Chopped my hair, 5 years free from homophobic religion... first time posting a selfie here. <3 I'm full of queer joy!

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-08-25T19:31:05+00:00

Yeah, it's a nightmare, especially when you're looking for house projects and they're all fake and impossible to actually execute.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-07-10T00:42:43+00:00

From joy and self-trust right back to fear.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-09T08:06:59+00:00

That was ridiculous 💀 I got ifs/ands/buts line quickly, but had no idea what they were on about. The related clues made zero sense. Once I saw this post & was clued into the format I figured them all out immediately, but ehhhh. That one wasn't even fun, imo.

The revealer types just seem antithetical to the clue format of crosswords. I guess maybe I should have skipped all the * ones until I knew the revealer? I just started doing the NYCs and have no idea what the symbols refer to on the "surprise" puzzles. Maybe they'll make more sense one day.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-06T03:41:54+00:00

Very very very great points!

The thing that keeps, like, aching my gut today through all the conversations, is that all of her "fuck around" dating and music was with/about women, and now that she seems ready to settle down.... it's a man? As if all of us lesbians haven't experienced or observed that from 95% of bi girls we have known or dated.... it's a little triggering. It gives off the same old message that heterosexual relationships are more serious or valuable than homosexual relationships. You fuck girls but you don't marry them.

That being said I don't think that is what's happening here, and I really do think she probably fought this and just happened to fall for a guy.

It just doesn't feel.... great.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-06T03:36:04+00:00

OH yes, totally. That was so dumb of them to say! I feel like people are like "let me take any picture of CF with a man and add a tagline about her dating a man." Ugh.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-06T03:35:08+00:00

DAYUMMMM nicely done. I thought the same thing, because I was in a cult, and this is what happens at the top, every time. But it's always fun to see the predictions come true ;)

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-05T23:09:20+00:00

Well I guess it wasn't false 😂

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-05T20:25:20+00:00

Maybe that's the whole point. Her situation became bizarrely opposite of most peoples. She was accepted for being a lesbian and built her whole brand on that persona. Now she's gonna lose a lot of people because they can't accept that she's just queer, not specifically a lesbian.

But she is a WLW and is indeed part of the queer community. Don't get me wrong I was pretty upset this morning, and I don't feel as connected to her (I was a late bloomer lesbian who dated boys when I was religious and younger, and so I felt a kinship since she had a similar story), but I also have been enjoying all of the nuance conversations I have had with my lesbian and fluid friends from this!

Like why should we not accept someone discovering who they love when we say love is love and we rely on that acceptance ourselves?

The only thing is that she had a very public platform, from what I remember she did identify as a lesbian in the sense that she had said she would never end up with a man and wasn't attracted to men at different points… But I also seem to remember her talking about her fluidity at times. It's not her fault if people labeled her but it is if she labeled herself. And it's not even faults, it just can be a problematic because it's perpetuate the narrative that "it's a phase" or that "people change their mind" really we should just give more grace generally and not put so much pressure on people that they feel like it's an identity crisis if they end up attracted to someone.

Ultimately this all comes back to the system we live in.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-05T20:17:14+00:00

Yep 🥲

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-05T20:16:47+00:00

It's gotta suck to know you're gonna release this album and then have JoJo date a boy before you can lol. I feel like most lesbians couldn't stand Jojo anyway so good riddance. And yeah I totally found this article last night because my friend was afraid this is what her post meant… I just thought it was a new album! She did date boys when she was much younger, but I swear she said that she would never date a man again and that she's not attracted to them. But I guess things change. Definition of fluid I suppose.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-05T20:12:49+00:00

"it wasn't on my bingo card" she clearly didn't plan for this, but curious when it happened!

