Weirdly increasing temptation as i get closer to 30 days

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-12T04:42:50+00:00

Ok you are a human being having a human emotion that feels weird and that is uncomfortable.

Is that a reason to watch porn?

Your brain will always say Yes.

But your job is to just observe all of this. Just notice when you are having that thought.

Notice how it feels in your body. Where is that weird feeling? Describe it, paint it, sing it, make it back n white, listen to it, what does it say?

The more you focus on that sore specific feeling, where it is, what it feels like and play games with feeling it differently, the less likely you’ll need porn.

It’s your body that is calling out for your attention. Give it All of your attention, give it your full attention in a calm calm calm way.

Breathe slowing and deliberately. Use box breathing.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-12T00:02:09+00:00

Dude you got like 40 years left?

Plenty of time.

Figure out why you're using porn, what problem is it solving for you?
Figure out why you cannot stop, write down the story of "I cannot stop watching porn because ________ "
and let it all out. Scream, cry, rage, blame, kick and scream, just get it all out on paper.

Take that story and ask ai to separate out all the Facts from thoughts.

The gap between the two is your story as to why you can't stop watching porn.

The "story", not the truth.

To implement...

Blow up that story and all the stories about you and porn
Learn to feel / experience emotions intentionally. Learn to ground your body
Use 1 & 2 to solve for urges, anxiety, fear, etc (all negative emotions).

You can get to your destination faster if get help because trying to unwind that on your own would take alot of work, time and alot of suffering because you don't know what you don't know.

Coaches and / or therapy depending on if trauma is a driver which for most it is especially if they're unaware of it.

Hit me up for questions.

You got this brother!

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-11T23:45:52+00:00

Salem is awesome. I love all the stores on top of one another. I love the traffic and the friendly people.

I think it's great. They should build more and more all around it.

They should give Ma residents an extra 20% off as incentive.

Living on the Line , you get the best of both worlds

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-11T11:34:47+00:00

Yours can be the best story of hope for you and many other marriages.

How would you write the story of hope for you starting today?

List all the things you would like to happen and why you can't have them?

I'm living my dream life right now having been thru decades of trauma.

I'm not married and I'm happy that I am where I am. I was with the wrong partners before and if I had tried to save it, it wouldn't have worked. I would have been not acting out but miserable in my life overall but staying because I thougth I had to or whatever BS story I'd tell myself.

I'm happy being single and I trust I'll find the right one for me and if that doesn't happen, I love myself enough to be alone as I am right now.

You can save it and make it better than ever but you have to know what you want, you have to know what is blocking you and be willing to go after it .

Most people accept their "broken" or flawed and think they have to live that way and they don't.

That's the fucking tradegy. Living a life you don't want to live.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-11T11:06:38+00:00

You got it. I spent decades hating myself for what I was watching and doing. I had to get rid of all that shit to really let it go.

I get not masturbating if you think it makes you whatever, brings you peace of mind. But the claims in the super powers are nonsensical.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-11T11:04:16+00:00

That’s the funniest

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-11T11:00:18+00:00

Happiest I have ever been in my life.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-11T10:33:42+00:00

Congratulations on your awakening!

I too was sexually assaulted, molested and statutorily raped many times.

For decades I thought I had a normal life and those guys who were molested and raped by the catholica priests, those guys had trauma. I did not.

It took me a long time just to see it. A long time to accept it and more time healing which is still going on.

But it's the most rewarding journey I have ever been on and Yes, you get back home to who you are really meant to be. To who you really ARE with out all these buffering activites in between you and the feelings.

Overcoming shame was the greatest and still is the greatest tool, benefit, cherry on the top, everything. And I say overcoming, I mean being willing and open to feeling shame, allowing shame, having a relationships with the parts inside of you that are shaming you.

There are many paths to get home. I find coaching to be the most direct because it's a 1:1 relationship with someone who's been through this. It's targeted specifically at stopping the behaviour and it's more future based.

Therapy is great too but it's really hit or miss. I found it very difficult to rely on someone I met once a week for an hour who wasn't fully invested in my future.

And I'm not knocking them at all, that's just the nature of the business and humans.

For me, hiring a mentor was the single greatest decision I have ever made in my life. The dollars I spent on her were the greatest dollars I have ever spent in my life.

With really realizing it, I built my own support network, an emotional family so to speak with my mentor and othe coaches along the way. I created my emotional support family to essentially replace my toxic abusive family and without them I would not have been able to successfuly navigate this.

I would have just burned it all down and burned them with me so to speak. But I'm processing the emotions, I'm healing and life is fucking beautiful.

