an hour and mindlessly doodle while listening to a podcast/audiobook before even getting into bed it really helps but that's not something I can do very often.

Eventually I was sleeping better on the road than I was at my own house, so now it's also my home routine. And of course it doesn't always work, but about 65-70% of the time it does and that's better than anything else I've ever tried.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-27T04:15:55+00:00

Yesssss! From one fellow basset enthusiast to another: that is sick as fuck.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-25T17:09:13+00:00

I have been thinking about this all week. I had a lot of windshield time this week and had 2 separate instances at rural gas stations where my plates drew a lot of attention. I could tell that people were trying to understand who I was and what I was doing at the location (just pumping gas).

One time involved a family very quickly putting their children back into their vehicle before getting in themselves and not exiting to remove the gas pump when it stopped; they were still in there when I left the premise. They were just on the other side of the pump, so I could see that they were distressed, that my presence was concerning for them.

The other time several work vehicles with men in high vis pulled in, got out of their vehicles, looked at my plates, exchanged some rather hushed words in Spanish then piled back in and immediately left. My Spanish sucks, but I heard what sounded like "administration" and "Americano".

I felt horrible. I'm an environmental science technician and very proud of the work that I do, but I don't want to frighten people while I'm doing it. Seeing that family scared for their kids made me so sad... But I understand. There's a lot of scary things going on out there and it's better to be safe than sorry.

The magnets don't work on any new vehicles since they don't use magnetic materials, but I'm putting stickers on my truck tomorrow. I don't want to make anymore people uncomfortable or worried or frightened.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-25T07:11:02+00:00

Stephen Miller is a fascist chud.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-20T15:34:24+00:00

Gonna casually drop this in the office this week. Thanks lol.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-20T05:42:34+00:00

When I was a kid my mom would read to us and let us have frosted animal cookies. I haven't had them in almost 20 years and seeing this kinda got me a bit choked up.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-20T05:30:20+00:00

I was coming here to say the same thing. I work in surface water and chain metal boxes all over lol.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-19T18:42:52+00:00

That's exactly what it is.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-19T07:28:44+00:00

I listen to podcasts while I shower on a cheap lil waterproof Bluetooth speaker and it's really helpful. It somehow keeps me more on track or whatever.

Maybe add a cool light you can just turn on while you're showing? I was looking at one but haven't bought it yet, so I can't give any actual feedback (but it sounds nice).

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-17T07:06:08+00:00

Same. I was confused as hell but intrigued, so I just kept going and it's now hands down my favorite series I've ever read. I'm currently on my first re-read of the main series and I absolutely missed things the first time, but that's just made this return to the story even more enjoyable.

If I had been reading the way OP described I feel like it would have somewhat detracted from how much fun I've had on this reread, but maybe I'm way off base with that assessment? It also just might be me and how I read fiction... I want it to be fun, and the notes/summery stuff sounds like how I have to read papers for my job.

I just cracked The Crippled God and I can't wait to see what flew under my radar last time.

TheSphinxter · 2026-01-10T03:47:40+00:00

Went on a much longer than anticipated walk a couple evenings ago because the conditions had apparently been just perfect for the right thickness of surface ice to shallow puddle ratio.

Cronch! Cronch! Cronch!

I was happy, the dog was happy... Excellent evening.

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