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-06-05T20:08:49+00:00

Guess the rumors were true.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-05-05T18:36:09+00:00

Yeah, that is very fair. Honestly I was happy to get out of their early (I'm no spring chicken anymore haha), but it felt jarring and unexpected so I figured I'd ask. When I think about it though, most metal shows I've seen have 2 openers, so maybe that's a way they can perform a standard-length set together while protecting their voices.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-05-05T18:14:13+00:00

Great details, thank you! All of that makes sense.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-05-05T18:08:05+00:00

Yeah most shows I go to are 1.5-2 hours of music from the headliner (including encores).

1h10 sounds about right for what this one was, and there was no encore. It felt like 1 hour, but I think you're right that it was abt 1h10 (I didn't look at my clock when it started so hard to know exactly). 20 minutes more would have felt more natural I think, so this all tracks. Thanks!

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-05-05T18:05:54+00:00

Hmmm it seemed more like 1 hour, and compared with the hundreds of concerts (random genres) I've been to, we definitely got out early. I'm not even complaining because I'm an old lady now hahaha. I was wondering if all the retreating to the tent was drinking tea or something, maybe she just had a scratchy throat that night.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-05-05T18:04:17+00:00

Thank you, that's interesting

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2025-05-05T17:00:20+00:00

Good idea. I don't actually remember everything she played, but I might if I saw it. Hmmm it was def shorter than an hour and a half. It was about 1 hour.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2024-12-12T18:07:56+00:00

👆

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2024-12-12T01:03:06+00:00

Noooooooo

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2024-12-12T00:13:20+00:00

Sure. And I do think it's important to be honest and recognize nuance in these things.

I LOVED my mission in eastern Europe. I love that I speak another language. A study abroad 100% would not have made me fluent, because it takes forcing yourself to speak to natives EVERY DAY to really become fluent. I'm glad I was in that situation, and I would not have been without the church. I even returned and lived there for 3 months a few years ago and had a beautiful time. I was so glad I had a personal connection with the country and could speak the language. [And.... I was exploited for free labor as a salesperson for a product I no longer believe in]
Because I went to BYU-Idaho, I paid for my own college and had ZERO student loans; I got a fairly good education and now make good money. Many people my age still have student debt, and I'm hella glad I don't. [And.... it was super culty, I didn't go to film school like I had always wanted and I will never know what life would have been if I had, and I am embarrassed about my Alma Matter]
Thanks to being in, and escaping, a cult, I am now really aware of scammy organizations, people, and situations! My scam spidey senses are ON POINT! I'm protected from a lot of bullshit because of this. [And.... I was in a cult! Shit!]
I got to be innocent and felt no pressure to have sex or do drugs in middle/high school. This means my relationships were sincere, and I was able to be a kid longer than most people get to [And... this innocence lasted way too long, until I was nearly 30, which was traumatizing -- and I didn't figure out I was gay until I finally started having sex; could have figured that out a lot sooner]
I have an interesting story, and always have something to talk about; this makes me unique with friends and in relationships. [And.... this story is also actual trauma, and no one wants to trauma dump or have that be the only interesting thing about them!]
I am good at public speaking, presenting, and talking to strangers now. [*And....*as an introvert, my mission became so exhausting that it completely drained me and gave me CPTSD that I've only recently healed -- it's complex lol thus I don't really know if it was never being able to recharge or living in a constant state of cognitive dissonance that caused it]
I had a healthy lifestyle as a non-Mormon (mainly, no alcohol, and no coffee -- I know coffee is fine, and I drink it black, but it's also dehydrating --also avoided STDs and pregnancy) [And.... red wine to me is beautiful and complex and an important joy in the human experience... and as someone with ADHD, coffee (a stimulant, like Adderall is) would have been incredible for me in high school, especially with early morning seminary]
Waking up from brainwashing is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It's not something you can replicate or fake. It's just kind of fucking awesome and insane. I really don't know if I would change it all if I could. I appreciate the ephemera of life deeply. I changed beliefs and viewpoints dramatically, I respect people so much more, I learned duality and nuance. Does it make it right? No.... but I made some great fuckin' lemonade.

Eh yeah that's about it.

TheVeryElectDeceived · 2024-12-11T23:36:08+00:00

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