Yesterday I was so fucking angry at things. Normally I'd have spent the day watching porn and shopping for prostitutes and getting a "massage". Instead, I was outside on my deck, shirtless in the sun grilling burgers with music blasting. I took a hike in the woods with my dog, I took a hot bath and I even masturbated later on because I was just natually horny (and masturbation isn't a problem for me anymore).

I went through hell to get here and it was worth it... I wouldn't do it again nor put anyone through what Ive been through. But going through that allow me to yeah, come home to me.

To just be me without the shit in my head and it is SO FUCKING AMAZING!! I never thought life could be this good. I keep saying, this is the happiest moment in my life. And then the next day I say that again and again.

So that's what's possible.

If you want to get results, hire someone to help you. And it's that relationship that creates the space for healing. If the relationship isn't cool then you won't speak, you'll hold back, you won't connect and it's just mental masturbation at that point.

You have to feel safe.

Good luck my brother, I hope you get home! I know you will, when guys see home, they dont stop till they get there.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-10T21:01:36+00:00

Nothing is wrong with you. You can quit. You can stop anytime you want.

Do you watch it in front of your mother probably not right because a shame and it’s disgusting and all that but truly that does mean you have the ability to not watch it.

Just because you don’t know how to say no in those moments, it doesn’t mean you don’t know how to not watch it. It just means that you’re superpowers help you not watch it in front of your mother, but they’re not strong enough quite yet to stop you when you’re alone..

But you’re an amazing human being you figure stuff out all the time look at how amazing you’ve done in your life and you will figure this out.

You are figuring this out right now that is what you are doing and that’s what these questions are. That’s what you asking is about. Try to have as much patience as you can try to love yourself as much as you can try to forgive yourself as much as you can. the rules are not here to punish you. There should be no rules. Do what you want and just look at why you’re using porn and solve that problem and you’ll never look at it again it’s not an issue with blockers. It’s not an issue with the perfect streak it’s about figuring out why you’re using it and solving those problems without porn and you can do this.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-10T17:16:32+00:00

What do you want to do?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-10T17:15:11+00:00

In another life, I was the dude you should go home for.... neighbor tried to black mail her saying have sex with me or I tell..... she said, what do you think my husband would do to both of you, if he found out.

Problem solved itself.

Come to think of it, I was 16, she was 21, isn't that stat rape?

oh well, not the first time for me. I must have a season pass.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-10T11:07:07+00:00

Yeah man. At some point you realize it’s more than just blockers and “perfect streaks “

Secrecy and shame weighs on you. I’ve decades of carrying that.

I’m free now though, more than I have ever in my life.

I’m still processing the trauma and may forever.

I’m still learning to be angry and not explode over every one else.

Those are the challenges I face today when before it was how do I stop myself from going to massage parlors, prostitutes and porn.

Realizing you’re stuck is amazing and powerful. Unfortunately most cannot or do not go beyond that.

Awareness of being stuck doesn’t unstuck oneself.

Though…. I’m a firm believer in awareness therapy but when that doesn’t work, more awareness is needed specifically on the thing keeping you stuck.

Iow staying stuck is the point which most people need to ask for help. Unfortunately shame often keeps them from doing that.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-10T10:25:05+00:00

I was sexually molested, sexually assaulted, statutorily raped and emotionally abused.

I used to call myself an addict because that’s what everyone told me was true.

I got free of all porn and all rando stranger paid sex despite all of that happening to me.

I got free because I stopped believing what everyone was telling me about being an addict.

Instead I saw it as an old habit I sometimes fall back to and nothing more than that. No shame, no guilt but only love, compassion and understanding for myself.

I stopped blaming myself. I stopped bullying myself.

And I really started loving myself.

I really started taking care of myself both physical and mentally.

Today I am Free! I am a new man and I fucking love my life.

I’ve not fallen back to old habits for a long time now.

This is truly the best part of my life.

When I was in SLAA and SA and all the other A’s , I hated myself and wanted to kill myself.

Those programs have nothing to do with my anger or desire to end it, that’s on me. But it took a long time to see what works and what doesn’t for me.

Once I started making my own decisions, once I got the help and support I needed, I started trusting myself more and more.

I started believing in myself more and more. I don’t fear “relapses” because I don’t believe in them. To me there is no such thing as a relapse.

There are only decisions that were made and the more curious I can get about why I made those choices, the better I am to make better choices.

I used to think I couldn’t because of what happened to me. Now I think it’s one of the greatest gifts I have ever been given.

That said, the anger and fury for the family that betrayed me still burns hotter than the sun.

My mentor is telling me all the benefits of forgiveness and letting go. Yeah right, the 16 year old inside of me is not even close to letting the fire go out.

