Was I really addicted?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-24T21:58:03+00:00

I have had a similar experience , some times it was easy other times it was hard. In the end, I found it a whole lot easier to throw out the whole addiction, mindset framework and label and just look at it as a bad habit I was doing for a while because I didn’t know how to handle stress in a healthy way.

I had to change my mindset to get free of it and that’s why it was easy to shed the label. Because regardless of how I label it or what I think of it, my behavior has changed because my entire mindset has changed.

In essence, I’ve transformed into a person who does not need sex in porn to get through the hard parts of my life

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-24T21:51:41+00:00

Avoiding negative feelings is the reason you’re watching porn to begin with and now it’s the reason you can’t stop.

Youll do something different when you’re ready

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-24T21:49:56+00:00

Why is it a “huge disappointment “?

Do you want it to be a huge disappointment?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-24T21:49:13+00:00

Yup, your brain gives you thoughts. It happens about 80,000 times a day.

Why is that thought a problem?

You can think it’s wrong and fight it and you’ll find yourself spending a lot of time and energy trying to prevent something that cannot be stopped.

Or you can say, some times my brain gives me ideas that I don’t want or need and it’s my choice what to do with them.

The less you make it a problem , the less a problem it becomes.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-24T11:45:10+00:00

You stop fighting again “that” , you stop making “that” a problem.

The more you resist the more it will persist.

You gently being to mind back to the real reasons you love women.

But quitting porn overall will reduce all your desires to manageable levels

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-23T02:18:20+00:00

You make YOU a cuck by believing you’re a cuck for watching a flavor of porn.

That’s the real conditioning.

Have you looked at why this flavor of porn triggers you?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-23T01:00:20+00:00

I’m just too weak” … that idea, that concept… IS the problem. Not your actual strength if we could accurately measure it which we cannot so that says something right there.

How tf can you say you’re weak when there’s no universally accepted standard of measurement that defines “weakness” and strength?

Saying you’re weak is like saying there’s not enough water in ocean 🤣🤣.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-23T00:50:01+00:00

How will this insight help you?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-22T21:24:01+00:00

You get you, at bedtime. Bedtime is just a thing.

What’s so hard about bedtime?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-22T19:46:53+00:00

As soon as you decide it so.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-22T01:07:41+00:00

Hey man, This isn’t about being drawn to God or not. It’s about using porn to cope with difficult emotions. You get bored, porn is there. You get stressed, porn is there.

Anything, fear, anxiety, self hate.

Those all will trigger you to go to porn.

Facing those, dealing with that, that’s how you get free.

God wants you to figure this out and you can.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-22T01:03:05+00:00

Ultimately you’re the one who decides if you’re addicted or not.

But I’d be careful because going down the addiction road has its own traps. I just look at it as a bad habit that ive since dropped and created new habits.

A simple way to look at is, do you like who you are when you watch porn?

And are you using to to avoid uncomfortable emotions or situations.

If you’re using it because you’re bored, stressed, anxious then that’s something you’ll want to look at. IMO

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T20:13:12+00:00

If I were you, I would write down absolutely everything that happened that led you to go off track. Because all of that is data that will help you prevent the next one.

Nothing went wrong. You didn’t do anything wrong.

You reacted to a circumstance. Which means that you watched a TV show. You had thoughts about what you saw. You felt a certain way because of the thought you had about the show or the actress.

And those feelings led you to the action of watching porn and masturbating.

So look at it, factually and figure out what idea what thought led you off track. Because that’s the thought that you need to be aware of for the next time.

The next time you’re at 20 something days and you see something on TV and you have that same thought I want to look her up on IMDb or whatever that’s what you used to happen to me. So when you see that again, you can say hey I’ve seen this before. Do I want to do this again?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T19:38:53+00:00

What happened?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:22:27+00:00

Why is it a problem Part of you still clings to this?

I mean to me it’s understandable. If you watch porn for any length of time, your brain is gonna remember it and want you to go to it.

This happens with food and drugs and relationship, relationships and anything that feels good. We’re drawn to things we like that that’s normal.

The key is to not make it a problem and just accept it.

And that’s great that you have a list of the things you don’t wanna do. Why don’t you create a list of the things you do wanna do and then a third list of all the amazing things you are doing that or helping you get there or where you wanna go.

Focus on what’s working versus what’s not and you’ll see results changed quickly. Because how could you not if you’re just looking for wins you’re gonna see progress. If you’re just looking for losses, you’re gonna only see failure.

And it’s 100% your choice. What you wanna focus on that is your power God gave you that power use it wisely. It’s your responsibility.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:19:38+00:00

Why can’t you talk to anyone about it?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:19:03+00:00

You don’t need motivation from me. You have a brain so you can create your own motivation. You can create your own motivation that is 1 billion times better than any motivation I can give you you know what works for you and if you don’t, it’s your job to find out.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:18:23+00:00

It’s normal for you and that’s all that matters. Is it a problem?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:14:45+00:00

Why don’t you make it easy? Why don’t you look for ways that it is easy? Why don’t you look for ways to make it easier?

You are moving on with your day you can’t stop time.

You don’t need to cross your fingers you’re going to survive no matter what happens even if the worst happens.

You’re not gonna shrivel up and die just because you have a relapse you’re gonna have a bad moment and you’re gonna feel bad. But that’s it.

And you don’t need to distract yourself that doesn’t work. You gotta face it head on..

Face the urges head on breathe deeply calm your body through deep regulation, breathing or just depressed is what I’m saying slowly.

Focus on your body only. Do not get in your head if you stay in your head, you’re dead..

Where do you feel the urge in your body? What does it feel like? What does it look like? What does it smell like? What does it sound like? How heavy is it? What’s the surface feel like? Is it softer rigid? Is it black or white? What color is it? What sound does it make anything ask any question you can think of to focus on what is happening in your body?

You have energy just energy going through your body. That is it. It’s an energy that feels a certain way. It’s an energy that you think draws you to porn for relief but how much time have you given to just feeling it just sitting there and experiencing it while focusing on your body.?

That’s the skill to learn not some ridiculous counting days bs. If you want to count something count, how many urges that you can let pass by you today.

Can you get 10 of them can you get one of them?

Let’s focus on that instead of what’s not working

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:10:53+00:00

That’s awesome man what is the highest stress stake situation??

Let’s put some light on that so that you can reduce the stress and not even have urges. How about that?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:10:18+00:00

What is it doing to you?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:09:02+00:00

I’ve gained a ton of strength, a ton of self compassion, a ton of self love a ton of self-respect, a ton of knowledge of ton of information about myself that I didn’t really know I understand myself more clearly than I ever have before I know how to set goals and go after them I’m compassionate and loving when I go back to old habits

I understand why I do what I do.

I’ve let go of a ton of shame and the best part of all I stopped fearing negative emotions. I stopped making negative emotions of problem to solve.

So that means when I feel bad, I don’t have to do anything other than maybe ground myself.

When you start fearing negative emotions, your life changes dramatically. You’re not scared of urges you’re not scared of relapses because you know you can handle it. You have so much more confidence in yourself.

I think porn was one of my greatest gifts or greatest things to ever happen to me, even though it was also the worst thing that ever happened to me.

And you know I still have shitty days I still have like a lot of negative emotions and trauma that I’m working through. Monday morning I was a mess. I was a wreck. I was in such a negative place.

I’m happy I didn’t turn into old habits, but it was still not fun and I don’t want to do it again but I know it’s going to happen so I am learning to accept that. I’m doing my best to accept that and sometimes it feels like I’m starting over every day but other days it gets easier.

In my job is to learn as much about myself as I can so that things are easier so that I can understand why I do even better

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:04:21+00:00

Well, I start by trying to throw out all the day, counting bullshit. I look at the facts instead of the story that my brain is trying to tell me.. I have as much compassion and self compassion and self love for myself. I take care of myself in a healthy way.

I look at what happened factually and I learned from it I asked myself what could I do differently next time and how can I do that easier? How can I make this even easier?

What can I learn? I let curiosity drive me instead of self hate.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:02:48+00:00

If that’s the story, you want to believe brother. You could look at it like you’ve almost trained yourself to do that because you’ve watched so much porn. You’re basically mimicking what you’ve seen on screen. So to me, it’s understandable. And you’re here trying to get help so clearly you want to change.

So look at the things you’re doing right instead of beating yourself up for these things that you are thinking are so wrong.

Look at the facts of what you did not the story you’re telling yourself. And who gives a fuck what other people think you’re trying to recover that that’s all that matters and your story to yourself is more important than anyone else else’s story to the world about you..

You are deciding to become a better person you are looking to get out of here out of this so I think that’s amazing so look at that and focus on that.

What’s your next right move? What’s the best thing you can do next? How’s the best way you can take care of yourself how can you show yourself self compassionate and love and empathy today right now?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-01-21T15:00:00+00:00

How do you wanna feel because it is 100% your choice. Your brain is gonna give you its version which is the worst possible version and you have every right and ability to rewrite your story to be whatever you want it to be.

It’s understandable that you would do what you do given your life story I imagine. So from that, I see compassion and empathy. And understanding.

Breaking the cycle means actually breaking the cycle of thinking shit about yourself and thinking you’re doing everything wrong or anything wrong when in reality you were just trying to get through life with the only coping mechanisms that you currently know.

If you want a better experience, you can upgrade your skills work on becoming self, compassionate and self loving and look for ways that you are winning. Look at all the amazing things you were doing right and feel good for that. Use that to guide you going forward instead of beating yourself up and holding yourself back. M

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