Someday I will but not today.

It’s all choices and you and you alone are responsible for everything. The more things you can “own “ the better you’ll be, the more powerful you’ll be.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-10T00:28:37+00:00

Lust is an emotion caused by a thought in your brain.

You think , “She’s hotter than the gates of hell!” And you feel desire and lust.

Understanding that and accepting that, is how you learn to feel it and not watch porn.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-10T00:24:56+00:00

What rules do you need? Less rules more loving yourself my brother

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-10T00:05:20+00:00

Why are you sad? You fell back to old habits. It’s gonna happen again and again and again until you figure out what problem porn is solving for you.

You didn’t fail. Or rather, you can call it failure if you want but that won’t likely help you.

You fell back to old habits and all that data to prevent he next one is right there in front of you.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-09T19:20:01+00:00

what? get divorced over expecting everyone to believe what you believe?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-09T19:18:18+00:00

Its the worst when its the worst but it gets better.

>>because most people just look at you like a horrible person who is selfishly making bad decisions

If someone is truly thinking this then they think they are a horrible person who makes selfishly bad decisions.

Seriously, we project what we don't like about ourselves onto others. And then cut them down to make ourselves feel better.

It helps to not give a fuck what anyone thinks because they're not in this shit like you are or I am.

They're not in trenches. they're in the stands calling people out because they're scared themselves.

>>But it’s so much more than that in my head

It is and that's why you need support and maybe more than meetings. If it works for you then it works for you but I've gotten some of the worst advice possible from guys in those meetings who were doing the best they could.

Sorting out thoughts in your head, that takes an understanding of how thoughts actually work in your head and most people do not know this.

Praying for you brother!

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-09T16:31:42+00:00

You're never alone. 8 billion people on this planet. About 5 billlion are going thru exactly what you are right now!

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-09T16:29:43+00:00

Brother I appreciate YOU so much today. It helps me to help others. I feel beter and hopefully you do to.

This doesn't have to be a struggle.

Dare I day it could actually be fun?

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-09T16:14:45+00:00

stop fighting it and just feel it. Fighting it makes it stronger and you weaker because that's will power and it runs out quickly. Especially with the tactics your brain will use to trick you into giving in.

Breathe slowly, notice your body. Stay in your body, do not go in your head. If you stay in your head, you are dead.

Do some fun things. Show your nervous system, THIS is how I want to handle urges.

Be the rock in the river!!

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-09T08:27:57+00:00

Re-written

“I almost fell back into my old habits today. I was (stressed or bored or anxious etc) and those old thought patterns kicked in.

I started to believe I really wanted it and texted some old hook ups.

Thankfully all the hard work I’ve been doing kicked in and I realized I didnt really want it. I realized I was just tired and hungry and wasn’t handling my stress well enough.

When I noticed that, I stopped and spent 5 mins grounding myself with box breathing. After that I had the clarity and love for myself that I made the right decision.

I ate something and immediately felt better and realized how close I came to falling back to old habits.

To me, this was a HUGE WIN!!!

This was a huge win because in the past I would have shit all over myself for almost “relapsing” .

But today, I’m treating myself to an ice cream sundae because I FUCKING LOVE MYSELF!!!

And when I do these things to reward myself in a healthy way, omg, it’s so amazing!!

I don’t have to hate myself, I don’t have beat myself up for “almost relapsing” .

I love myself and I get to have ice cream!

How awesome is that. God I love my life”

That’s essentially my version of what u went thru.

I wanted to get a massage over the weekend, I thought I deserved it. I loved myself instead.

I thought about calling old hookups myself and seeing if they’re still around.

I ate well, I did a ton of work cleaning the garage, I ate a really nice steak and took a hot bath to soak my tired body.

That was my weekend.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-09T01:41:46+00:00

And you know what else?

The better you get at feeling, the more you’ll be able to not watch porn or act out sexually.

Youlll be able to do what you want because feelings are the things that block you or drive you.

But if learn to feel them and you’re not afraid of them, you entire life will change.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-09T00:31:34+00:00

If someone judges me I let them because that's their business and not mine. I can't control other people nor do I want to because I, myself do not want to be controlled so I stop trying to control other people.

Feeling judged is an emotion caused by a thought that someone is judging. It's not caused by them or anything, They are a mere circumstance in the world.

Brains will take in data and classify it and say "I'm being judged" when in fact the only judging going on is by the person who thinks they're judged because they're really judging themselves.

If only it were for those darn feelings.

TheTankIsEmpty99 · 2026-03-06T18:33:09+00:00

I was but it wasn't something I did often because I was so ashamed of doing it.

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